Home→Forums→Relationships→How do you know you are ready for a relationship?
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sp.
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December 28, 2013 at 4:43 pm #47764
CydParticipantHi everyone,
Being that we are upon the beginning of a New Year, I wonder if this could possibly be the year I find myself becoming friends with and courting a potential mate. Judging from my horoscope (Taurus), I believe I will but there are some issues that scare me about taking that step. First off, I’m an introvert that likes to be alone most of the time. I usually find peace and happiness by just being. I don’t usually go out due to my studies, but for the first time ever I realized how alone I am and how much you need someone when my father died 2 weeks ago. Him and I didn’t have the conventional father-son relationship yet we were still close. He still mattered to me. Grieving has taught me that you can not live life alone and that sharing life’s experiences with someone else is what life is all about. As far as relationships go, I have been in emotionally unavailable relationships since I began dating. I guess these relationships provide me with a challenge as well the ability to love without being loved. I like to provide love and affection but feel like a person is clingy when they reciprocate it back to me. I also am afraid of losing myself in a relationship and falling for the wrong one. I’m a very intimate person. I also believe that I will bore a person with all my somber stories about all of my life’s experiences that have made me wise. At that same time, I thrive on sharing my happy moments with others. It seems as though I only want a relationship when I’m happy and not going through anything. I do not want a relationship to feel like work all the time. I guess because all I do is work, work ,work in college. I want a relationship to be like a leisure activity; some place I go to relax and take a load off, like a bar. I want a relationship to come easy considering I have been through so much in life. Thoughts?
December 28, 2013 at 5:21 pm #47774
MattParticipantCyd,
I’m sorry for your loss, and wish you strength through your grief. To me, grieving deserves a special place in our life, and we do best to make space for it. With your father dying so recently, perhaps its not a great time to question what it all means and plot out a course. Instead, its a good time to self nurture, experience beauty, and let the emotional journey happen.
With warmth,
MattDecember 28, 2013 at 6:29 pm #47778
spParticipantCyd,
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Travel always brings in new energy…You will soon find someone who understands you.
ty,
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