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  • January 22, 2017 at 7:25 pm #125936
    Bec
    Participant

    Ok so this is my first time posting and this is going to be a long one, I would love some advice on how to get through and some encouragement.
    I am 27 years old and I first started feeling anxious when I was 25. It all started when I decided to break up with my then boyfriend and move across country where I only knew one person. My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years and I think we both knew we should have broken up a lot earlier however stayed together out of comfort. I thought I was ok when we first broke up but after a couple of weeks I started having my first panic attacks and have been anxious ever since I was prescribed anti depressants which I started straight away. A couple of months later I made the move across country and I thought the anxiety would go away once I was settled and I stopped taking my medication after about 6 months. 3 months later I started feeling very depressed and would get in to hysterical crying fits and this made my anxiety come back again. I met a new boyfriend while I was away and he seemed to make me feel better although I was still anxious. I made the decision after a year of living away to move back to my home town to be closer to my family and my boyfriend came with me, the anxiety seemed to calm down after a while although its still always there. Just before Christmas I found out I was pregnant and we decided we were not ready for a child so had a termination. After the termination I became extremely emotional and anxious and this is where I am at now.
    I wake up anxious every single morning to the point where I am getting exhausted. I have started exercising and yoga, I have had 2 kinesiology sessions and am booked in to see a psychologist next week. I have also started yoga. All of this seems to hep at the time but I still find myself waking up very very anxious every single morning.
    Is this going to go away? I would love some advice if anyone has any

    January 22, 2017 at 7:49 pm #125939
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Rebecca1990:

    Reads like three events caused you much anxiety:

    Separation from your ex boyfriend
    Separation from your family/ home town (moving away)
    Pregnancy and termination

    Psychotherapy with a competent therapist will be a good idea. You already have an appointment, good. You started exercise and yoga and that is excellent. I am not familiar with kinesiology.

    I hope you gain insight in psychotherapy as to the source of your anxiety- maybe it is in your childhood. Until you have more insight/ understanding, clearly it is best you don’t move anywhere (and of course, be careful to not get pregnant again). Your boyfriend moved across the country to be with you? I hope this means the relationship is secure. You need to feel as safe as possible and stay with the familiar.

    Are your relationships with your family members, parents, siblings.. boyfriend, are those all healthy, that is, are you respected, not negatively criticized, not abused…?

    (will be back to the computer in about 12 hours, please take good care of yourself.)

    anita

    January 22, 2017 at 7:53 pm #125940
    Bec
    Participant

    HI Anita,

    Thank you for your reply.
    My relationship with me parents, siblings and boyfriend are all amazing. They have all been there for me and continue to be there for me whenever I need them.
    I am just starting to realise I can’t rely on other people to take my anxiety away and I have to work on myself in order to get better. I think I am also worried that I am always going to feel like this and never experience true happiness again. I also don’t want to have to take anti depressants and would love to work through this with psychotherapy and exercise.

    January 23, 2017 at 9:36 am #125975
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Rebecca1990:

    I hope you don’t take antidepressants. I did for 17 years. Sometimes I thought I felt better, but my living circumstances got worse throughout those years; there was no healing taking place. It is only through my first competent psychotherapy that I started my healing. A few years following the therapy I finally got off all psychiatric drugs successfully.

    You have a good point here: “I can’t rely on other people to take my anxiety away.” Really, it is impossible for others to do so. As you experienced, people can help temporarily but on the long run, healing is an inside-work.

    My healing from my lifetime of severe anxiety happened and is still happening as I build confidence in myself that I did survive anxiety (it didn’t kill me no matter how badly it felt, how scary); that I can endure it and still choose healthy behaviors, that feelings change and will not stay the same-forever.

    I believe you can heal too.

    anita

    January 23, 2017 at 10:48 am #125984
    Celestial Bliss
    Participant

    Hi Rebeccca, well done for having the courage to come forward with your feelings. It takes alot to be able to speak about these things and to seek help. Congratulations on seeking professional help and also Yoga. They will all be of great help in your recovery. Meditation is another really great way to help you calm your anxiety and relax your body and mind. It will also tie nicely in your Yoga practice.

    Yes, your anxiety will go away. You are already working on it which is such a positive thing as you are already on your way. Anita is right by saying that you need to find out where your anxiety is stemming from. Hopefully your psychotherapist will be able to help you with this. Another thing that you could do would be to have a Gratitude Journal. They are great for helping you focus on things that you are grateful for and help focus your thoughts onto positive ones instead of negatives that may contribute towards your anxiety. Starting the day with a positive affirmation or Gratitude Journal with help you anxious feelings ease in the morning. Visualisation Exercises could be beneficial too. Visualising vividly exactly how you want your life to be. Writing these down will help with the visualisations. You can take small manageable steps towards this every day. Also a great exercise to do would be “Allow and Release Exercise”. It consists of working through your emotions and feelings rather than burying them or fight against them. One of the reasons for anxiety is not completely working through negative emotions and burying them instead so any trigger can set them back off. Also anxiety can stem from living in the future or past and not being in the present. Again, Meditation and Yoga can greatly help with this. Try this Allow and Release Exercise whenever you feel anxious about something.

    *If there is a situation that is upsetting you or making you feel anxious or sad, go to a place where you can be quiet and be alone. Spend some time thinking about the situation and noticing how it feels in your body.

    *Instead of following the process you normally follow ( attaching past events and futures worries, questioning why and how and expanding the thought of fear or sadness), Stop…and put the intention in your mind not to continue with this thought process.

    *Breath deeply and focus on your breathes as you breath in….and out….in…and out….

    *Bring your awareness from your mind and fro your emotions to your body. How do you feel in your body at this moment? How intense does this emotion feel? Is there any tension or elevated heartbeat?

    *Now observe how this emotion feels in your body fully

    *Try and name the feeling/emotion you are having if you can. “this is how anxiety feels in my body”. Notice it and feel it fully. If you can’t name the emotion/feeling just state that “this is how i’m feeling now, in my body”.

    *Can you notice what prompted it? i.e “I am feeling this emotion/feeling because I am afraid of being alone.” Affirm to yourself, something positive in your life or a counteraction thought. i.e I will never truly be alone, I have myself and i am comfortable with being in my own company and I have many friends and family that are there for me.

    *Try not to take your attention back to your mind by attaching any stories, fears or judgements to it. Just sit in it and be. State that this is merely a fearful feeling/emotion.

    *Sit with the feeling for a while longer, noticing and experiencing it fully. Feeling how it feels in your body only. After a while the feeling should start to dissapate and reduce or at least become more bearable.

    *You can now take your awareness way from your body and back into the present moment.

    The more you do this, the easier it will become and the quicker you will be able to move through your anxiety or negative feelings and emotions. It will eventually get to the point where you will be able to do this sub-consciously and automatically without even having to focus on it.

    I hope this helped in some way

    If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me on:
    Email: trucolours@hotmail.co.uk
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruHigherVibeLiving
    Insta: trucolours_on_insta

    Good luck on your journey

    Natalie

    January 23, 2017 at 4:59 pm #126005
    Bec
    Participant

    Anita thank you so much for your reply, I was temporarily on anti depressants for under a year however came off them because I didn’t believe they were really doing anything. I am looking very forward to starting my psychotherapy in less than a weeks time.

    Natalie I really appreciate the time you took to put together such a detailed reply, I will be sure to give the Allow and Release exercise a go, the thing is at the moment I wake up and the anxiety is immediately there and I don’t know what it is there for. I think it has come to the point I am anxious about being anxious and the mornings are always the worst.

    I will let you both know how I go with trying out these new techniques and my psychotherapy session.

    January 23, 2017 at 7:05 pm #126010
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, rebecca1990. Hope you feel much better soon!
    anita

    January 30, 2017 at 5:21 pm #126415
    Bec
    Participant

    So I had my first psychotherapy appointment yesterday and it was all going really well and I was feeling a good connection with my therapist then at the end of the session she said she wants to do a little depression test on me at my next session next week as she suspects I may have depression. I immediately freaked out at the mention of this as she said this could be treated with anti depressants and I don’t want to take anti depressants. I hardly slept last night as I was just laying awake thinking about possibly being depressed. Does anybody have any methods to help me accept this if it turns out I am suffering a bit of depression. I still go to work every day and engage in normal social activities, I am exercising and trying my hardest so I can’t see how I could be depressed still

    January 30, 2017 at 6:17 pm #126419
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Bec:

    Wrong therapist, says I! Can you see one who does not prescribe drugs? In the US, almost all psychotherapists are not medical doctors and do not prescribe drugs/ medications. Psychiatrists prescribe but do not provide psychotherapy. It is this or that here.

    Back to you- you may have felt a connection at first because she was nice and you were hoping she will help you. Until she suggested the anti-depressants.

    Please insist on receiving competent psychotherapy, not drugs!

    anita

    January 30, 2017 at 9:11 pm #126434
    Jennifer Boyatt
    Participant

    Dear Bec,

    In addition to the other great advice, I want to suggest that you look into nutritional healing. Our bodies require certain minerals and such in order to function properly, chemically and mentally and emotionally. If we are deficient in them, it may not matter how much therapy, there are going to be consequences such as depression and anxiety. That has been my experience with myself. Some suggestions: magnesium, B vitamins, vitamin D, stop eating sugar/alcohol/soda/caffeine/white flour, Q96, supporting your adrenals (which may be exhausted), go to sleep by 10 pm or earlier. Drink a ‘greens drink’ every day and/or eat an avocado every day. That’s what keeps me sane!
    ~Jennifer “25 years of hell before I learned this principle”

    January 30, 2017 at 10:07 pm #126441
    Bec
    Participant

    Hi Anita – I am seeing a psychologist who can not prescribe medication however she hinted on referring me to a GP that could. I did tell her I wasn’t comfortable with that and I wanted to work through it with psychotherapy and she said we could try. Maybe I am just feeling low because that is normal after early stages of therapy?

    Jennifer – thank you so much for your suggestions, I have been really trying to watch my diet however I think I might look in to buying some vitamins!

    January 31, 2017 at 8:09 am #126464
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Bec:

    Not all therapists are created equal. Some are competent, others are not. Evaluate yours, over a few sessions. You wrote that she hinted regarding you taking medications. You used the verb “hint”- here is the thing: a competent, effective therapist does not hint, she states or asks. She should be honest, clear and direct. If you have a therapist who is indirect, then it is a problem. Next time, when you are not sure what she meant, ask. If you hear a hint, ask for clarification: “what did you mean by (this)?” Will she explain or ignore your question? Or (I can hardly imagine)- become aggressive in any way for having been questioned?

    I hope you post again regarding your experience with the therapist and otherwise.

    anita

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