Hi all,

I’ve written before about my relationship with an older man. It was a positive experience up until I moved away to college and things got really strained between us. Long story short he pulled away and I was terribly confused by his behavior. Maybe its because I’m so young that I didn’t read the signs right but for the last few months he’s been holding me at arm’s length.

He explained this as “needing space to process” the fact that I would be moving away to Florida and I understood that our physically relationship was over more or less because we agreed that we both wanted different things in life. However we stayed in each other’s lives, seeing each other about once a week and acting very much like boyfriend and girlfriend when together. We talked everyday twice a day at least. He wanted to be supportive of me while I finished school and was very proud that I got a job right out of school.

But the problem is he’s been dating someone since before Christmas. He never once told me that or even hinted that he had feelings for anyone else. I wish he had because these last few months I’ve been so confused about his behavior and I’m still really attached to him emotionally. I did something dumb and went over to his house last night unannounced and found them together. I have such mixed feelings about this. Even though I was calm and agreed that our relationship was over, something still doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like I was led on and that he was being really unfair not to have told me the truth. I do really care about him and would have been just fine if he had said, two months ago, that he was interested in someone else instead of sneaking around behind my back.

I know this is a hard lesson in learning to let go. I understand that he was pulling away from me so I should have just ended it months ago but it hurt too much to just cut it off. Now I feel like the dumbest person in the world because I let it get to the point that I felt like I needed to do something foolish. I care about this guy so much and I just feel like he’s treating me like I’m so much nothing to him any more. It’s just shattering. Hopefully I can learn a powerful lesson from this but right now I’m just stunned and hopelessly sad.

Thanks for listening.

-M