This could be a long read. I’ll try to keep this short but here it goes…

I’m a divorced father of 2 boys. Divorced after 9 years of marriage and it was bitter. Still continues to be 4 years later.

I met my current girlfriend 3 years ago while tending bar. She was a customer, turned friend and eventually girlfriend. We’ve been together for 2 years now. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, but few are…

She eventually moved in with me. She has a cat and a dog her that she brought in with her, and when her mom needed a place to live I helped her out. So we all now live together.

The things I loved about my girlfriend were her free spirited nature. She loves her firends, and her family. We share a love of animals. And it was easy to be stupid and silly together.

The thing I hated most is her hypersensitivity to everything. She just gets so angry at seemingly nothing at all. If she were diagnosed I’d swear she was bi-polar. It’s hard to deal with.

We got into a huge fight two weeks ago. I said some things I probably shouldn’t have said, but were my real emotions at the time.

I told her that I wouldn’t want to marry her or have a family with someone who’s so angry all the time. She stormed out, but came back a little later.

I knew she would come back, so I didn’t worry about it. That’s her normal play when we have fights.

After that we had 2 really good days. Happy days. We went to a BBQ and played games together, ate and laughed with friends.

The next day she asked if she could have a night out with the girls. I agreed and went to go see a friend of mine play guitar at a local bar while she went to the movies.

The next day… just distance. She was absorbed into her phone. The TV show we always watched together she more or less ignored while it was on… She wasn’t being mean or moody, just detached. Not even a kiss goodnight or an attempt to cuddle which is typical of her.

I tried not to let it bother me. I figured she was tired or having an off day, so I ignored it.

Then Friday, Saturday, Sunday come along and the same pattern happens. She’s going to see her friends more than usual and is increasingly colder toward me emotionally.

Finally on Monday I break and confront her. I tell her somethings off with us, and ask her to talk. She keeps quiet… I ask her if she’s mad at me and she says yes. So I ask why.

She says she’s mad about the fight we had and all the things I said and that she can’t change. She’s the person she is and doesn’t feel the need to change. And that being anyone else than she is for someone else would just make her miserable.

So I’m going through all the normal breakup emotions and don’t know how to handle it.

Plus she still lives with me and then there’s also her mother in the picture. So she can’t easily leave because of her mother being there and her animals. And she isn’t financially stable enough to get a place of her own.

I’ve tried to pick up the pieces with her and fix things, but I think her friends have put a bug in her ear and conviced her I’m not worth it. And that makes me feel worthless. Seeking advice….

tl;dr: Me [37 M] and my [27 F] are breaking up after 2 years. She and her mom both live with me and feeling helpless.