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I just need help. Thanks

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by Ira.
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  • December 5, 2013 at 8:30 pm #46294
    Troy c
    Participant

    Hello. I’ve been depressed ever since I can remember. Everyone always tells me that since im 20 that is how all 20 year old are but this has been a different type of depression. I started going to therapy about 2 months ago but haven’t been back in a month now maybe. I didn’t feel like it was helping even though I barely gave it a shot. Could afford the $35 everytime plus money for transportation there. But I get down on life and sometimes just can’t find whatever I need to bring myself back. Even though I was never really fully happy to begin with. I think I get so down because I don’t know what to do with my life or at least where to start so I can start now. Not know hurts. I have low self esteem at times so I always quit what I do after a while. . Basketball football soccer. Boxing. Reading. Etc. I tell myself that I want to “go pro” in whatever it is that I interest in next but soon find myself quitting and thinking what’s the point I don’t even want it that bad forreal. I dont understand what to do so I always end up just laying around in the bed. I dont like going to work. Don’t like the fact of how they consider you to be under someone at these jobs. I work at a grocery store and am really afraid that ill go from 20 to 30..40.. etc and still working in the same place, still with no dreams or passions. Where can I find passion in myself. I ask myself these questions like if it was anything I would do for free what would it be and what do I love to do but honestly nothing? Or at least I haven’t came across it yet so until then I’m clueless on my own life. .. I know history repeats itself so some one was in my shoes before to maybe offer some help? Hope they are on here! Ha

    December 6, 2013 at 1:12 am #46298
    Kat
    Participant

    Hi there! I totally understand how you feel. I have also always been a depression-like person and I’ve had similar thoughts and reflections about my life a lot of times. I think nobody can give you an advice of what to do to change it. There is no magic trick to make a change. I can just tell you that if you decide to fight with it, you must be prepared that the process of change will last for a long time and you will face a lot of ups and downs… It is not easy, but I can tell you that i feel much better than 3 years ago. I am still fighting with myself, my thoughts, lack of motivation, depression and felling of emptiness in my life, and I am still halfway, but I assure you that it is possible to make a priogress…

    Don’t get dissapointed because you cannot feel the effects of therapy. Two months is really not enough, it’s just begging. Your mind needs time for total rearrangement. It’s good that you are here. Give yourself a lot of time to read about calm, peacefull, happy life. Buddism helps me a lot, but I don’t treat it as a religion, it’s more a way of living. Forgive yourself. If your life looks like this right now, than it’s ok, it is such a time, think about it, what you like and what you don’t, what you would like to change and how practically you can change it, then do one thing, one little thing, that will be a first step. You will at least a bit happy about it. Than make another small change, and move step by step. And do not be afraid to try a lot of things and quit, it’s ok, this is how you works and that’s ok. It will be a long and difficult journey, but if you decide to take this path of change, in a few years you will look back and realise that maybe it is still not perfect but it’s different you.

    It’s impossible to give you worthy tips in one message, if you wanna talk more, you can contact me on kacja1{at}wp.pl
    Wish you srtength!

    December 6, 2013 at 7:58 pm #46350
    Al
    Participant

    In your case, I would say it’s not passion that you need to seek. Instead, I believe that you need to find what makes life worth living. At least it’s what I sense that you lack from your post. Unless you find the value in life, trying to find a passion will be meaningless.

    It isn’t uncommon that you have no guidance at this early stage of your life. Sadly, we are a society, and perhaps even world, that focuses more on making us efficient employees rather than capable human beings. We come to learn what truly matters later in life, sometimes even too late, and it becomes difficult to learn ‘how’ to think when all our adolescence we’ve been taught to learn ‘what’ to think. This isn’t the case for everyone but through my own observations I would say it is definitely the case for the majority.

    I will tell you what I’ve told other members in similar posts: take it slow, don’t rush, life is too important to do it poorly. Continue to explore, experience, experiment and discover. Eventually you will find something ‘worthy’ to dedicate your life to so don’t give up.

    Lastly, I do not wish to spoil it all for you but I do believe that in your case this may help: you’re still at the beginning. It will continue to be tough but understand that it will all be for your own personal growth. When such difficulties happen, observe and examine them carefully in order to obtain an answer. Don’t feel that you need to immediately find an answer for them either. Also, do remember that not all answers will be correct. In fact, all answers will be subjective. In the end, there is only what’s right ‘for you’ though that, too, can mean a lot of thing. I’m sorry if this sounds confusing but eventually you’ll come to understand.

    In the meantime, keep your head up. The first step is always to seek help, which you did. It means that in your heart you want to experience what life has to offer and I respect and admire you very much for that. Those that want to live life and fight for it always find a meaning. You’ll find yours, don’t worry!

    Al

    December 7, 2013 at 7:25 am #46362
    Ira
    Participant

    Hi there,

    I always judged men in my life wrongly. I am 44 years old. Got divorced with first one (who was horrible and mean), was in a depressed state got in touch with this person. I knew he was complicated but still got married to him. He was okay in the beginning. He gave up his job 6 years back and since then he started changing . I think he has inferiority complex, always negative and tries to speak negative about every one he meets. He has no friends at all. He has a family history of psychologically ill sisters and now I find him to be going in same direction. Whole day , he is at home doing nothing, but reading blogs, news channels etc.. and says , he wants to write books. He started ignoring me long back. We fight once a while and he uses bad and filthy language . I am very emotional at at that times, i really shout back. But my love for him and having an adopted kid, I am holding back and staying with him. I do not have any support from my parents. But I have a job and am independent. I work hard and always excelled at work. before marrying him I had a very good job which I gave up because he wanted me to do that . His parents also do not treat me well. I have a mother who is dependent on me.
    Should I pity him and live like this or bear this unhappy life every day . We do not share any physical relationship since many years. It may happen once in a year.

    Can some one help me with good advice. Is it wrong to think that I want to be happy.

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