Hello. I’m back (hi Anita!) ok I may be a glutton for punishment. Well I am let’s just be honest. My ex and I started to talk again. It’s been almost three weeks now. It has been really good talks. Sometimes a bit heated as the old issues come up. But I have kept my resolve not to get angry. He says he sees the small changes in my behavior. We haven’t set a “status” for what we are. Just friends. I’ve gotten stress hives ever since he broke contact before all this. And most times after we talk I break out because I’m so anxious over all of it. So my reason for this post is, to get advice on him being “friends” with other women and him posting photos of them on his fb. Ok we have been talking EVERYDAY via text and phone call. Several times daily and Skype about 3 times a week. Granted I understand we are not calling us a couple. And while it might seem like a trust issue, it really is a matter of respect and principal in my opinion. So while we were broke up we talked sporadically and both knew we were on dating sites. he met some women and says they are all just friends and he has no intention of wanting any type of relationship other than friendship. Now he also has this belief about men and women being plutonic friends regardless of whether they have partners or not. Because if a relationship has strong trust then being friends with an opposite sex shouldn’t be an issue, there should be no jealousy if you have trust. Ok so I agree. Although I am struggling to grasp the concept fully. It seems logical and I’ve googled a bunch of stuff in an effort to make sure I’m still sane. So Saturday we last spoke at noon. He said we’d talk later. I knew he was going to this girl friends sons birthday party so I didn’t bother to call or text. I waited to see if he would contact me. He never did. Sunday I woke up, went on fb and he posted a video of the band playing at the club he went to with her and another photo of him and her sitting next to each other. I confronted him on it. I feel at the least it’s disrespectful. I pointed out how he claims he was there with a group of ppl yet he only posted photos of him and her. AND he NEVER posts personal photos, if so VERY VERY rarely. So now all of a sudden he’s got two photos of him and her on his page. (One was during the time we were broke up) I said I would not do that to you. I asked why he didn’t bother to mention he was going out. That’s when he went into the whole being plutonic friends convo and saying I need to have trust and not react with jealousy. He really really hates jealousy. He said I was acting “like a girlfriend” which is understandable, but I’m not his gf. Um huh? Isn’t that a contradictory statement? In the end he said In my opinion we shouldn’t even be having these conversations about pictures. Hmmmm ok well does that sum it all up? God what is wrong with me? Ok we live 750 miles apart so my logic here is first he is not at all the kind of man who will continue talking to me for “fun” right now especially he gains nothing from me. Since we have no way to see each other due to distance, time and finances. And like I said, we’ve talked EVERYDAY. So I just don’t know what to make of it. I feel like he is either lying and seeing her or at the least has intent to or he’s purposely testing me to see if I will react poorly. Because he really has emphasized he doesn’t want to have anger, or jealousy. I almost feel like I can’t show any emotion for fear he will say I’m acting crazy and emotional. If he is a narcissist, I have read that this pattern would make sense for him BUT only if there’s a gain in it for him by talking with me. As in “booty calls” or other physical forms of contact to meet the high that they need. But in this case he knows that isn’t possible. He says he doesn’t want to be a couple until he knows we have worked out our individual issues and won’t bring the same issues back to the relationship, so that is a healthy statement. So I feel really confused.

• This topic was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by janet.