I had my heart broke a couple years ago. I waited for this boy while he was on deployment, and we had our ups and downs, and when he came home he left me for a friend. It was devastating and put me in a hole that I still to this day am struggling to get out of. I’ve had father issues my whole life, which might be a part of it, but I’ve hit my breaking point. After a couple more bad eggs, I met an another army boy. This one instantly took my breath away. Charming, tattoos, strong, funny, everything I was attracted to. However, he ended up being a sociopath. Made me feel like 100 bucks at the beginning, then slowly made me feel like things were always my fault. Made me feel bad for him when he was in the wrong. I caught him messaging his sort of ex-gf two months into our relationship saying he ‘wasn’t really into it’, and we were “just talking’, when in reality he’d tell me he loved me and we practically lived together. Then one day he broke up with me. I went to his gym, so it was incredibly hard to see him everyday and just ignore him. I would have left, but I didn’t want to let him know how much he had hurt or affected me. I didn’t wnat him to win. Then a month later he saw someone flirting with me and immediately wanted me back. Things were great. We hung out with his parents, I met a few of his friends, then one day.. he broke it off again, for financial reasons. Said he didn’t feel like a man bc he coudlnt’ take care of me. If I truly loved him, I’d understand. He needed to get his life together. Then the excuses changed when I kept pushing him that I loved him no matter what. “Well I have all these opportunities, I don’t have time for a relationship right now”. Then finally, I realized he met another girl. We got into a fight bc he heard I was going on a date the next day, and that night he put up a relationship status on Facebook. We fought, blocked eachother, hated each other. I was a mess. I couldn’t understand what I did wrong. I still dont understand. I started seeing the guy I went on the date with. We got along impeccably. He was kind, good looking, strong, sweet. Listened to everything I had to say, always wanted to make sure I was okay and taken care of. Cared about my feelings, unlike the other guy. But as much as I care for him, I sitll feel broken inside. I feel betrayed and angry. I feel insecure, self-conscious and weak. The worst part is every couple of weeks my ex will contact me, just to make sure he’s still in my life. Sometimes he’ll be cruel and say things just to see if he can get a reaction, other times he’ll just be nice again. I’m very confused. It causes me so much stress that I cannot focus on anything. I feel like everytime he contacts me I take 5 steps in the wrong direction. I have a wonderful guy who loves me to death and yet I still want to be with the guy who took me for granted and tossed me to the side. I need advice. I can’t do this alone anymore.