Rideeta,

I am deeply sorry for all the difficulties you are experiencing. I commend you for seeking advice to help better your situation.

When it comes to (all) experiences, it is important to understand that they happen to offer us a lesson. It is also important to understand that lessons are never ending. Regardless of our age we will always come to encounter and experience new things, in turn, teaching us something new. With this said, it is to be understood that we will never have all the answers and will forever remain children (innocent/pure) . Accepting this will greatly help our mental state and spiritual being. Everyone is subject to this, including your parents. The mistakes they make are there to teach them a lesson. Sometimes, yes, these mistakes create dire consequences and some that are irreversible. This is why we must practice mindfulness of ourselves (thoughts+actions) and of others in order to eliminate/limit any harm we may cause. And yet, we must also find acceptance in making mistakes for sometimes we are meant to make them in order to help us grow.

As far as your motivation goes, it is understandable to be mentally, physically and spiritually drained from the ordeal you have had to struggle through for the last couple of years. You were in an environment where certain habits were formed. And, as habits go, they are difficult to break from. Perhaps, as all of our predicaments are constantly changing, the habits which once helped you are no longer and are disabling you from moving forward both physically and mentally. Take time to recognize those that are unhealthy and those that are useful. Use deep understanding and reasoning to help you keep those you deem are necessary and eliminate those you believe you no longer need. It will take a lot of effort but I sense that you are quite a capable individual and will perform extravagantly. Also, you are still tenderly young. You are going to encounter a near limitless more experiences therefore do not yet fret on not having a hobby or having no friends. These things will come if you seek them just as answers will come when you seek them.

To move on, take what you’ve learned from the last four years and apply it to your future. To not reflect upon your experiences and not acting on them is a wrong course of action. Doing nothing will not help you grow and develop into a better human being. If you want to ‘bounce back’, you must put in the effort for the reasons you wish to seek your peace and happiness. If you have something you find worthy of working hard towards for then do not hesitate. And if you don’t, again, do not fret. We are not meant to all know what our pursuit is (in our youth). In order to do so, we must explore, experience, experiment and discover. At the moment, your capabilities of doing so are limited but you will eventually have the means to soon. However, this does not meant that you should do everything all at once. A little here and there is all you need. Eventually, something you are exposed to may resonate within you and will show you your path. Until then, do not lose hope nor faith. Look forward to the beauty in the years to come for your current predicament, like all things, is impermanent and will one day change.

Your friend,

Al

ps: if I have made any grammatical errors, I deeply apologize.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 9 months ago by Al.

Al and Mike wow nicely said well written and awesome advice will use it also thank you