Dear Suzanne:

I think you made the right decision to break up with him, only your mind didn’t catch up with the decision yet, part of you is still waiting for him. I think I understand, it is the emotional attachment to him, the hopes and dreams, those don’t easily die.

I suppose these hopes and dreams are now attached to this one man, but there are others, other men out there and one of them may fit you so much better, you just don’t know about that other man because you didn’t meet him yet.

Regarding this man your thread is about, it is not probable enough that he will be back to you, not probable enough to justify waiting for him. Reason is that he has some attachment to the other woman that is stronger than his attachment to you. It may be based on guilt and he may be suffering with her, and yet, he is driven to be with her. That drive is strong, it survived a very long distance relationship with her, over a long, long time and it survived a very intimate relationship with you.

The chances that he will disengage from her don’t seem high to me, they seem low. It is not a bad idea to incorporate statistics into our decision making, as in what are the chances that this or that will happen?

Regarding other men being out there- maybe there is a new way for you to locate a man who is available, who is not engaged in another relationship, who is compatible  with you.

anita