Troubled spirit

I’m sorry that you are going through all this pain right now. It can’t be easy having to face her and her mom everyday. Whilst you are still hurting it can often be difficult to be objective about the situation. You obviously said what you did for a reason. Did you really see a future with her? Or are you looking to piece things up because you you really see a future with her or because you are emotionally investing and don’t want to lose her?

It’s normal to feel the way you do right now and you sound like a very considerate person for letting her and her mom stay with you, however you also need to look after yourself and your boys. Remember you cannot be responsible for other people’s actions, if can only be responsible for your own. Her not wanting to work on things says more about her than it does about you. I am too learning this the hard way after breaking up with someone I’ve been with for the last 2 years.

It’s hard but you have to have some distance from her. Give it a shot at having a reasonable discussion with her. Get things off your chest. If you really want to make things work, suggest ways in which your relationship could be different or healthier rather than just suggest you get back together. Remember that self worth comes from within not from somebody else.

Though it wont help now, i would say that time is really the best healer. The pain wont vanish suddenly. All you can really do is brave the storm of hurt, nostalgia, regret and bitter-sweet memories that hit you. While that happens, engage with life as much as possible. Enjoy yourself witg friends or family. Allow yourself to feel the pain sometimes but even happiness on some occasions. After i ended a 5.5 year relationship, i was silently breaking and struggling but eventually it all made sense. I healed and resolved other issues. A breakup isnt necessarily a bad thing. Of course it hurts as we are human and attach to our partner. Its not just a friendship lost but a loving companion too. There will be an odd void on some days but i can assure you, in the end you will find your own ways to survive the pain. Sometimes its just not meant to be and no one is to blame.