i’ve just wrote a whole pharagraph but then i decided to delete it for some reason??

1) the anxiety and fear of the thought of what the future will bring is killing me. i know i have my potential, but i’m even afraid to try. because what if i am one of those people who thinks they are good but actually they aren’t? i’m way too afraid to see that. im not ready to confront it if it ever happens. i truly don’t know what will i do if my dreams do not come true. because somehow i’ve always knew and trusted that they would come true. but right now i am overthinking and being lazy, making up excuses and doing nothing fruitful about those dreams.

2)i find it hard to identify the person who’s writing all of these to be honest. how did i come to this? who did i become? i wasn’t that narcissistic angry person i am right now. i was calm, i was one with the nature. always respectful to the others. but now there isn’t a single day i’m not thinking about murdering someone. i truly do not know where i lost the track.

so yes, i am my own enemy and i can’t just make peace with it all