I am stuck. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a carer while working and all that that entailed. Then they all died. Husband, inlaws, parents – aunts/uncles – all gone. Then there was my own personal grief over the chronically debilitating health issues which have restricted what I can do, where I can go and resulted in limiting my engagement in activities that once fulfilled me. I can’t do the work I previously enjoyed. I am not in the place where we planned to be. and then there is the sadness about not being able to fulfil the wishes of my dying husband – at times it wasn’t the best of marriages, but it was ours. All I seem to have now are regrets. And please, don’t ask me to speak to family or friends – they are all gone! I reached out, but counselling is expensive, so I spoke with my GP who tells me if I didn’t have the other health conditions I could be treated with meds, but as I do, sorry, just keep plodding along. Well I don’t want to! I want help and I cant seem to do it alone anymore. I’ve read through the forums, pondered the blogs, worked on mindfullness and acceptance, attempted to reduce to reignite my ownness, but I am tired and struggling.