Dear flyby:

When X does not value Y, Y should not stay in the relationship with X, wondering if X values X, or try to make X value X or Y.

Instead, Y must value Y, and when X does not value Y, Y must exit the relationship immediately.

But for the sake of theoretical thinking: I think it is very possible for X to value X and yet to not value Y. X does not understand the deep meaning of inherent human value, but he values himself otherwise, on a more superficial (and yet harmful to Y) level.

anita