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My struggles

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  • August 26, 2018 at 7:16 am #223101
    Mate
    Participant

    I think I’m living with the aggression that comes out of me with no specific reason, or at least, I can’t find a reason except that my ego is afraid it’s gonna die so it launches aggression to defend itself. There is a lot of fear inside of me, I can’t find out the reasons for it, because I live in a peaceful environment. I can’t find any trigger for my aggression that would be outside of myself. Simply, when I start feeling relaxed and fine, immediately part of me becomes aggressive. It’s strange but it is so. Something inside of me is resisting the peace and feeling good or fine.

    August 26, 2018 at 7:35 am #223105
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mate:

    What makes sense to me is that “something inside of me” is your brain, neuropathways in your brain. There is fear recorded in those pathways. This fear is not about your current peaceful environment but about the distressing past environments at the time those pathways were formed. For example, a child grew up in a hostile home, the parents fought a lot. The fear was recorded then in the child’s brain.

    Later on, as an adult, the person lives in a peaceful environment, let’s say still at home, but the parents are divorced and there is no more fighting. The fear remains because of the time before, not the present.

    Fear originating years before, when it becomes anxiety, it means the fear is never really gone. Sometimes you don’t feel it, but it is there and it gets activated and reactivated. Sometime for no discernable reason.

    anita

    September 1, 2018 at 7:27 am #223977
    Mate
    Participant

    It could be so, that my fear originates from sometimes before, but I don’t have any traumas that I remember, it could be that fear occurred earlier than I could remember. Although I think it may not necessarily be so, it might be the fear of death that I awoke. Whatever it is, i feel it’s in my core being, like a conflict in the heart of my very being. I can’t bypass it, I need to resolve it somehow.

    September 1, 2018 at 7:38 am #223981
    Mate
    Participant

    Didn’t reflect under topics.

    September 1, 2018 at 8:15 am #223985
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mate:

    It doesn’t take a blood and gore trauma to scare a child. It is enough that the child is scared and there is no one there to calm the child, that is enough for the fear to stay and fester. A little fear can grow big if a parent is not there to comfort the child.

    anita

    September 1, 2018 at 9:23 am #224009
    Mate
    Participant

    Maybe so, my mother worked abroad when I was little, and there was a war in my country, that’s the moment when the fear might have occured.

    September 1, 2018 at 10:48 am #224015
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mate:

    May very well have been, if you were afraid during the war and alone. Write more about it if you want. I will be glad to read more from you when I return to the computer in about 17 hours from now.

    anita

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