What I meant by others achievements having no affect on you is that you is that you shouldn’t do things to be “as good” or “better” than others. If you want to be fit, that’s fine. You can join a gym or jog or do other types of workouts but if you want to be fit to out do others that is when you should think about why you want to out do them.

We always compare ourselves to others. For instance I know a little about computers but for years it was never enough. There was always someone else who knew more and I should try to know as much or more than them. If I achieved that goal then there was always another person who knew more still and I had to out do them too. This lead to a cycle of misery. No matter how much I knew I always wanted to know more.

The truth is that if Superman where a real person he would do the same. Others would look up to him and say “Wow, he can fly and he’s bulletproof and he can stop a train with his bare hands. I want to be like that!” but Superman would think “Yeah, I can fly and I’m bulletproof and I can stop a train with my bare hands but I’ll never know what it’s like to live a “normal” life. Look at me. I’m alone, I hang out at the North Pole, I have trouble getting dates and the closest thing I have to a friend is a guy who dresses up like a bat. I’m such a loser.”

This is the nature of the self. It always wants what it does not possess and should it ever get what it wants it will always want something else, often within minutes. “Cool, I just bought a brand new Chevy! Oh no! Bill next door went out and bought a BMW. I need a BMW too!” “Wow is she thin, I wish I were that thin.” “He’s really smart. I need to be smart too.” “Look at them, the life of the party! I wish I were more extroverted.”

The best thing you can do is live your life as you see fit without comparing yourself to others. When you start to do so or when you start to put yourself down because you feel like you are less than someone else take a deep breath and tell yourself to stop. If you can’t stop thinking like that then ignore the thoughts. Pretend it’s a radio station that you don’t like and tune it out. Don’t listen to it.

Hi RedDress,

I’ve been where you’re at, and I understand that pain of what you’re going through, I wish sometimes I could go back redo school age life, and not miss out on the things I gave up because I was afraid of the outcome, but one thing you do have to keep in mind is how you’re feeling about going back and changing those things, when you could do that today to prevent that feeling even further in the future. I know change is hard, and sometimes you just need a kick in the right direction, but most importantly, that you haven’t wasted your life, because you have so much more life to live, just keep your head held high and remember that this feeling will not define who you are as a person, but who you choose to be