I am in a somewhat similar situation, I cant help very much but all I can say is you are very hurt about the way things turn out and you are blaming yourself for what happened, I did that too, I think its the attachment we have to this person that blinds us from seeing the real problems of the relationship, there must have been a reason for the fight and the bitterness?
How would you feel if you tried to explain yourself, and someone keeps ignoring you? of course you will feel rejected and not respected, This is what he was doing to you.. My ex did the same to me, He just ignored me when I try to communicate about stuff that worries me in the relationship, I did get very bitter. And for quite sometime I believed I was the problem, and kept blaming myself.

Just know that you are not the reason for the break up. Don’t push him or run after him if he is not meeting you halfway, he will not respect you for it. He is finding excuses for not talking to you, leave it and look after yourself. Don’t try to bargain with someone who is not interested to listen.

Give yourself the space and break you deserve and do something constructive with this time by starting to care for yourself and put all your energy in loving you as the beautiful person that you are. Im sure when he sees that you don’t need him that much he will stop and think what you are upto, at the moment you are putting all your effort in thinking about the past and looking at only the rosy side of the relationship and thus will make you blame yourself even more.

Please put the dairy and other stuff that reminds you of him away, Go for walks and appreciate nature and do things to cheer you up,
Just know that you are not alone in this, I was feeling really down too, coming on this website has cheered me up immensely and have given me a new way to look at my life and the relationship I was in, for real I was blaming myself and was on the belief that I didn’t give it my best shot that I should have changed, that I should have been a better girlfriend, the list goes on and on, that kept me stuck,, I couldn’t see it for what it truly was, I was too busy trying to blind myself not seeing his faults and the reason for the breakup and make up, The communication had gone and the respect too and I was just holding on to something cause I was just scared to be on my own as for some reason he was my comfort even though he wasn’t showing any real effort to keep the relationship from falling apart and to try and work on our differences.
I have reminders of him everyday cause we use to live together for 5yrs, and did loads of things together, but this doesn’t stop me to think that if he truly appreciated what we had as a couple we would have still be together now. Best not to remind yourself cause it makes u feel down and its at this time that you want to blame yourself.
Please be kind to yourself and all the best.

B

Rebecca

How about giving yourself space and time to think about you? what you truly want from a relationship? Sometimes I think about those stuff you mentioned above too, he was passionate, he use to calm me down when we had problems, but… he didn’t try his best to help solve issues we were having in the reltaionhip, he was just pushing everything under the carpet, Oh sometimes we blame ourselves, giving ourselves a hard time just because things didn’t work out, there must have been a reason for you to get were you actualy are right now? Im sure your ex is behaving like all the faults are with you, just like my ex, its so easy for them to do those things, but deep down you know why things have not worked out,

Relationships are not a one way street, both parties have to work on their problems for the relationship to see success, when an individual values and respect what they have they will fight for it, that’s how humans are but if we feel something is not worth it, we don’t give it our best shots,.

Ive been in relationships in the past that I didn’t feel I needed to do anything to keep it together, because I wasn’t that into it, but when you want something badly you will fight for it, but then again, in relationships, you cant fight alone, because if the other person is not feeling the same, things wont work?? It takes to to be in a relationship and two to make it work,

Since you guys work together, surely if he wanted to save the relationship he would have find time to talk to you, try and sort things out, in life nothing is impossible if you realy want to make a go at it…

if I was you I would just go about my business and give it a break, be nice to him as you would with the rest of your colleagues, don’t show him that you are miserable, just keep yourself busy.

What happen here is, he didn’t respect you and the relationship enough to want to listen to your concerns and to work on those issues with you… you ended up getting very bitter because he was ignoring things that mattered to you, I was feeling the same with my ex, It came to a point that no matter what I said to him he didn’t care, so you end up frustrated and bitter.
Please don’t blame yourself, Just look on the positive side, if its meant to be it will be.

As my mother always tells me, you don’t bargain with someone if they don’t want something.They have to want the product for them to show interest in the bargaining. so true that relationships are the same, one cant make it work if the other is not showing interest.

Have a great weekend Sis and be kind to yourself.

B

Rebecca

Yeah just be kind to yourself, remember there was two of you in this relationship, please don’t beg or bargain with him, it will just make you feel even worse if he doesn’t reciprocate, right now just focus on yourself, its the attachments that ‘s hurting you the most, all this shall pass eventually.

I am in the same situation, I was with him for 5yrs, its not easy and I don’t look at just the rosy part of the relationship, I don’t blame myself or blame him, its just the lack of communication that got us to were we are now, I was willing to give it my bestest shots, he wasn’t that interested, and I became frustrated, hurt, rejected, sad, u name it I was feeling it.
I guess the relationship didn’t mean that much to him even thou he was telling me everyday how much he loves me, yet he never made any attempt to solve the issues we were having in the relationship, and this is why he is were he is now and im were im at now. Truly if someone wants something so much they will fight for it.
I miss him too, every minute of everyday, but I keep myself busy, knowing he knows I tried my best, but he didn’t give a damn.

don’t worry girl, time is a healer. u will emerge a stronger person. Just go out and do something nice for yourself, I had my hair done yesterday and im hanging out with my friend later.. It makes me feel that little bit better.
.go shopping and buy a nice outfit and wear it, do anything to cheer you up, I know its not easy, but we are the only ones who can help ourselves to come out of this blackhole.
Take care and im here if u want to talk.

B