negative thoughts

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This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by Mike.

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March 15, 2014 at 11:18 am #52817

André
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Hello everyone.

I’ve just realized that I’m a really negative person, I carry negative thoughts every day, every hour, morning to night, so I’m constantly putting myself in negative and hostile situations. When I remember the past I remember it really dark, and when I think on the future, it scares the hell out of me because I’m always picturing it tough and hurtful.
It has become a big problem in my life, I’m always surrounded by them, I can’t find peace for my soul.
So I’m here asking you guys how you handle pessimist thoughts?
why we have them?
Thank you so much.

I’m still learning English so, I’ll really appreciate if you correct me if something is wrong written jaja :).

March 15, 2014 at 11:55 am #52818
Archie
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Hey! I can relate myself to the feeling that you’ve just shared. But you know what, that was a long time ago. By the time I left high school, I had completely moulded myself into an introvert, under confident person. And to top it up, I had this huge pressure of living up to my parents’ expectations. They wantedd me to be a doctor. They did not know that I wanted to study literature. At my place, it’s a really big deal to shift from a science background to arts. And I too didn’t have the courage to tell them. Then I cleared all the entrance exams. Including the one for literature. And then the moment came when i had to decide. I told my parents what I wanted to do. I don’t know from where the courage came but I did tell them. At first they were angry as they had spent a lot of money for my med exam coaching. But then they understood me. It’s a really small experience. But for me, it changed the way I look at life. Before I made this decision, I always had a feeling that I will never be able to go any further. I had crippled myself psychologically. But this small incident gave me the kind of confidence that I had always been searching. Now, I see my past and my mistakes as lessons. And my future as a plan that I have to execute. I still have my moments of doubt. But I always remember one thing- If I have survived this long, I can surely go a long way. So good luck and if you ever feel dejected, spend some time alone or with someone who understands you.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 9 months ago by Archie.
March 19, 2014 at 3:50 pm #53110

Meg Hartley
Participant

Hello Andre,

The first step is becoming aware of your thoughts, which is no easy task – and you’ve done it already! Continue this self awareness, without judgement. As you pay more attention to them from an observing standpoint, you’ll find that they have less power over you. I recommend meditation as well! I started with walking meditation, and it worked magic for quieting my mind, and then transforming it.

Walk very slowly, in your room, or wherever you have some privacy. Feel the ground push back on your feel. Feel your calves tense as they power you forward. Notice every detail of how walking feels in your body. When any thought flows in, note it without judgement and let it float away. Once you start to get this down you can do it all of the time. It was truly a life-changer for me.

I wish you the best of luck, you’ve got this!
Meghan
halcyonmusings.com

June 25, 2014 at 3:38 am #59520

Anonymous
Inactive

Andre,

I am also learning how to be less negative. I am learning to recognize that such or such negative thought is coming into my mind and that I have the power to stop it. I am the master of my mind, I decide what I feed my mind with. When I feel like I am about to think negatively, I (try to) stop and replace this thought by something that makes me happy. It can be a happy memory or something I am looking forward to that makes me excited.

June 25, 2014 at 4:05 am #59522

Mike
Participant

Anxiety often presents itself in the way you have described, negative imagination. A person with anxiety tends to ruminate like a cow chewing its cud, there is really no benefit of the thought other than the fact that it is there and it is on a loop until A: It happens, and we say, “See! I knew it all along” or B: We learn to let go of these negative thoughts and seeing them for what they are- Our imaginations run a muck. In a way it is OCD because of the loop, I’m not a psychologist so I don’t know, but it seems people can definitely become obsessed with negative thinking. A beneficial book with good tips on over coming this problem is Dr. Abraham Lowe’s “Mental Health Through Will Training.” I have also read many other good books from non-doctors spiritual leaders, but Dr. Lowe’s technique works very well and presents strategies for overcoming the problems presented. There are ton’s of positive self help gurus out there that you can listen to or read, in my opinion (I have listened to a lot of them) Napoleon Hill is maybe the greatest and I would recommend you listen to “Napoleon Hill in His Own Voice: Rare Recordings of his Lectures.” The self-help book selection is an endless sea of recycled ideas, Napoleon Hill was an original, and sometimes you can find gems. “The Energy Bus” by Jon Gordon is also gave me some needed optimism. Like anything though, self-help books can become temperary band-aides until we unconcsiously forget about them and what they say which is why Dr. Lowe’s book is good it is psychologically based in order to instill a person with the tools they need to maintain their mental health.
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