Dear Ana:

You are welcome. It takes more than our short communication to change a core belief, or core beliefs. Maybe quality psychotherapy will be needed.

It can help maybe if you print out part of our communication and re-read it at different times. If your boyfriend and you communicate well, it may help to keep communicating with him about what you figured out most recently, and keep figuring things out, keep  increasing your understanding.

If you want to post again here, please do. You can post again today, tomorrow, in a week from now or a  month, I will be glad to read from you and reply.

It is quite common and it is unfortunate, but often enough a child’s love for a parent is an unrequited love. It is hard to believe because we want to believe they love us. And  sometimes they show love, so we believe they love us. But when we look at the big picture, they don’t.

If your boyfriend loves you, that is, if he wants you happy, if he wants you and himself to be happy and not at the expense of the other, invest in him, not in your father.

anita