Hello everyone.. I really need guidance and outside perspective. I am having a hard time detaching myself and seeing love in my situation. My partner broke up with me about a week ago, and he told me it was for good. He told me that I need to heal on my own, and a few days later, I realized that a lot of issues came up for him.

I was in a very abusive relationship a few years ago, and it wasn’t until recently that I actually decided to make a REAL change in my life (like mindfulness!). I am so excited because I feel vulnerable again, but now that I am on this path, he is not here. He wants me to do this on my own because he doesn’t feel like he is good for me. He feels like he doesn’t love himself anymore.

He is really struggling, and he asked for space from me when we talked. We are going to talk again in a few weeks, but I am really struggling to respect his space and not try to help him feel better. I know I have to, but I just need guidance here.

I know if he asks for space, I should give it to him. I am, but I need something to keep me sane. I am trying to accept reality for what it is, but I keep asking myself if getting back together is even an option in the future. He is an amazing partner, and my inability to let go of my past really affected us, and there was one really horrible event that occurred between us. I did something so stupid, and he finally admitted to years later that he never worked out that issue because he needed to be strong for me. We were together for a few years, and I think my insecurities just popped up for the last time for him. It was like the final drop in almost overflowing glass of water. That glass finally tipped over, and now he just wants to be alone. He has many friends but is keeping his distance from almost everyone.

I have a lot to work on, and so does he. Am I allowed to want both? What do I do to give him what he really needs if I am confused myself? Any insight? It’s okay to give me an honest opinion. I am really looking for ways to allow this to work itself out, but I am too concentrated on wanting him back. Do I let go?