You’re right and I’m also sorry but that’s just me. I did have a bad time that time but I may have a good experience if I was to take a step and try therapy again, at the moment though I can’t really afford it and I’ll be going to visit New Orleans for a little bit to take my mind off of things before its time for me to move for school so that’ll have to substitute for my therapy. The reality is that no matter how much I love her or how much I want her in my life, she’s not and that’s a choice that she made, I shouldn’t have to force anyone that loves me to be with me. To be quite honest, At times I’ve felt stupid for still wanting a relationship with someone who would hurt me by betraying my trust and then leave me alone because I think of how much I blamed myself and how little I thought of myself. I’ve learned to forgive myself kinda like how I forgave her but I want to live my life to the fullest and the only way for me to do that is to work through it.

I know that I probably sound dumb but I still have hope and that gives me some sort of relief because I do still want that us one day, And if its meant to be it’ll be, maybe in a couple of months we’ll speak and patch things up but until then I think its best that I do whats best for me and keep on trying to find out what I want to do with me for the rest of the time I have breathing.