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6 Powerful Questions That Will Change Your Life Forever

“Information is not knowledge.” ~Einstein

A few years ago I was lost. Frustrated. Scared. Unsure. Anxious. Trapped. Unfulfilled. Stuck in a dead-end job. Smothered by society’s expectations. Didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life.

I cared for myself enough to change my life, but I didn’t have the slightest clue where to start. I spent my days wishing that things would change—that I could escape a life that my soul could no longer bear.

The worst part of all, I was living the life that society had always told me to live. “Find a secure job, work hard,” they would say. “Get a solid job and work your way up the ladder.”

I don’t know about you, but it turns out that for me, the “right thing to do” sucked the joy out of life.

Imagine feeling trapped in an unsatisying existence. Wasting your precious time doing things that you really don’t want to be doing. Being afraid to express your uniqueness. Having fun on the weekends then dreading the upcoming week. Maybe you don’t have to imagine it; maybe your life is just like mine was, few moments of satisfaction drowned out by a constant grind of work that doesn’t fulfill you.

Then something hit me. It was a proverbial hammer to my head. I’d heard it before, but it had never sunk in. Then, as if out of nowhere, a voice in my head spoke loudly and clearly.

“Discover who you truly are and fully give every aspect of your uniqueness to the world. This is your path to an extraordinary life.”

I followed this wisdom as if my life depended on it. And I can tell you that my life has changed for the better since I followed this guidance.

I can tell you without any doubt that the greatest piece of wisdom that I’ve discovered in my life thus far is this:

If you want to live an extraordinary life it is imperative that you know who you truly are, and to do so you must explore who you truly are. 

These 6 questions changed my life forever. They will also change your life forever by allowing you to find your true self, and in doing so, discover why you’ve been born into this great world.

I’m not talking about the “self’” that others demand you to be or the self that acts a certain way to fit in and conform with what society accepts. I’m talking about the true you—the you who wants to authentically express your special and unique qualities to the world.

By answering these questions you will discover your unique passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations, which are all yearning for your expression.

You have a unique purpose. Discovering the answers to these questions will allow you to align yourself with that purpose and bring real magic into your life.

Self-knowledge is the greatest knowledge that you will ever acquire. Why? Because your ability to fulfill your unique internal drive will determine your ability to fulfill your potential, which in turn determines the quality of your life.

The questions below are designed to help to know yourself deeply and find what is truly important to you. We all have an unexpressed potential; the exercises are specifically designed to help you find yours.

1. What do I absolutely love in life?

List anything that you love about the world and the people in your life. Think about any activities that get you excited and enthusiastic and make you feel most alive. This can be absolutely anything: music, sports, cooking, teaching others, learning, watching movies—anything. Within your love for these things lies deep passion.

2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

List all of the moments that you are proud of as well as the times that you’ve succeeded. To have accomplished these, you would have used some of your key strengths. See if you can identify why you succeeded. Also, list any activities, hobbies, or anything else that you do that you complete with ease. Within these lie greatest strengths.

3. What would I stand for if I knew no one would judge me?

List everything that you would do if you weren’t afraid, even your wildest dreams. This will help you discover your greatest values.

4. If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Describe your ideal lifestyle. List what you would do throughout the day if you knew that you were bound to be successful, what kind of person you would be, how much money you would earn, and where you would live.

This question allows you to realize who you would truly want to be if there were no limits. By aligning with this you can begin working towards the life that you truly want to create. Know that you wouldn’t have a desire if you didn’t also have the ability to fulfil it.

5. What would I do if I had one billion dollars?

List everything that you would really love to do if you had all the money in the world. Okay, so you would probably travel the world, buy a house or two, and give some money to your family. Then what would you do with your time?

This question helps you to think without limitations. When we are able to remove limitations and boundaries, we can discover what we really want to do.

6. Who do I admire most in the world?

List your greatest inspirations and the qualities that you admire about these people. Think about what really inspires you in this world. What you admire about others is also a quality that is in you. Know that you admire someone because they have similar qualities to you.

Taking the time to answer these question will change your life. The more that you can implement your passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations into your days, the happier your life will become!

You can study to become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, or anything else, but this knowledge will only take you so far. Meanwhile, discovering the deep wisdom of self-knowledge will ensure that your life is far more meaningful and fulfilling. I’ve got a feeling that is what Einstein meant when he said “Information is not knowledge.”

The most valuable knowledge that you will ever discover is, and always will be, within.

Photo by Vinny123

Avatar of James McWhinney

About James McWhinney

James McWhinney is the author of The Wellbeing Revolution. James is committed to living an incredible life and empowering others to do the same. If you want to boost the love, happiness, and fulfillment in your life, check out his website at

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  • Noch Noch | be me. be natural.

    i agree – self knowledge, or rather i advocate self-aawarness is crucial to personal development
    it’s about understanding our underlying emotions and hence behaviour
    Noch Noch

  • Tanya

    This is by far one of the best posts I have read on this website. Very powerful & helpful. Thank you.

  • Lisa@practically intuitive

    This was an excellent post – thought-provoking and true.  Once you get on your path, follow your inner guidance and take action, EVERYTHING changes.  

  • Markstevenfuller

    very good ideas…thank you!

  • Deboldfield

    Great post. I’ve passed it along to my 18 year old daughter who is trying to figure out a career path. Hopefully this will help her make some great choices and avoid the years of slogging that so many of us have had.

  • Me

    What if we try and have no answers for these questions? I have no one that I admire. My greatest accomplishment is the fact that I’ve gone 32 years faking my way through life and not ending it.

  • Ellie Yamane

    Great article!  This may be the best article I’ve seen on this site.  You should post more often.

  • Cecilia

    Very inspiring and deep enough to dig within and bring out your true calling!!!

  • Annon

    Imagine feeling trapped in an unfulfilling existence. ”

    Sounds like parenting.

  • Guest

    I really like this post.  I answered all the questions.  Now what do I do with that info? I could find a way to have any of those things I would have by now.  I’m not sure if I understand. Thanks.

  • Cre8ive1978

    I would love for my son to learn these powerful lessons at an early age.

  • Matt

    I think you nailed it, a lot of us don’t have to imagine living an unfulfilling existence, even if there are momentary interludes of contentment.

    What if one has a very good idea of who they are, what inspires them, how to tap into that and be nurtured by it…yet we still feel this way more often than not?

    This was a great article, and by no means am I saying all of this to challenge the positive message contained within. I just think that for myself personally, identifying these things is merely a start. It’s knowing where to go from there that’s the challenge, as well as not losing site of it when the world starts to feel like its crushing your soul…

  • Sara

    Thank you for this. I have been in this weird transition phase where I feel trapped and I have been unsure of how to get where I am supposed to go. I know I need to do some more digging within myself and I have the loving support of my family while I try to figure things out.

  • Denise

    Wow, I’m sorry you feel that way.  I hope, if you are a parent, you can figure out how to make it more meaningful and fulfilling, not only for you, but for your child(ren), and if you are childless, there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying that way, don’t let societal “norms” dictate that you should marry and have a family.  Parenthood is not for everyone.  Good luck no matter which camp you are in.


    It has taken me more than 60 years to finally do what I have longed for. These are great questions. What’s important is how you act on your answers.

  • Candace

    I feel I was more aware of who I really am, and living as that person, at 18 years old than I am now at 58. ‘Life’ happened. I allowed my life to become the same as those I viewed at 20 as pathetic and sad…”who in the world allows themselves 2 weeks a year to do something, somewhere, that makes you happy?” I need that ‘ free to be me’ life again. I want to leave this life living and being THAT person. Maybe it took being diagnosed with cancer to here. I just hope I have the courage to do it! The questionnaire is a great tool…

  • Jodiregister

    I have been so busy recently that I haven’t been able to really sit down and read Tiny Buddah for the last few weeks. I suddenly decided to start today, and man and I happy that I did! What an excellent blog! Like a lot of other readers, this may be one of the best I have read on this site yet!

    I need to go write all my answers down but I was able to mentally go over them and even doing that, I immediately found the few things that have always called me. My struggle has always been what to actually do with that knowledge! A couple of my “passions” require a lot of money and although I am unbelievably thankful I married a man that has some cash flow… It doesn’t always help! A lot of people in the “profession” come from old money and it has predominantly remained that way over the years. What do you do to get past an issue like that?

  • Mariana

    GREAT article…absolutely loved it!!  I will try to answer the 6 questions… don’t know what could happen after that… :) thanks!

  • Ritaak2623

    I feel bad for you , but I can relate about not being able to answer most of the questions. Life can be so hard, but I think you just have faith in the Lord and he will always be there for you. It’s good that you are reading blogs and articles like this. That’s a very positive thing to do! Bless you!

  • Gypsyweaver

    OMG!  This is exactly what I feel every single day of my life.  Who am I?  What purpose do I have in life?  Is there anything in life that I can do to be happy?  Why am I alive?  Thank you James for sharing this with us.  I will definitely try this; after all, I have nothing to lose.

  • Sarah

    Have you ever heard the expression “fake it till you make it”? You say you’ve been faking it for 32 years. I would imagine that you’ve learned far more than you’re giving yourself credit for. Something is working in your life – what is it?

  • Joleen

    WOW! Great article! Thanks!!!

  • James McWhinney

    If you continually question your consciousness, the answers will come. It took me a long process of continual questioning to truly find the answers that i needed. You’ll recieve them eventually :)

  • James McWhinney

    Glad you liked it Tanya!

  • James McWhinney

    Great to hear. Let me know how you go!

  • James McWhinney

    Awareness is the first step, and a great step indeed. Now that you’ve answered these questions you are aware of your greatest passions, strengths and values. The next step is to introduce your passions strengths and values into your life as much as you possibly can. Let them be your guiding stars. The more that you can bring these things into your life, the closer you will be to fulfilment of your purpose, which is simply to give your unique traits to the world :)

  • James McWhinney

    Glad this resonates with you. Let me hold you accountable to trying this, i want you to tell me your answers once you’ve discovered them!

  • James McWhinney

    I was also in that phase Sara. I believe 100% that these phases we go through are brought into our lives to give us a nudge in the right direction, and here you are!

  • James McWhinney

    I think the biggest thing for me was the discovery that we will never jump from who we currently are to who we depply desire to be. As long as we hope for a quick transition, nothing ever happens. However, if we take baby steps and begin by implementing our passions, strengths and values into our current reality, we gradually build momentum.

    You will always feel discontentment – everyone does. But as you implement your unique traits into your life more and more, the discontentment will become much rarer, in fact, you’ll find that your highs get higher and your lows will also get higher.

    Use baby steps to build momentum!

  • James McWhinney

    I’m glad you liked the article Jodie :) If you’d like some extra guidance, feel free to email me and we can discuss this.

  • James McWhinney

    It’s great that you’ve developed such a great sense of awareness, Candice. Once you find your answers, the most important thing you can do is take ACTION! Take baby steps and begin by implementing your passions, strengths and values in to your life more frequently.What have you got to lose?!

  • Tanja @ Crystal Clarity

    Great questions, James, and very powerful ones.

    I can see a lot of journalling potential in each and every one :-)



  • Andrew W Dix

    It is ironic that we are so often seeking the answers to life’s great questions that we fail to realize that often finding the right questions are more helpful.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    I too have chosen to seek meaning, purpose, significance and satisfaction by understanding my heart’s desires and calling.  From time to time I share a few hard learned insights on my blog in the hopes that others might find them helpful in their epic life adventure.

    Andy Dix
    Author, “Life Matches: Fire Up Your Life!”

  • Bluventures

    Candace, I too was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 38. it definitely leaves you with a lot of eye opening questions and realizations. I hope you are healing well, not just physically but in life as well. It’s a slow process sometimes but well worth it.


  • Bluventures

    I’m right there with you on that one! I think thought the best way to do that is to lead by example and make them aware of asking themselves the same questions throughout their lives. The rest we can just hope they can be happy and healthy.

  • Bluventures

    These are great questions! I guess I have to consider myself lucky in the sense that I have never really felt that way, at least not long enough to not just walk out of the situation. I have been a free bird my whole life and have been able to travel the world, learn many lessons through experiencing people and situations that I would not have learned any other way. I was married to a wonderful man for nine years with whom I have an amazing daughter and he and I are still very close friends. I’m even friends with his new wife and we all co-parent very well together. I have also dealt with many illnesses through the years that I think may have helped me keep wanting to be free

  • Bluventures

    Oops! Hit post accidentally…

    The one question I have difficulty with is #3. I have never really worried about what other people think about what I do. Is there another way of looking at that question? Of course giving a speech to a large audience scares the crap out of me, but that’s not exactly a passion of mine even though I would do it if it became part of something I was doing.

    …or am I not understanding it?


  • Odyssey

    Annon, if this is where you are “trapped in an unfulfulling existence” you have the power through your thoughts, and choices to change that.  Open yourself up to a GREATER & BETTER existance for yourself.

  • Lv2terp

    FANTASTIC article!!!!! Thank you for such wonderful questions, and sharing your wisdom :)

  • Lana

    Put so well. And I agree one of the best blog posts I have read!!
    Really hits you at the core. I’m making changes as we speak. It definitely takes courage and persistence, 2 traits I hope to acquire.
    Thankyou for the inspiration

  • Caroline

    Great post and this really summed up where I was a few years ago, love it ” “right thing to do” sucked the joy out of life.”
    Great questions to get us moving towards the life we want, whilst we have to be happy with the life we have.

  • Deb Land

    Fabulous post – I actually took a piece of paper for each question and spent time scribbling in the answers.  They are now pinned to he board next to my desk so I can keep adding to them!  Thank you for sharing this post.  Namaste x

  • Rebecca Rofrano

    Wonderful post, and while I have thought of these items individually… They are moving and much more powerful together. I’ve share this with several friends.

  • Amused

    am I the only one who looks at these questions and becomes seriously afraid to answer them? what am I afraid of…actually having to do something to bring forth change? probably so.

    I’m not usually so opposed to change. in fact, I welcome it. I just don’t know why these questions scare me so.

  • James McWhinney

    You’re defintely not the only one who feels afraid. It takes true courage to push on through the fear, but it could be one of the most important grwoth phases that you’ll ever encounter. My tip: go for it! Your fear will quickly run away and hide as soon as you begin taking action.

  • James McWhinney

    Bluventures, you’re positivity is contagious :). With #3, it’s designed for you to discover what you may deeply feel but may be holding back due to fear of judgement from others. If you feel like you’re fully expressing all of your emotions and talents to the world in every aspect of your life, there is no need to find an answer. Challenge yourself to find an answer. Kudos to you if you can’t! 

  • Kara Zigay

    Number 4 has got me thinking and I’ve been writing like a mad woman about the life I want…. I seem to want it all and the life I want changes in my mind… Where I’d live what I’d do with my day but the one thing that doesn’t change in my mind is who I want to be…. ‘ll come back to this question again…..

  • steph

    Right!  Life happens, and you begin to think that what you used to want is no longer possible.  Especially while you’re raising a family;  priorities must shift, and in the shifting of focus, you lose the old ideas of YOUR ideal.  And if you are lucky enough to keep the old ideals in mind, maybe you can no longer afford the lifestyle or activities that used to be in that mental “pretty picture” of your life.  I so hear you, Candace.  I’m 44, and beginning to feel the same way as you.  Who the heck am I, and how can I NOW –with these circumstances (for me, my family) — be what I’ve always wanted to be?!  The best of all luck with your cancer fight.  I’ll say a prayer for you tonight.

  • Rebecca

    Those questions are so powerful. They’re very similar to the ones I asked myself when I began figuring out what I want my life to look like. At the moment, it looks exactly like your old life as you described it. Clock-watching my way through the working week, clinging onto the weekend for dear life. It’s no way to live. But I feel as if I’m finally clear on what I want to do, and I’m taking the steps I need to take to get there. And questions like the ones you shared were so helpful in helping me to gain clarity and start taking action.

    Great post. It’s so reassuring to know that other people have been through similar experiences.

  • Christine

    i came to this article through an online job search bootcamp on which i highly recommend.  it’s part philosophy, part nuts-and-bolts.  you really have to do the homework to move (inch or leap) forward.  all of the reading in the world isn’t going to help if you don’t put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.  i really liked your comment james about building momentum w/ tiny steps. i also think a course that delves into these life questions should be taught in high school as kids start working part-time and prepare for higher education. i never read what color is your parachute.  but just handing a kid a book does not guarantee it will be read or applied to life (back to the information is not knowledge quote). and then of course these questions must be revisited throughout life as we evolve. 

  • Srinivasan Sankaranarayanan

    A brutally honest set of questions which has made me think.

    Thanks James


  • antipodes

    Here’s a thought:  try stopping the faking.  See what happens.  That seems like a good initial challenge.

    After you’ve done that for a while, come back, try answering the questions, and figuring out a way forward from there. 

    But you’re not going to get anywhere new until you stop walking around at the end of the same dead end path.

  • Deepa

    This is a very useful post, thanks!

  • gas

    to lose a family member brings life into prespective my daughter and wife to be mean everything to me family do to and freinds and to make a smile on another persons face and help them is all i aspire to be to make my brother proud and to b half the man he was ( not to b him just take a few ov his values ) would make me happy good post and if i had more money id have more problems lol peace

  • P

    This is one of the best posts I have come across anywhere….Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Ursula wood

    Excellent coaching questions that probe for a deep meaningful answer from within. Many thanks, I will go away & do the work of answering them. Thank you x

  • Alii

    I red this about 5 times to fully understand it. Once I understood and could connect things, I literally started to cry. This is one of the best posts that I have read on a website

  • Hugo

    What now??

  • juck17

    This is really beautiful. I’m seventeen and am going to college in a few months and was wondering if I was making the right decision with my choice of major and career and this helped my realize that I am 100% on the right path. Thank you sir!

  • Bryan Johnston

    An excellent post, and one of those all-too-rare moments when we read something that seems to be written specifically for us. Every thought, every idea, every emotion spoke to me. It is me. It has taken me nearly 37 years to realize that the things I want and feel passionate about are not frivolous and childish. That everyone’s idea of “normal” is and should be different, speaking to us as individuals.

    I have been asking – and answering – myself these very questions for the past six months, and as a result am about to embark in an entirely new direction. Thrilling and terrifying. It’s nice to see the questions so succinctly articulated in one place…and to see that I am not alone in wanting and expecting more. Thanks, James.

  • Lovel

    1. The things I love are also the things that make me depressed
    2. I have no accomplishments so far
    3. Nothing
    4. I would become a ghost so I wouldn’t have to live through all the troubles and could just watch.
    5. I would probably give the 1 billion dollars away because I don’t even know what I would want to do.
    6. I admire no one.

  • fsdf

    Not just powerfull but really really helpfull

  • Lisa H.

    What I find interesting is how lifes answers come in the form of asking the right questions. The question I found most resonated with me was “if my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?” I 40 years old and have yet to answer this fully. And I know, part of the reason is that if/when I answer it fully, I will feel a push towards making it my reality and I am not sure whether I want to deal with that yet.
    I also like the one about who I admire most in the world. I like the idea of seeing qualities I like in someone else and cultivating them in myself. Thanks for these questions. Now it is a matter of taking the time to reflect on and answer them.

  • God

    If you, like me, don’t buy this, just remember that suicide is an alternative.

  • Stefani

    Google brought me to this page and the opening paragraphs describe exactly where I am right now. I’m blessed in life and have some wonderfull successes in it too, but feel there is one almighty gap. I feel I’m not fulfilling an unknown dream if that makes any sense! So I have just sat down with a pen and paper to think through the questions …. Thank you xoxo

  • LadyAngler

    I broke down crying today reading this post. At age 50 I have been working in the corporate world, enduring toxic bosses and backstabbing coworkers to the point of becoming severely depressed and sick.

    I am trying so hard to answer these questions and figure out how to make a living doing something I am passionate about. My love for nature, animals, fishing, outdoors, simple living, art, helping others and the ability to overcome many hard knocks in life…there has got to be something out there for me that is better.

    I am dying a slow, painful death in the corporate world. Big salary, fancy car, keeping up with Jones’ boss and coworkers and high pressure job in big highrise office building – I feel like I am selling my soul to the Devil.

    I hate it, I am miserable and I am desperate to quit and find something where I can wake up and be happy instead of feeling like I am going to throw up. Yea, my job is that bad.

    I pray I find happiness soon and am hoping these questions turn on a light bulb so I can climb out of this darkness and feel normal again. I want to quit my job now but I support myself and my son, dont want to use what little savingsI have then be stuck unemployed. Wish me luck! Thanks for your post.

  • grace ann garcia

    thank you very much.. I wrote all the questions on my journal and I will answer the questions with all my heart… I think this will help me a lot to become who I wanna be and be what I wanna be,, =)…

  • Ananya

    I have never been able to find a way to move towards discovering myself till I asked the 6 questions to myself. I am really glad that this step has brought in the beginning of clarity into my life

  • amrsamy

    Lets change this questions to : 1- Why im created ? , 2- What does the creator want from me ? , 3 – What happens after death ?, 4 – Is there really a hellfire and a paradise after death ?, 5 – What did the creator of everything do to guide me to his way ? – If you really find answers to this questions, you will be the happiest one on this earth, and you will feel how mature you’re.

  • Chris Warble

    1 – I was created to serve the creator, 2 – The creator wants from me my undying worship and gratitude, 3 – After death I will be judged for my actions on Earth, 4 – Maybe there is and maybe there isn’t, 5 – The creator guided me his way by putting people on Earth that have drilled this nonsense into my brain since birth. Thanks for the post, I’m changing my religion to undecided.

  • anand

    people in our world are filled with untapped potential ! your post definitely play as a key to open it and not only that, it also acts as a guidance to all who find themselves lost in treacherous mountains of life ! thank you n continue your good work ! cheers.

  • Anand Narayanan

    nice post ! serve as a path for the ones who lost in treacherous path of life. questions have to be answered. life has to be lived. and there is only one life. so, don’t allow regrets to creep in, rather be a pizza boy if you wish to do ! what you love, go for it !

  • Chris

    I Enjoyed this

  • Karun

    Thank you very much :)

  • thuxua

    If I can’t answer any of these questions, am I really lost?

  • Dennis

    I just found this web site today (4/20/13)…Candace I bet your post hits a lot of us heading into the last 3rd of our existence in the heart. When I was 20 or so, dreams and the energy they created kept me up at night with enthusiastic anticipation…But back then I thought I had forever to act on them. Now, a whole lot of living out of necessity and survival has taken the place of my dreams. They are so distant that this exercise is a whole lot harder than it would’ve been back then. I’ve spent my entire life with a few very brief segments, living to please everyone but me. I’m 62 and have this recurring feeling that I’ve managed to squander the lion’s share of a tremendous gift. Although I’ve had some very precious and notable events in my life, most has been spent in living a life of quiet desperation. Up until now I’ve lacked the courage to step out and make the gift of getting to live on this planet meaningful. Finding this site has been a gift and I give thanks to the author of this article. —A great place to start…

  • Dennis

    By the way Candace, I hope your dreams are materializing now and the cancer is only a memory.

  • hippiehappy

    I wish you the best in making a decision about your career that will bring you satisfaction. :) Acknowledging what you do not like is sometimes the best first step toward achieving what do you do want. What I can say is, there is no job worth making one feel the way this job seems to be making you feel. Of course in the real world we must be practical, so finding a new job is ideal before moving on, but definitely move out of that toxic environment as soon as possible.

  • Katherine

    I love hippie happy’s answer. I’m 22 right now and soon to graduate; what you feel is exactly what I fear to be when I’m older. I hope that you can find something to do which you love and get out of that environment ASAP! It is crushing your soul. You said you get a big salary, fancy car, yet you love simple living. Perhaps that’s where and to wh you need to go back

  • Katherine

    Go back to**, a simple lifestyle.
    Maybe that’s exactly what you need, it will help with your savings and make you happier… It’s a big change but better than NO CHANGE.
    You have a child, and experience in work force..

  • Katherine

    & if you don’t do it for urself, do it for UR son. He’ll appreciate it more and can look up to you when he gets to this point. You will be HIS inspiration

  • Jit

    I wish I could answer. For example … with reference to the last question – there are lots of people I admire but bits and pieces. Some from another time. Each of these questions are potent but very fuzzy.
    No easy path for I has been asking similar questions for a while now :).

  • Dylan Albino

    “Adventure, Exploring, Nature, Learning knew things, How stuff works,
    Space, Action.
    Finding inner peace, Helping others.
    Bullying, The rights of all living things.
    I would live each day traveling, exploring the world, Discovering
    new things, helping people!
    Travel, put money into funds to stop bullying, help the ones really in,
    I admire anyone who does what they want, when they want.”
    My answers to the questions, but now what? I’m 17 years old, Just graduated and want to do something with my life that i have no idea what I am suppose to be doing, I’ve meditated, Searched my mind for the answer, but All i can feel, and all i see is you will not get somewhere without the money, I don’t know what job field is best for me with my answers, I’m stuck, and I am lost, If anyone has any suggestions, I would be most grateful.

  • Tvivl

    What if one doesn’t know the answers to these questions?

  • Dez

    Thank you for posting this. I’m 22, still studying and feeling the pressure to grow up and choose a career as everyone around me has already started their serious adult lives. I’m so unsure of what I want to do or who I want to be. I can’t believe I already feel behind at 22. This post has reassured me to relax and consider what is most important.

  • Sanjeev yadav

    Brilliant i loved it I was feeling so depressed but after reading this i know my potential i know where i stand and where i have to go Thank you so much for such beautiful words!

  • nou

    I feel trapped, and I also care for myself enough to making a change. Your post is very inspiring. I feel so happy just to write answers to your questions. I hope I will find a way.

  • a 14 yeah old retard boy

    anger came from fear. what are you scared of and you will find out what you are angrey at

  • katherine

    James thank you so much for this article. I am exactly where you were before and thought I would be forever stuck. You have inspired me!

  • mindstate

    really really like this and can relate to it. in the past month my grandma who I am very close with got diagnosed with leukemia, and my best friend that I grew up with got diagnosed with a brain tumor, and the girl I’ve been with for close to two year we just split up two days ago. I am in school for pipefitting and were I am from that is a BIG thing because they make lots of money were I am from but I hate it. I am in school and did a test and failed because with everything going on I find it hard to keep focused and study witch is stress all by its self. so I am lost in my thought and my identity or who I feel I was is lost and it is a scary feeling. I wanted to drop out of school and follow my passion but my passion requires money to get it started so I am stuck. sorry to vent. appreciate your post though. cheers

  • Lost

    married mom of 3 kids , turning 30 in a lil over a month.. and i feel like i have no idea where my place in life is… NO IDEA.. and the thought hit me like a ton of bricks… no idea where i am spost to be, where i am spost to be going , why i can never stop worrying about EVERYTHING,, controlable and uncontrolable. Lost completely lost , sad, loney, How and i spost to be a roll model for my children when I feel like i cant even get it together myself… =’( I just want to give them the best chance i can in life as i see it around me .. the world going down hill and i worrie about them dealing with life even worse than it is now days… I feel so strongly but somedays i can barely get myself out of bed… Lost… I feel like i need to be taught to stop looking at the negatives and look at what beautiful things i do have… Deeply saddened with myself..

  • OcaOla

    Then do not look at negatives. It is that simple. You know that God knows all. Think about it. If God is not willing to do anything about it, what chance do You have? If there is nothing You are able to do, why worry about it? But if You feel it in your heart, then go and change it.

    What would You like to do? What si your passion? What resonates within You?

  • Nicole K

    it is amazing how tricky some simple questions can be! I am only 25 and have hopped between several career choices and have once again landed in one that I am unhappy with. these questions were helpful! but hard! I think I will need to come back to them because I stuggled quiet a bit with them. but again…this was a helpful post. I just don’t want to make another bad career choice and find myself at a desk job that makes me want to…jump out a window or something. the one thing I said and thought I would never do is the one thing I am doing…a desk job.

  • bouboue

    this really has made my life better thnks

  • Altumspatium

    Answers to these questions are meaningless. Life is meaningless. In the end we are all going to die, end of story. No one will remember you in a billion years, and in about 10 to the power of 100 years the building blocks of matter itself will have decayed. What’s the point? This post, this whole website is just a bunch feel-good mumbo-jumbo, just there to try and trick you into buying something. The emperor is naked.

  • leon

    nice ..=D

  • Ann

    A really good post… Maybe we can try answering these questions everyday and identify where we stand and judge how much closer we are moving towards our goal of true happiness… a slow and step by step approach but really worth it….

  • Señor

    I can’t do it I hate my life I’m still young but I already have so much going on I feel like I can’t tell my friends anything cause of how they look at me so that means no getting serious they won’t take me serious and I don’t mind the job I just wish I had more guts to do what I wanted but being judged is one of my biggest fears

  • Ash

    Love of god is your life understand it make the most of it all you got is 25years it dos not mean that the world is going to end in 25 years in your life the best part is 25years enjoy it gods gift

  • Andrea

    This was probably the best post I’ve read so far on Tiny Buddha. It really forced me to reflect on my life by asking me questions that I’ve never bothered to give any thought to. Thank you so much.

  • L

    really enjoyed this, i felt like it spoke to me personally. Thank you.

  • mccrearym

    The prophet of meaninglessness never speaks, so it sounds like you’re trying to work out some issues that many others have or are dealing with. I used to think this way, and I eventually realized that it was my contrary, pessimistic nature that wasn’t letting me open myself up to other possibilities. The world can be a depressing, disappointing place, but closing off your heart and mind to anything other than your current beliefs is exactly the idea that your naked emperor reference was all about.

  • Chrissy

    I’m 23 and trying to find my place in the world. This definitely shed some light in me. Thanks for this wonderful post!

  • kingneptune

    Who you are is not important at all, it is totally the wrong question and the answer is meaningless. The only relevant question is who can you be. If you truly try to be the best person you can each and every day, who you are tomorrow is much more important than who you are today.

  • ThomasYates

    Great read :) Only just come across your website but it shall be bookmarked and browsed over the next few weeks.

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    Become familiar with the futures. On the NASDAQ, futures do play an important role as the stocks usually move upward or downward with the nifty futures tips.

  • leemann

    i need help im stuck in a boring job and cant even afford to do anything other than eat and pay bills its hard to get up in the morning. i know exactly what im going to face each and every day i want to do more but im trapped.

  • Sinestre

    I love this post, but I have one question, and please know this comes from a place of desperation: What if your answer to these questions is “I don’t know?”, or “nothing”, or “no one” ? Does that mean I’m not trying hard enough? Sometimes I spend hours on things like this. I read “here’s a profound statement” and then I see “find out who you truly are” and I think “aw gee that’s great…” Sometimes I can’t even answer “What do you love to do” because there a lot of things I will like doing one day but not the next. Bah, this isn’t the place for ranting.

    Praises for your article. It was really good. Thanks.

  • Alex

    Information is definitely not knowledge – its just a bunch of known data as Einstein mentioned.. thanks for your post – it is really worth reading

  • sruthi

    its tooo good its really a refreshing thing of our mind

  • Noah

    I love you :)

  • G.B.

    I am very happy for you that you were able to do what I too seek to do. You give me great hope for my future as well. Thank you for your inspirational post.

    I have long struggled with such questions. As a woman I have huge mental blocks when it comes to thinking about or planning for my own happiness. I was raised strictly in a very traditional environment and was taught that selfish was the very worst thing a female could be. Women were meant to help, to fulfill the needs and wants and dreams first of parents, then our husbands, and finally our children and their children. This was instilled in the fiber of my being to the degree that it now feels terribly wrong for me to focus on what I might want or need as an individual. Though I haven’t quite figured out how to overcome years of harsh conditioning, I now know I badly want to know what I want.

    In the past I’ve had similar questions trigger anxiety attacks. At this point, your questions make me draw very uncomfortable mental blanks. I tried to think of myself as another person- a child or a stranger- to get around the problem but somehow I can’t fool the inner conscience guarding my conditioning to be a nurturer, an enabler, a caretaker, a helpmate, but never an independent entity with personal desires. At least I’m aware of the problem and am working on it, which is progress!

  • red

    there are so many things that have been running through my mind all year. Much of that includes self-doubt. I am a very confident young woman. 24. Good looking (not that it matters, just saying). I am one class short from getting a Bachelor’s Degree. My life is at a standstill at the moment. I had a falling with my aunt and uncle who I lived with for a year and a half of college. I truly regret ever moving in with them after living on my own. It was like spiraling backwards. At 23, I was being told to be home by 10. They didn’t understand my job, my library study hours. My community service. When I would go party like twice a month, I’d get the talk. i really regret living there and I believe that is where my independence starts to die. I have always been very independent. Worked since I was 15. Very smart with plenty of scholarships and payed bills, even my moms, at a young age. Haven’t had the best upbringing what with my mom only working 4 months a year and depending on unemployment for the rest of the year, never really wanting or knowing how to progress using “i don’t know how to drive” “i don’t speak english” “we live in the middle of nowhere” “there are no jobs” I mean I am grateful she has raised us, miserably and impoverished, but still she always prioritized a roof over our heads and food to eat, but I totally recent that in 30 years, she hasn’t in the least progressed. Ever since I can remember, she would tell me that when I was old, as in 18yo, I would take care of her and clothe her and feed her, which is fine and totally isn’t what happened, but it pisses me off how dependent that really is. If I was her, I would have learned to drive and driven myself to adult school or something of the sort. What she uses as excuses are sorry excuses, and I’m sorry, but It sucks!

    Okay, so here I am, having gotten kicked out of my uncle’s house because he didn’t like my ex, making my aunt jealous and thinking I was having an affair with this disgusting old man. Which makes me recent her and family altogether. And if you don’t have family, what do you have you know? So I am back in this small town full of underachievers living with my mom because “I can’t afford to live on my own” I am $3k in debt which isn’t much so I am totally paying that off, slowly but surely. (college student mistake, I know). I can’t even afford to pay the $1200 law class I had failed (I had never failed before, but I guess it happens) to get my degree that I worked so hard to earn. And that hurts, you know? All of this has happened, and I feel lost and angry and lonely and miserable and unfulfilled.

    So i started my own business, and my “family” doubts it. And I don’t need to prove them wrong, or do I? I may. But this is where self-doubt comes in. I am full of it. even though when i get in front of my audience, I teach and motivate, when I sit back down, I feel insecure about my leadership. I know I can do it, but I am scared to start I guess. I am scared to sweat and cry and bleed. But it seems I have no choice. Even with a B.A, i don’t really plan on using it after working at NBC and realizing it wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. yet, i don’t feel right not finishing something, you know? I feel like my accomplishments aren’t shit for my family. so that’s why i feel so lonely. If family is supposed to be thee for you, but isn’t, then what do you have. Don’t tell me God, God is love and all, but tangibly, what is there? All I can do is continue with my business, move out, even if I am broke, adversity can either make you or break you right? I guess this is God’s ultimate test. To get out of my comfort zone and make something of myself to later come back and help my mom help herself. I have to lead by example. Ever since I have been at my mom’s, I haven’t left the house but to work out in the garage and run out in the country road. I have never watched so much TV in my life. It’s so lame. I don’t feel mentally challenged. I feel lost and stuck, broke, with no car. But like Jim Rohn says (I will paraphrase) in order to change your circumstances, you must change the cause which is yourself and that may be by leaving your current home, occupation, family, friends. I wish I had someone to talk to about this in person. After breaking up with my ex who was my best friend but who also was dragging me down (he was a very good looking underachiever) I now have no one. I have friends, but I want a best friend.

    if you feel persuaded to reply to this, just share your story with a successful theme, no need for much advice because I do believe I know what I have to do though the idea is dormant at the moment. I am sure if other people read this, they will appreciate not being alone on this.

    Hopefully, there are people who want to share how they have overcome tremendous obstacles

  • GenerationLost

    No that’s a great question. I was wondering this too.. Personally I kind of dislike these type of articles.. They always give me false hope, and never any sense of peace, only more questions and uncertainty.. For example.. My answers for the questions were as follows:

    Q1. Music, Food, Teaching.

    Q2. Nothing.

    Q3. Integrity, Morality, Justice, Compassion, Truth.

    Q4. Be Rich, Be Happy, do nothing all day, and live somewhere warm all year round. Q5. Help people.

    Q6. I don’t admire or idolize anyone.

    Unfortunately that doesn’t tell me much of anything about myself i didn’t already know. and doesn’t help give me any kind of direction.. I am 29 years old.. haven’t worked in about 6 years due to severe anxiety.. Broke off with my ex of 5 years.. Back to living in my parents basement.. No income. No education. Thinking about getting a job and working every day gives me so much anxiety that I start planning out ways to kill myself.. However, my father did that, and the guilt of what it would do to my mother is the only thing that prevents me from following through.

    I desperately want to be normal. I have spoken to numerous Councillors Therapists, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, etc.. and been called an enigma or a personal project more than a few times..

    I am even undergoing Neuro-feedback Training, to try to fix my brain, and that’s having very little results. Which again is puzzling my psychologist.
    ( )

    So really.. any direction or guidance would be appreciated.. Unfortunately, these questions left me in a WORSE state than i arrived in… :(

  • Victoria

    Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

  • Gigi

    Wow i am speechless.I wish you wouldn’t be so lonely because you are a wonderful person and have overcome so much.You are strong and should feel proud of yourself.I got a question for you : Don’t you think it’s time to think about you and not your mum or others like you’ve been doing ? Have you ever asked your mum why you’re the one taking care of her and not the other way around ? What is your business really ? Just know that you are not alone, someone does feel your pain out there and probably went through the same or similar life situation as you…The best advice I could give you is to believe in yourself because that is the one thing that will not let you down.You have done so much, you will do some much more.Start enjoying the simplest things in life like staring at the sunset eating ice cream, taking a long walk in the woods and listening to the sounds of nature, going down a slope on a bike ride or even jumping in poodles with your boots on .You will see life is not that bad and you will get through it.Before you know it , you will move on from the state your in now .Good luck , smile and appreciate the fact that you are powerful young, beautiful and alive woman.

  • Jacq

    Not that i am a psychologist but I felt the need to share some thoughts.
    If the answers you have given feel complete to you, I would consider doing the exercise with someone that helps you elaborate on them. What do you like about music, making it or listening to it, what kind of music?
    But in your case, I would think getting over your anxiety is an essential first step to make. Keep looking for support please!
    And there must have been achievements in your life, right. Did you ask others for input on that one?
    Last thing that comes to my mind is the combi of you wanting to help people and you like teaching. Any chance you can do something with that. Community work or anything?
    Good luck!
    P.S. there is no harm in idolizing anyone, it does not mean that person is better than you are or that you want to be that person, it simply shows he/she has made an achievement you would want to make. Think small, admire the neighbor kid for being carefree or such thing.

  • shreya

    Thanks for sharing this with the world! I am in the same situation these days and just needed to read smthng like this. Really.. THANKS!


  • pit

    and, what should one do, if he is too old to start…

  • Jennifer

    Lady Angler you may have just saved my life. I am 23 years old and graduated at the top of my class in both high school and college and I feel ashamed that I have not landed a high paying job but I know myself enough to know I would absolutely HATE a corporate job. After reading your comment I have to stop being afraid and worrying about what others think and do what makes me happy. Thank you!

  • Stuart Petty

    well this all good and well. We can ask ourselves these questions on a daily basis but do we have the balls really to quit our jobs and start a new life. Where will the money come from? i live on rent and work full time. After taxes, rent and utilities it leaves me a miserable amount of money to live from in this days economy! I live in Finland which has great benefits but great tax percentages also and cost of living here is so expensive. 7 euros for a bar beer and 28 euros for a pack of 24 small beers. carton of milk 1euro, bottle of soda 3-4 euros! clothes are way overpriced. A tiny bag of weed less than one gram and poor quality 20 euros. but i will get a pension when Im 70. i would love to drop it and move to Spain where the red wine flows for 2 bucks a bottle weed is quality and 3 euros a gram. food is affordable to eat a stable diet all week. How will i tell my girlfriend and friends i’m upping and leaving and where will my pension come from when i’m old how can i get a secure job there? well people it sounds great. The reality is that life sucks unless your born into money and have had early life opportunities good schooling. What about the people that dream these thing on a daily basis and have no opportunities to start again?

  • Happy Plants

    This is where I am at in my life. I’m 23, I have a Corporate job in IT (making a fairly descent wage), but………I have a poor family and I am almost forced to live at home because of the cost of living and not being able to move out. My family never has money and always ask me for something. I don’t mind but its to the point where I basically pay all the bills. I am extremely frustrated, because I feel like this situation is holding me back from living my life. Because of this frustration and pain, I work and smoke weed almost everyday, just to ease the pain and make it through the day. I want to get more out of life then just paying bills and getting high! But I don’t know where to start :/

  • Kdun

    This post is truly inspiring to me. I too have been feeling lost. I am having trouble answering these questions.. I feel like I don’t know myself and have no clue what I really want in life.

    I do know people tell me they love being around me due to my positive attitude and compassion. And is something I do admire in others. Just gotta work that into something I love.. I would love to help other people be happy. Just don’t know how to go forth with that at this point.

    Though I am going to devote myself to answering these questions. I know they will help me and to inspire me to work towards a life I want.

  • Vivek

    Very well. Very nice James. So many people were/are feeling same and I am no different. Your article s really nice. Fresh and I guess, I will able to help myself. But yes we need to a bit more pragmatic.

  • Angela

    Hi I’m Italian then I’m sorry for the mistakes. I tried with all my strength to do what I loved..but I’m always at the same point!! I’m wasting the most beautiful years of my life at home because I don’t know where to start. I’m insure and I’m afraid of making mistakes and the judgment of others.What should I do? Please answer me



  • MrTommyB

    Absolutely brilliant post, inspiring without overcomplicating the fact that we are our own future and there IS life outside of a desk job – I will change my life! Thank you x

  • Arthiel

    Dear LadyAngler,
    You seem like someone with a lot of passion and decision power. Use it. My suggestion is instead of looking for a new job WHILE stil hating the old one give this a go:

    1 – Every morning before work think about at least one thing you like about your job and you are thankful for. You know, nothing superfancy, even small things like “I like Jhons cologne and I’m thankful for this pleasant, woody smell” or “I like that thanks to this job I can get my son an awesome gift he always wanted”. Stuff like this. I know it may seem both silly and hard at first. If it does nothing for you after 2 or 3 weeks – just drop it :) Hopefully it will make you like your job a little bit more again and again! It will change your focus.

    2 – Job is overrated! Think how can you put your passions into a business. Quick idea from the top of my head: What if you’d start a “Work-a-holic Re-treats” business? People, just as stressed and burned out like once you, with high-profile jobs and fancy cars would drop that facade for a day or a weekend and under your guidance will learn to fish and about animals and nature. Being outdoors always soothes and opens our hart. You could form an allience with some Meditation expert or Yoga trainer perhaps where you could share your valuable insight into minds of people like you. You seem sensitive to human nature and needs, thats for sure! You would be helping others when they need it the most. You can easily fire a pilot by just inviting people from your job to join you on a weekend like that. If you like it – package it nicely, promote and call it a business. You can do it all just as your after-hours small project at first. :)

    3 – Have Fun!

  • G7Jerusalem

    hi I answered all 6 questions!! What next? What should I do.. how can I help myself??

  • Stuart ‘lucky’ White

    I want to share this and would love anyone to give me a view on this please

    1. What do I absolutely love in life?
    Happiness. family. friends. letting people know how I feel about things. listening to other peoples views on things. traveled some parts of the world that I could only dream of. trusting people. opening up to people.

    2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?
    explored parts of the world. shared my happiness with my family. giving something back to my family after all they have been through. showing my happiness. letting people know who I am. realizing I am a good person

    3. What would I stand for if I knew no one would judge me?
    for what I did to my family also the way my family raised me

    4. If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?
    make people happy so they can share the happiness I have found. world peace and remove all the evil things in this world. not sure where I would want to live but deep down I know I am happy where I am now

    5. What would I do if I had one billion dollars?
    invest on some of it. share it with true family and friends. do the things I have wanted to do that I havent managed to do before. show the world that it is a better place then it seems to be
    6. Who do I admire most in the world?
    people who have fought against the odds and are still standing strong

  • bbante

    Very nice. i got some strength today. I was looking to talk with some one but was afraid to tell it might not be relevant to other person. after reading feels no need. feels better and motivated.

  • Aakash

    My love is cinematography and film making but i don’t have the expensive equipments needed to carry out this passion as I am only a student. So, what should I do? Should I carry on with my passion just with the help of my phone camera or there is no point in carrying on with this thing? I really love cinematograhy from my soul

  • JP

    Thank you very inspirational

  • ssss


  • ssss

    Ok. I’ll take 3 minutes on this questionaire.
    1. what do i love in life? well without the opportunity how do i know? i want to act no luck. i want to invent no luck. i want to own my own company. no luck.
    2. greatest accomplishments mean nothing to owning a company or finding auditions or creating inventions.
    3. if i could get seen by enough people than acting inventing and running a business would be easy. so no one is there to judge. stupid question.
    4. choosing means nothing. getting in the place at the right time and working hard is what matters on this rock. or knowing someone somewhere that can help you.
    5. billion dollars? i would not answer that because people would make even more money off my ideas. also if i had that money i wouldnt be on here commenting
    6. admire? someone did this and did that and went through this and that. what does that do for me exactly? i mean be real people. this is a joke.

  • jkxfbgjkdfbg

    didn’t do anything to me..
    i’m still depressed

  • John Doe

    Now what? I just spent the last 2 hours answering these questions. Great questions by the way. But how do we translate this exercise in action items. I’m 22 years old, ambitious and hope to be moving in the direction toward my “ideal lifestyle”. I was thinking about taking these questions and my answers to a career counselor at school and maybe they could provide some further insight into what my answers actually mean.

  • Rafay Farooq

    I dont understand how these questions can help anyone… I mean, I have all the answers to these questions.

    I know what I love, I know my accomplishments… I can picture where I would stand if nobody is there to judge me. But what diffrence does it make? Everybody is still there to judge and comment on me! I know what I’d want to do and have if my life had no limits, so what if I know? My life still has limits!

    I guess this is what Enstine was trying to teach us. Stop gathering information! I have all the information what I would want to become, and what I would like to have, and what type of life I would like to live. But how do convert this information into knowledge?
    How do I become what I want to be? How do I get away with my laziness and bad habbits? How do I get the job I want? I need the answers to these questions and not those that help me with mere information.

  • Teal

    Question three seems unclear, are these the actually the seven questions? Last time I looked ‘what would you stand for’, and ‘what would you do in your wildest dreams’ don’t mean the same thing. Not to nit-pick — but I will nit-pick.

    Also these seem like questions to successful people who want to have substance in their lives. What if when all you really want are stoic things like love, family and general well-being, but you cannot in any measure achieve such if you are say, unhealthy and/or unattractive? Say if you loved animals and everything to do with, but you were fatally allergic to most of the animal kingdom? (bad example, but moving on)
    What if things that are beyond your control like the fore-mentioned limit your life such that you can do none of the things that would even put you on the path towards success?

    My life wasn’t changed at all. Not because I misinterpreted, or because I’m so stuck-up to understand the text, or to see a way to follow up on it. You just can’t say it’s applicable to everyone like that.

  • liz

    OMG! Everything you just said I’ve said to myself. I refuse to work in corporate america anymore. I have been a 1099 employee trying to find my work passion as well. I completely agree with everything you said and feel the same way myself. I want to quit my life as it is an wander the world exploring new places and meeting new people. I just looked up today about joining the peace corp. And, it would pay for some of my student loan debt too!!! I wish you the best as I am on the same journey. I wish I had someone in life to share the experience with tho!

  • earthling

    James, you are a Godsend! Reading your article totally lifted my spirits this morning, And even better, reading the comments that your readers have left lifted my spirits twice as high. Look what you have done for all these people just by being yourself and sharing that with others.
    Whatever it is that makes you tick, keep winding it!! Everything you said strikes home in a way that people should with each other.

  • Words

    Where abouts in Finland do you live? Not the experience I’ve known…. So I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

  • Words

    A mixed response in the comments I see. I’ve read the article and I love it. I just need to actually do it….damn procrastination. But I am determined to do this and progress my life. I did quit my shit job this week though…First step? I hope so!

  • jo

    I read this today because of how lost i feel in my life. I feel lost i feel lonely and today decided i need to change my life. On the outside i come across as happy smiley but on the inside i feel lost lonely and as if i have no purpose. Good read and will be going through the six points .

  • Jenny

    Reading this posts really makes me wonder what and how much can I do with my age, Im only 20 and Im pretty much confused what life has to offer for me. I have a job, loving family and friends and no boyfriend. I mean, how life can be more adventurous for me? I will find answers. Thanks for this post;

  • Lucid-Dreamer

    What If I don’t have an answer to any of these questions? What If I don’t know what I enjoy in life? I can’t figure myself out… I feel trapped with a stranger and that stranger is myself. 22 year old female with a 1 year old son and I have no idea what I am doing or who I even am… Where do I start?

  • arun

    i am a btech holder in ec and working in electrical on contract basis and i dont know what to do next

  • Beth

    I’m 53 and feeling exactly the same as you. My stomach churns as I drive in to work. It’s very hard to come to terms with the fact that after years of hard work to get a ‘decent’ job, you find yourself hating that job. The only answer I’ve come up with so far, is to go part-time. I’ve had to make financial sacrifices, but now at least I’m only miserable 3 days a week instead of 5! The rest of the time I spend as much time outdoors as I can. I’m still searching for viable alternatives – I have to earn at least as much as I’m earning now before I can quit my job, and I need to stick it out for another 18 months for the minimum pension (still won’t be enough to live on), because the thought of old age without any income is too scary to contemplate. I would be so interested to hear if you managed to find a solution.

  • Gara

    I am confused, but I can stop being confused. I am under a lot of stress but I can also stop that and I’m not as happy as I would like to be but I can change that too. My point is you need stress and confusion and you totally need to do things that you don’t like so that you can appreciate when one day you finally do something that you do like. We need pain, we need love and we definitely need everything that can be found in life. Love , stress , happy , sad , crying , smiling , being nervous and being stupid…etc these are the things that you can have in life, life is about all that not just happiness or just crying. Life is everything that we have, lots of times we need pain to realize the facts, after all it’s only pain that makes us feel completely alive nothing else, that’s why when you are just too happy and you have everything you ever wanted you always sleep with one eye open thinking you wake up and all is lost and it was all just a lovely dream and I do not want to live a dream, I want the real thing, I want life, I choose life. That’s why we are all here to live and use the information that we have to do a better job than the ones before us. It’s got nothing to do with you being happy or doing something that you want, you can never run away from your destiny, what’s written for you is exactly what you are going to get brother, and there’s nothing you or anyone can do about it. You have already been assigned for a role to play, you can either take it or leave it, I wouldn’t recommend leaving it though but what do I know I’m only 22 and my motto “Always go through, don’t go around, DO NOT GO AROUND”.

  • Joice

    I’ve just turned 18 and from a young age I knew I was different from other people around me. I’ve always been open minded, accepting towards other and non judgmental. I converted to Buddhism at 16 after a battle with depression which really helped me view life in a different prospective. Anyhow recently I have been feeling hopeless especially in regards to some of the things happening in the world like the war in Syria, I also read an article in which a man got suspended from work for saving a wheelchair user who fell into some train tracks. I no longer have faith in humanity, and I truly fear for our future. Talking of the future I still have no idea what I truly want to do with mine although everyone is pressuring me to make a decision. To cut a long story short this article really made me feel at ease and helped me realize that I must first discover who I am before deciding what to do with my life. However how realistic is this? At 18 with no money and a future of student debt what can I really do to be happy?

  • Jane

    My thoughts are with you, I had something to post but in short, I wish you the best, don’t be afraid of change. Live how you want to live, not to the expectations of others. Take your life into your own hands, it is never too late :)

  • EvilCinema

    so this always comes back to money…

  • Guest

    What if I can’t find any answer to questions 3, 4 and 5? I’m completely lost! I’ve spent about an hour pondering these questions and have no ideas. I’m 28 and have tried to answer such questions like these throughout my 20s but to no avail. This had led to depression and a lack of career and general life direction. Now I understand no one can answer these for me but what do people suggest when faced with this reality? The depression is situational from the very fact I don’t know what I want in life – not a clue! This is not due to inertia however – I have three degrees, worked at some highly regarded companies and had a published research paper. I only state this so you’re aware of the fact I have tried and experienced a number of different paths. Thoughts are very welcome :)

  • Guest

    What if I can’t find any answer to questions 3, 4 and 5? I’m completely lost! I’ve spent about an hour pondering these questions and have no ideas. I’m 28 and have tried to answer such questions like these throughout my 20s but to no avail. This had led to depression and a lack of career and general life direction. Now I understand no one can answer these for me but what do people suggest when faced with this reality? The depression is situational from the very fact I don’t know what I want in life – not a clue! This is not due to inertia however – I have three degrees, worked at some highly regarded companies and had a published research paper. I only state this so you’re aware of the fact I have tried and experienced a number of different paths. Thoughts are very welcome :)

  • Ajay

    I m 17 but my life is fkin shit .I cant live my life properly that I want. what can I do please help me

  • PG

    If you had lived a simple life as you described…you probably would have been longing for a stable life…fancy car…big salary…and a dream house…You have the resources to change your lifestyle……. you can take a long vacation….and do all the things you mentioned …but if you really were what you want to be right now…and you wanted otherwise….it would be pretty hard for you to have all those things at 50 and provide for your son in today’s time of consumerism .!
    I would kill to have your life…and then sort things out…I’m telling you this because I’ve been poor all my life…spiritual gratification is a LUXURY for us….!

  • Leigh

    I’m 17, just graduated,and in college doing my liberals. I’m glad I found this. I currently have so many options within myself that I just don’t know what the heck to do with my future and it scares me. It makes me scared to see my peers knowing what they want to do and im just here stuck and still guessing. I have plenty of time to explore but I wanna graduate on time and have a good job that i’ll love in the future.

  • Hamad

    I really would love to change my life. I’m 20 years old from Dubai and I study in college right now. I don’t study what I love, Im studying IT now and I would like to study art and be an artist, but the culture and the people I live with thinks that Art is not a career and its not way of living. and I don’t have the courage the express my self with my art.
    sorry for my english.

  • lewis

    i would be grateful for the fact of having a job, not to say you cant be miserable while eemployed, of course! but you have the ability to change yr work place and enviroment. i have been unemployed for a long time apart from the occasional bit of part time work and find my self completely miserable, i have no routine in my life and i know this is what is making me deppressed but i dont seem to be able to pull myself out of this hole. i dont seem to be able to even find pleasure in the time i do have to myself, and thats alot of time atmo, i feel useless and even though reading things like yr posts can temparily change my state of mind i dont seem to follow things through.i had a good well paid job a house, but due to circumstances cant go back to to that type of work, im 35 and my daughter is now 13 she spends every weds and every other wknd with me i dont want her growing up with the useless bum i feeel iam as a dad, im lost…… to help!????

  • …..

    This is just increadible, I never comment on any article or post but I just had to only first point was enough to remind me meaning of my life again, thanks.

  • Confusedguest

    I find the 6 questions difficult to answer personally. I do not know what I wanted. I do not know how to answer these questions. After a painful relationship with my ex which ultimately made me impulsively quit from my teaching job (which I also hate doing), I lost everything at 36. I am unemployed for almost a year now because I couldn’t figure out what I want to do. I have no car, no money, no job. I have exhausted all my savings moving from one city to another. I am just lucky I have a sister who is there to provide me food and shelter and moral support and who continues to pray that I will find my place in this world.I want to be independent and be on my own again and I really hope I will be able to find out the purpose of my existence and discover what will TRULY make me happy.

  • kimertz

    Thank you very much. It helped a lot with my current state of mind.

  • Mrs M

    LadyAngler.. you
    are not alone. You are at age of 50, I am 33 years old. I have travelled the
    world, lived in three different countries, had and having a great carrier, high
    position in company…. but my heart is somewhere else. Everyday I am stumbling
    my toes over signs from “universe” that I should have change my life. My health
    is getting worst, my 3 years old son is seeing me less and less. I am tired of
    all this. I hate to fight every day.

    So I decided I
    have to change. I made long term plan. As we all have financial commitments we
    can’t simply change things from one day to another. But small change can help.
    Working in high tech industry in top management where are only men sitting around
    me (sorry there is still strong men dominated world where women must prove we
    are as good as men ) I learn one thing. I can change my life when I really
    want. When I can manage projects worth of millions of euro, I must be able to
    manage my life and change my life to my benefit and benefit of my family. So I traveled back years, to my youth dreams,
    what I wanted to do, what makes me smile when I think about it. And I am pursuing my dream. Step by step.
    Problem is that I want to rush time and be there now which isn’t possible. But I
    know I can make it. I will take herbalism business after my father, have selfsustainable
    farm where I am not depended from The System, I will help with my herb teas and
    remedies and massages to those who need
    it but mainly, I will save myself and my family. Because I will be part of my
    family, not only member who walks home when children are asleep and husband
    bored flipping channels on TV. I hope you manage to do small changes in your life
    which will make huge effect at the end.

  • Boost

    Hey there Happy Plants, you sound a little like me…having family ties that tie you down. I no longer live at home but I’m heavily depended upon by immediate family and I don’t have the time to sort out my own life because I’m spending most of my time sorting out theirs. The money you spend on weed, save it and watch how much it grows – you’ll be surprised at how much money you save. Take that money and enjoy your life – take trips abroad with friends, meet new people and have acquaintancies in other countries where you can visit….you never know, it could lead to a better job abroad. IT is global and can take you places. There is more to life than staying in smoking weed…I was around your age when I started smoking and missed a lot of great opportunities because of it. Have a goal and aim for it. I didn’t have any goals at your age…I was happy in my menial clerical job, earning enough to go out with the girls, go on holidays, getting my own place, etc. I’m now 38 and have just made the decision to give up smoking. I’ve been trying for the last 8 yrs and it’s bloody hard let me tell you! Trust me honey, time flies from the age of 30. Start now. It’s had to ignore family, especially when you live with them. Take an evening course to further your education and work your way up. Don’t settle for what you have now. When you’ve scaled the ladder you’ll then be in a better position to help your loved ones. Go for it girl!

  • joe

    When you are drowning, you would even cling to a straw. I am glad i found a boat to cling to. Thanks.

  • flintlockx

    i am 18 years old….i think of my life so far is a wierd one, i have a nice family, a great house, great friends but i think about things, more than anyone els i know, stuff like polatics, science, the universe, death, life, magic, the world and more….each time i think about theese things, i feel sick to my stomach…i demand answrs but no one will help, man, women, dog, plant or god…i have asked them all the questions nd none have given me the answers…am i just crazy?…or have i missed something….

  • Gabby

    Hamad I understand exactly where you are coming from. The question you need to ask yourself is who are you living for? You should do the things that make you happy in life or you will feel unfulfilled. If you don’t want to change your major you can always do a minor in what you love. It would be sad to give up your dreams because of the expectations of others

  • bobo the chimp

    problem is i dont give a shit about anything SOOO much, that these questions feel like everything my therapist asked me. my ideal lifestyle? if i knew i wouldnt be looking for answers online and paying for stupid therapy.

  • Down

    Question. What if you already doing what makes you happy in life but it seems like that one thing that makes you happy is not smiling back at you? I mean, I guess we all know that sometimes even if you are really working hard to achieve that happiness that you want in life but you still don’t get any success. Worst, it pulls you down and until you hit rock bottom. When you will know if you need to give up and stop the pursuit to your happiness? I think I need help. Please. HELP. Thanks!

  • Anthony Haruki

    What a fantastic blog! Lots of great questions to spark those thoughts. I think often when we ask “what should i do in life?” we’re hoping an answer will be given to us. Truth is, the only way to figure it out is to DO THINGS. Have a go at this that and everything. Get out of our comfort zone. If something sparks our flame, do more of it.

    And, I’ve certainly learnt the hard way… If you hate your job. Quit. Happiness and health is worth 50x more than the money. Ask any retired person what he regrets most.. Do you think they will answer ‘I wish I’d worked more doing what I didn’t enjoy’?

  • Aguythatisreallyconfused

    Hi , Ive tried my best to answer these questions , and i have, plus i have gone over it 100 times , but im still not sure what to do in mylife , i have no job and the moment and no money ,I was in the army for 6 months when i was supposed to stay 15 months , but i got out early because i was having psychological problems and im pretty sure that my parents do not have any pride in me , Im just really confused i actually do not know what makes me happy in life and what i really want to do with my life , I guess i dont know who i am ,

    Can anyone please give me some advice ,please just give me some help me

  • Marcel McGyver

    I wish you the “Best of Luck” in finding ANY light that will hopefully lead you out of your blatant Darkness of a Life right now. I know I am a young adult at the age of 24, but coming from a person who has really bad ADHD and constantly shuts himself out from the outside world, life in general sucks! Nothing lasts forever, nothing!!!!! I have been the nice guy since day one to almost every person that I have ever met and in return I RARELY get that same generosity back. I want to make others happy to the point where I don’t care if I am as long as they are. I have come to the conclusion that it is NEVER MANDATORY to make sure others are HAPPY! Just being a good person and most of all making yourself HAPPY is crucial to not living a life in a place that seems like an abyss. PITCH BLACK. Complaining never seems to do any good in the long run. I have learned that it is much better to just take things how they are and avoid unnecessary altercations with others unless your life is threatened in some way. Other than that I personally don’t see any need to join or create a hostile environment. In conclusion LadyAngler, life is what it is all a person can do is make the best of it. Even if “the best of it” isn’t good or appealing. Good Luck!!!

  • MCM

    Pray that God reveals Himself to you. You have a plan that you are missing out on. No one should answer the questions like you did. You can do great things!

  • Name

    What do you do if you don’t know the answers to any of these questions? I don’t like to bitch because I see so much hurt in the world every day. I truly do try to count my blessings…but I feel like I’m smothering. I have 2 degrees. Each one has driven me further into debt. Maybe the debt wouldn’t be so incredibly crushing if I enjoyed the roles that they led me to, but I don’t. I’ve tried to look for something else. I’ve tried to find my place in the community where I can come home and feel like I’ve done something good. Like I’ve accomplished something for someone or something else. I still haven’t. It’s been more than 10 years and I haven’t. I know many people reading this will think that’s nothing in the scheme of things, but it is to me. And now, it especially is to me since I have such a hard time getting up in the morning. I don’t want my daughter to grow up with a mother who is so pessimistic and so boring that she becomes that way herself. So…I Googled, “What do I really want to do with my life.” Pathetic really, but I’m so lost. I came upon this website. I read each question. I contemplated. I failed. I have no idea. So what do you do if you don’t know the answers to any of these questions? I hope someone can tell me.

  • Stephanie

    I’m 19 and all my life I’ve been the “perfect daughter, niece, granddaughter, sister, friend, person…” and I hate it. I’ve always had the highest grades, I was the top in my class, the best friend anyone could have, the best daughter and sister, the best at almost everything… and because of that all my family and everyone that knows me expects me to achieve everything, be good, be great.. and I hate it. I hate it when people expects so much of me because it creates a pressure over me, like if I fail they will be disappointed. I feel like I’m living my life for them and not for myself. I don’t feel happy with what I’m doing and it all feels forced. Right now I don’t know what to do with my life, I don’t know if the things I’m doing I’m doing them because I want to or because it is what is expected of me… I want to do the things I like but the problem is I don’t even know what I truly like… I feel like I don’t even know myself. I know I’m young and I have time to discover myself but I’m scared… I’m scared because what if I don’t get to know myself soon? What if I keep living my life not knowing me and then when I reach 40 or 50 I realize I had a miserable life? I don’t know what to do with my life and with myself and that scares me…

  • Buzzkill

    what do you when you answer these questions and they are nothing like your life? or are impossible to change your life to fit your answers? what if the question cant be answered?

  • Jake Ringenberg

    dis cool dis cool

  • Jake Ringenberg

    duuuuude keep us updated! don’t continue to live that way!!

  • Onadia Valentine

    I’m 27 years old and only this past year have I started to ask myself these questions without even knowing it, reading this article today blew my mind.

  • sαmαnthα

    At 17, I haven’t got a clue what i want. i have a passion for theatre arts and all i want is to see new things, to travel. i’m searching for a peaceful mind but i already feel like my soul’s down in the dumps. so many things that i’d like to change but i’m somehow chained to them. i’ve always been one to choose what i want but that’s all i do, choose. i need to start doing and maybe then… love this post!

  • momoq18

    First for this to work I think you need to get rid of the negativity. Watch you can heal your life by louis hay.

  • momo

    i like it ^_^

  • stephanie

    I have been googling such phrases as “how to start over” “how to change your life” I am so unhappy. I wasn’t always unhappy. I look in the mirror at 46 years old and don’t recognize myself. At 20, At 30 I was gorgeous, not a perfect body but pretty close. After having my son and being a single parent with the challenges that came with that I put on weight (my own fault) I turned to food for comfort and to numb so many things that have happened over the past 15 years. If you told the 18 or 25 or 30 year old me that some day you will weight 250 pounds I would have laughed at you. I need to stop eating! I am so unhappy though and lonely and feel so overwhelmed with the amount of weight I have to lose that I give up. I want to change things around so badly, not just my weight but my attitude towards life, my lack of energy and my overall unhappiness, I want to have energy and happiness and I know that starts from within I just don’t know how to get there. Can anyone relate at all? I guess I am sharing because I would love to connect with and know I’m not alone. Thanks for reading.

  • espemg7

    @happy plants- don’t give up on mary jane. moderation is key to everything in life. take a break from smoking for a couple weeks. thats what I do and the next time I smoke the high is sooo much better. Herb is a beautiful plant -treat it with respect and moderation and it will help you with your stressful thoughts. And it makes living in this crazy consumerism striken world, and afterthought.

    i am much like “lady angler” above (albeit prob not as wealthy). I plan on making my life self sustainable and starting an adverture based company that offers products to people to better that will better their lives and enable them be less reliant on the carbon producing manufacturers/big corporations that have ruined ALL of our mindsets. Our overall wellbeing as humans should not be dictated to us by supervisors or managers. Start your own business – even if you have to keep your day job. I hope to have you on my farm someday! Good luck to everyone!

  • espemg7

    @stuartpetty – I am from the debt stricken good ol USA. I want to move to Spain too for the similar reasons you mentioned. I am left with little after my paycheck gets redirected to BILLS !! arrggg. Would it not be great if all of us who felt this way could unite globally and create our own communities with our own grown food and have our own businesses to to proud to be part of?!?! Just know Stuart that you are not alone in your thoughts – stay strong man!

  • espemg7

    have you tried marijuana?

  • espemg7

    @stephanie-try to focus on how much of a hot ass you were in the past. remember the times when your sex life was so damn good. forget exercise for now..that will come. really try moderation with your food. I skip the traditional breakfast and lunch and snack several times a day to keep my motor running. breakfast for me is a banana and ceral bar but not til about 9 or 10am. around lunch i might snack on nuts or another fruit but I avoid eating the bigger lunches (aka subway crap etc). maybe around 3 I snack on something else. My big meal is dinner (which isn’t big but way more than what I ate all day) trust me you will feel hunger pains BUT unfortunately that is what is needed to burn the excess fat in your body. I have lost about 75 lbs and am now at about 200. I am a male but but trust me each day when I looked in the mirror and every day I got on the scale I would see 1lb or 2lb’s drop. Circling back to my first comment about recalling your tight ass and smoking body – that will keep your “drive” going. Personality is everything no matter how much you weigh. good luck sweetie.

  • Someone

    I’m 20 years old and I’m in my 3rd year of college in the biology field. To be quite honest, I’m miserable. But other than study, I don’t know what I really want to do with my life.

  • stuartpetty

    Hello espemg7, maybe its not so much of a struggle in life but a struggle with myself ;/

    Thats a great idea espemg7 ) I feel you man..

    Free love and lots of mushrooms. LOL Not Quite Haha..

    I could make a new start with some more commitment. saving and planning could be a key figure. a good long look in the mirror….i have to learn how to get what i want from my life. no more wasting money and a healthier lifestyle are all thing i recently took into account, i have been training home and the gym now a month. after a broken ankle and 2 months on the sofa i really needed it, i started to like it and like myself also, dropped beer and caffeine started on water by the daily recommended amount. Im annoyed at the baks ,economy and conglomerate companies, keeping hard working honest people in the same classes with criminals for a few small mistakes !!

    Im English originally and ended up staying in Finland for a woman, My parents are loving but not helpful finically as they don’t really have the dough, and i wasn’t the greatest child. occasional slip ups with the law, petty crimes… bullied at school, well with this name.. did 4.5 years as a chef in the British Army. I work as a chef still but as a head chef for good money by the industry standards. i want my own business and my own restaurant but just cant seem to grip the capital or any investors . Spain would be easier than Finland to start up but anyway i need 20,000 get go money… or just pack my bag and piss off to the beach and eat the fruits that just grow everywhere in this paradise….

  • cyndi

    Ladyangler my hubsand is going through the same thing (and lets be honest me too) every morning before he goes to work he throws up. He has been doing this since he started working there 4 years ago. I have tried everything to help him but I am failing. I thought he was the only one that did that. I wish I could help him but he’s so darn stubborn and he just thinks it’s over. I have to share this article with him and hope it helps. Might even buy the book and see if he will read it (probably not) good luck to you and may you find the peace and happiness you deserve

  • Liz

    Did anyone respond to your post ? I read your post, and I am exactly in the same position you are in … but worse since I will be 50 this year and I still struggle with these questions that I really can’t answer. At this point I am terribly afraid of coming to the end of my life and never feeling like I have made any contribution , or been of service to the world . Since I have no children of my own ( I do have an amazing 16 year old step son), I have even more regrets ,because I feel that raising kids to become good, kind ,loving , caring people is a great contribution to the world.
    I have lots of interests and passions, but I don’t know how to make the first move into something different. All I really know is that I need to make a change !!!

  • brina

    Im 19… Doing nothing meaningful, I know I’m young but it needs to happen now. Something fulfilling my life. I feel I need to be in Asia or Japan, anywhere, as an avid learner. I could have all this potential.i can’t find the motivation to keep up with it or the first step or people to meet to motivate me and feel them on a personal level.. Reading this is helping the push.. I guess I want it easy, someone to tell me this is what you can do to be happy. Go here, do this, try this, and take it from there.

  • Dewet

    im currently in a path which did not work out for me, i worked my ass off and did not succeed, it was like my whole life plan fell apart, im currently on the verge of taking the road left or right? but what if its neither? i guess i dont know myself, well life is a journey for me, maybe to much of a journey, how did i lose myself and where do i look for myself, do i pick up the pieces or do i adapt to change? thoughts?

  • Dewet

    im also constantly being told what to do, i just dont know whats right for me, although we all dont know where we might be over the next 5-10 years , id still like to have a plan, i know sound messed up, well atleast i admit im messed up, and i couldnt give a damn abou society and what everyone thinks…

  • Martin257

    Did I get depression because i was unhappy studying IT in university. I finished it but I couldn’t focus to do the work and the result showed that. Now what, i am taking flying lessons and doing a skydive but i want a good job short term. Do i still try to get a job in IT or am i out of luck in this field. My greatest fear is that my dream lifestyle cannot be attained and i will spend eternity unhappy and unfulfilled. I would like to write, be a pilot, historian and astronomer. Oh and do adventurous activities such as sky diving in my spare time. Let’s just think; did i leave anything out? Now it is obvious that IT is boring and has no place in ideal scenario. So now what? I feel like i am at a crossroads and feel like a failure with no way out. I cannot take action on these questions because I am scared of failure and humiliating myself again.

  • Amanda

    I at my wits end! I have a father who drains me emotionally! I’m in a job I hate (working with my parents) a single mum with three kids. My kids ar amazing and im so proud but I feel lost. I feel in 8 years time when they will all be adults I will have nothing. No partner no career no future! I have no idea where to start

  • Ms.Giggles

    I was un-happily working in the corporate world and then decided that I wanted to do what I love. So I quit my job and began traveling around and street performing(singing). Now I am stuck 2,000 miles away from friends and family, broke, alone, frustrated and super stressed. I’ve been “following my dream” for almost 3 months now, and I feel depressed now. What would I do if I had a billion dollars after traveling and buying houses? Nothing. I have lots of things I love to do, like singing, but I don’t want to HAVE to do them. Any advice? I’m not lazy, I just really don’t want to do the things I love for money. It makes me not like doing them anymore.

  • David

    I like to make money but have no money what am I to do

  • Calle

    If you are fortunate enough to have a job even a soul sucking hateful one keep it and shut up. I made the mistake of speaking up about things that were wrong and how they could be done better. It cost me my job. Now I can’t support my family or even afford to be alive. Things can only get worse by thinking you deserve more. Learn from my mistake keep your head down and get to work.

  • babylaughter

    Thanks! Answering the questions was very helpful! I questioned if making the daily sacrifices I make is worth it. When I answered the question about “If I had a billion dollars…” I realized the risks and sacrifices are worth it because it’s what I feel passionately enough about that I wouldn’t quit even if I won a billion dollars.

  • rah

    I answered the questions on this post. The life i want to live though seems like a dream, i wish to travel the world and meet people and help others. However, i have no idea how to take the first steps to acheiving that. Luckily im 19 and still have time to figure myself out, but like others im stuck with no idea of what i want to do. Im pretty antisocial as well, and i cant figure out why it seems like nothing goes my way. My cousin is a workaholic because he aspires the same things as me and works his ass off now so that whens hes 30-35 he’ll have his wealth and energy to have the freedom to do what he likes and inspire change. The difference between me and him though is that i lack the drive, the motivation, it all seems too hard, stressful, and i guess in some ways im afraid to move out into the world. i have the time and ability to make changes in my life yet i cant seem to pull myself together to do so. i just smoke weed most of the day to get through, but im starting to realize im getting nowhere. The posts on this page have really opened my eyes to the fact that im not alone here, and you have all given me something to think about. If there was anyone im my situation howd you start that first step?

  • Harmony

    I really like your post. I am the same age and I was laid off from work a year ago. Struggling to decide what I need to do with my life.Not short term but long term. You have a positive attitude and I know you will make it. You were strong/smart enough to get where you are today. You will be able to simplify your life.

  • Jelger & Tanja

    This post made me feel happy! :) We are living the dream: left our jobs as lawyer and physio, moved to the other side of the world and became wedding photographers. Once you start, the ball starts to roll faster and faster and before you know it, you’re a different person. :)

  • Justin

    Great article James, A lot of simple questions but it took me over 3 hours to answer each of them in honest detail. I found this article because I was actually looking for an article or video on how to find your true purpose in life. I don’t know why people are getting really upset or frustrated about there jobs when in reality their are people way less fortunate that would love a job but they either have some kind of disability or they lack the skills and education to get a job. Look for something that you do like about your job just as somebody already mentioned below. The key to happiness in life is gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, that way it will make it easier to achieve so much more in life.

    Anyway, I found the 4th and 5th question quite challenging to answer but I answered each one as honest and exactly how I felt. I came up with a few answers that I feel came straight from the heart instead of what I taught might be the kind of lifestyle than most people wold love. If your not sure about what your passionate about, what inspires you,what you would do for free because it makes you feel alive inside when your do it, ask yourself what movies you enjoy and why? What music your enjoy and why? Do you have a role model if so what do you admire about them? What do you think about often, or hobbiy or interest you like to engage in often? Whatever it is digg a little deeper into your personality and you will learn so much about who you are.

    If anybody has ever read success principles by Jack Canfield. in his book he makes it easy to discover how to achieve your goals – Big or Small and finding your true purpose in life.

    Anyway wishing everyone the best of luck!

  • Michael

    As great as these questions are, I still feel as though I’d lose the drive to do better down the line. I may only be 21 but I’ve had my share of bad luck. I was never really noticed in High School. Nor was I really noticed in the grades prior so I’ve always felt some what invisible. I barely graduated when I was through because I always tried socializing with fellow classmates more than focusing on my life ahead. Due to this I failed my first semester of college because I’m so lost. I’m paying back the money I used for the semester and working in a job where I just deal with people who are unhappy with their lives. I’m afraid to fail again. I want to better because deep down somewhere I know I CAN do better but I just get pulled back down. I love learning. I love making others feel good. I love music. I love Nature. I love too many things to pinpoint what I want to do fo the rest of my life. I’m sick of being in the category of people that are lost. I honestly feel like I shouldn’t be here in the first place. What do I do in a situation like this? What steps do I take? My family just pats me on the back and says “Don’t worry you’re not the only one in the world that’s going through this” but that isn’t guidance. I’ll treat these questions like they’re the bible if I have to. Are these really enough?

  • David

    If my answer to all of those question is nothing, or I would give it away or nothing again……should I reach the afterlife

  • Bebas


    I am doing a job in Hospitality industry (Sales) from last 2years, but form last few months i don’t have any work to do in the office. i am so much dipressed, nothing is going good in my life. My collegues has so much work to do i am the only one in my office who is totally free…. My boss is taunting me what are you doing, you have nothing to do. Please help me how can i get out from this situation

  • anu

    i did answered to all 6 questions ..but i am not getting to what exactly i want to do ahead .. in life .. eventhough am happy & content with present .. but feel like lacking a goal ?.this makes me anxious or worrying especially on weekends…

  • Sadgirl

    I love this article, thank you so much! I have answered the questions, now what? I was following my passion until I went to University. I am enrolled in my passion but since starting University I do nothing but cry from sadness, grief, disillusionment, fatigue, stress, painful comments from “art” teachers (man they are mean! Art can be so snobby)…it’s not photography that’s made me feel crap, it’s being at Uni. What’s the next step, apart from realizing how desperate unhappy and depressed I feel? I love photography so I don’t even know what it is about Uni that makes me feel like I want to quit. All I do is cry. But how can that be when I am studying my passion? I really don’t understand what’s going on.

  • hey

    I’m 20, and all my answers to these are about celebrities and movies and pop culture in general, which I find sad…great, I’m depressed now! I have nothing!!!

  • Gully

    This is indeed inspiring. Thank you so much.. you inspired me and im from Iraq.

    Best of luck to everyone :)

  • ace

    What an awesome business idea

  • Guest2

    I`m in a very similar situation….totally lost and unable to find answers to the questions asked in this post. I got my degree, have worked in highly regarded positions in companies throughout the world but none of it is making me happy. I recently quit my job because it was causing me to become so depressed. Leaving helped a little but I still have no idea what direction to take now. I don`t want to return to a similar role again but financial situation may force me to if I don`t find an alternative soon. I feel like I have lost all the drive and motivation I once had. Working in the corporate world seems to have knocked any self-esteem I may have had out of me. Pleading to anyone who has the answers to give me advice on a way out of this misery.

  • Guest

    Sadgirl, that sounds like such a similar experience to what I had in art school. I loved art my entire life, had the *worst* experience in art school, and came out the other end HATING art. (It sounds like you still love photography, though, so you’re better off than I was.) Anyway, long story short, my biggest regret in life was that I didn’t quit. I am still paying the consequences 5 years after graduating…shattered confidence, PTSD…it’s bad.

    My advice: seriously, seriously consider a different way. You can still achieve the same goal thru a different path, whether that be a different school w/more supportive faculty, taking online classes to develop your portfolio, etc. There are ways to learn art in a constructive way, not a destructive way… (Why don’t these teachers realize they are not helping when they are so harsh with people who are just learning?)

    If it is truly as painful for you as it was for me, consider taking a break to figure out a healthier way to go about this, and consider that you might actually be suffering from depression and not know it (I was, after all the unbearable stress and horrible comments.) See a counselor (a career counselor AND a mental health professional to see if you’re depressed), get another perspective. If that counselor doesn’t help, find another. Keep searching. Don’t do what I did and push through the pain. It did NOT pay off in the end. It made things so much worse. Good luck…I hope you find a happy solution!

  • NewDreamer

    I cant believe I have only just found this post! I’m 36 and have never felt happy with my life. The article above by James has made me think much more in the correct direction. The last time I was truly happy with my existence was back when I was 23. I had just left university and was in my dream job. However, an illness took my dream away and I left that career having only spent 1 year doing it. I now live a life I never dreamt I would have and have felt wrong doing so now every since. If I had only not been afraid of what others thought of me during my youth then I would have now been at the top of my game, living the life I dreamt of all those years ago. Today is a new day for me, I want my eyes wide open and do feel more positive in finding what I truly deserve. Good luck to everyone who reads and participates in this blog. I never believed there were others feeling like me until I read all your posts today ….

  • Aphrodite

    Thank you. x

  • Bad Habits

    These questions really did bring out many answers that I have been seeking for a year already. My story is not much and Im only 16 but I made poor decisions all over for the past year. until recently, when I got sick of it all. I had a great life and was a smart kid when I was 14 but as I became 15 I met some new friends. Not knowing they would influence me into trying drugs. well it was more of a cigarette but I loved the feeling so I moved onto weed. I became a chronic stoner and started doing drugs like cocaine and acid. sometimes doing multiple drugs at the same time. I didn’t notice that I became oblivious to almost everything happening around me in reality. I lost almost all my friends and the trust of my family. Almost everyone I know hates me because I did drugs and my school grades are a mess. I feel depression everyday and only have one happy day like once a week, I kept it to myself because I knew it was my fault. I lost a lot of the money I have earned working over summer to destroying my own health and I feel like my mind will never work the same way it use to. I basically lost all the things that made me happy because I wasn’t true to myself when I made the choices. I wanted to be cool but in the end I was the fool. As I was saying, I got sick of it all and started forcing myself to change and it slowly is working. I would like to thank you for posting this because this did influence my change in a greater way. It actually helped me clarify what I really want and the things I dont need. Thanks again! :) Oh and if there is anyone who took the time to read this; There is always a chance for change, If you truly desire it and put work into it. You can achieve change. Please dont give up like i did during the worst year of my life so far lol..

  • stuck in life

    sorry LadyAngler but i think you should appreciate more what you actually have. I understand your situation but you at least HAVE a great job and a fancy car and you need not worry all the time about money. I don’t have this, though i’ve worked my ass off as much as anybody else in life. I don’t have a family, I don’t have a great career, I have huge stresses daily regarding money and I don’t feel any love neither for myself nor for others. The truth is that the hardest thing in life is finding your path – what you really want to do. I’ve never been able to decide, and if you don’t decide, years slip by and nothing happens eventually. Start focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have, that might help a bit.I understand you feel overwhelmed and sorry for yourself, i feel too, but complaining will not help eventually, you need to refocus. Besides, in the end we all die anyway, so better make something out of this, right?

  • Monte Kombi

    Still didn’t help me. I should have guessed what 6 things you were going to list and written them before I read them.

  • Monte Kombi

    I was doing and finished two degress in science and engineering, then went travelling for two years because I knew I didnt want that corporate career path or even taste it, I had already tasted it with the Uni grooming and my private school grooming. After two years of driving around the country meeting people I still didn’t find what I was looking for you know why? Because the people in any area you want to go into are all brainwashed into that same corporate system, its impossible to move without it being over you but you either move inside it or it rolls over you in the poverty class and being amongst the poverty class was depressing.
    So then I went and did a masters in business systems and started thinking of ways to start companies on a shoe-lace. Then I was being hit by bureaucracies the same. So then I got on a MTB and rode up Cape York, Australia for two months alone all the way to the most northern tip and took a photo of my unhappy face in front of the sign that says, “This is the most northern point of Australia”, and still I couldn’t find what I was looking for.
    I never found happiness until I finally one day fell in love with a woman and was waking up every night with her in my arms. And then she left me. So I knew happiness, that feeling, for about 1 month where I felt safe and then found out she was having an affair the whole time and that everything had been in my mind.
    So then I realised everything IS in my mind, even my ability to be happy.
    Fact is I will never be happy. One day I will just be dying and think, “What a crap life that was and life is.”

  • Victoria

    I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m 23, i haven’t been to University and i don’t have any degrees under my belt. I finished High School with the intent of taking a ‘gap year’, well that year soon turned into 5 years.

    I worked in a Jewellery store and worked my way up some what and for the most part enjoyed my job. Retail isn’t the best industry in terms of pay, and hours, but It has it’s good points. I loved the fact that while my friends were studying and stressing about Uni and assignments i could go home after work, switch off and do nothing if i felt inclined. I never felt like i was missing out…until now. Now all my friends have graduated and have degrees and jobs which sound amazing. It’s all i read about on Facebook and it makes me feel worse about myself.

    I have no idea what i want to do with my life. I don’t have any hobbies, or amazing talents. There are things i like doing, a few things I’m ‘not bad’ at. But nothing that stands out.

    I’m now married and have moved half way round the world from my friends and family and i am living in Dubai because of my Husbands job. We have been here for 8 months now, and i have done NOTHING. Nothing but sit and watch movies, do housework, cook dinner and feel frustrated and useless. I feel like people are judging me. I feel like deep down my husband thinks I’m just lazy. I have no drive, no motivation. No confidence.

    I pray that God will help give me the courage to just try…

  • Kevin Hanson

    hey hope you feel better crying , some times it really help and the only door to release your self when no one else seems to care are understand your pain.
    i have always felt like am trap in jobs but i am a musician in the heart and its like a drugs i have 9 skills and cant stick to any of them to make it worst my wife and kids are all canadian and they want me to apply for residents wish i dont want so i cant see my family unless i fly them out of canada .. wich is my wife and four kids to the caymans or jamaica wich is very expensive. so every time i make money i spend it all on them just to see them for a while. i want to kill my self and i dream of takin my life in the worst cnn sytle death and take enouph people with me so some one would feel my pain in death as no one care to listen when your a live .. i have never commit a crime in my life and have no bad record are ever bin arrested ore any thing all i do is help and treat people and kids like i treat mine except know i am in a situation to kill or be kill i don,t know my father i am doing every thing possible to give my kids the live every kids deserve and its hard to watch your kids slowly dying while the people who hold you back have no remorse to you and your family survive

    am trying to make sence of it all but if we are putting up borders and talking care of our self only, why even live why not just build the whole world so every person have the same freewill if i was born in a different country and even hurt a few people or kill rob drugs i would still have more freedom than a person who live a clean life and still have none i cant live like this how to end this i need help…. thanks for reading

  • Melissa

    Kevin, don’t give up! And most definitely DO NOT KILL YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE! If that is how you are feeling inside, find help and find it fast! Please!!! There are people that can help you solve your problems…work it out, talk it out…whatever needs to be done, but don’t waste something so valuable as your life! For it does have value…to those who love you, to the strangers you will help but have not met yet, and to God. Yes…God. He does love you Kevin and He knows you and He knows your needs. Ask Him for help and then ask others. Speak up…talk…don’t keep it all inside. Someone may have an answer that you don’t have.
    What you have to decide is what is most important for you. Is it so important that you remain a citizen of the islands that you live in or is it more important that you are with your wife and children? I know what it is like to be separated from the ones you love. My first husband was from another country and it took us a year to get his resident visa to come to the US. We were separated for 8 months. At times, it was so painful that I did want to die. But it passed…and we were finally together.
    Believe it or not, Kevin, you just helped ME! Last night I sat here thinking that my life held little value as I watched the same cycle of circumstances happen over and over and over again in my life. Poverty and loneliness has been my life for a very long time and I saw nothing ever changing.
    Then I googled “change your life” and ran across this post. Reading your post and telling you not to give up is in some ways, like talking to myself. I’m giving myself the same pep talk.
    Just had an idea…write about your life and your pain in music, Kevin.
    Write and play/sing it for others. Find hope and share that hope with others. You never know what you will do, whom you will inspire. Maybe you already have, but don’t give up…never EVER give up. Just remember this: killing yourself is like an orchestra quitting at intermission. You never know what amazing melodies the next half of your life will bring. Peace to you…

  • Melissa

    Thank you for this post. I am 42 and last night I sat in tears as I saw the hopelessness of my life. There have been so many moments that I honestly thought that death would be better. I have been in a cycle of poverty, depression and loneliness for so long, i just didn’t know how to break out of it! I have moved 5 times this year and held at least 2 different jobs. Tomorrow I start another temporary position that I know I will despise. Yet, I do it to pay the bills. I have dreams, but I don’t fulfill them. Why? I don’t know. But I know this, your six questions gave me a great deal to think about. In fact, though I haven’t made all my lists yet nor answered all of those questions, by doing so, I think I will finally be able to pin down why I’ve been absolutely miserable for years on end. Thank you so much for this inspired post! I think you just gave me the motivation to do what I’ve been dreaming to do for so long. THANK YOU!

  • marc

    i have always been true and i have not been successful but it has been worth it

  • Kevin Hanson

    thank you for that i finally decide that my family are not going back to canada to live for a long time. i invest in this country and this is were i belong i would acept the canadian residents but i cant spend the require time in canada to keep the resident and if i lost it its very very hard to get it back.
    i have a good head i think i always make money with little money email me i may can teach you a few .. .. and dont worry i only do legal stuff %100 am one of those people that believe in morals over every thing .. but today am feeling a lot better and making all

    conection to push forward this new year as starting point in my life but when your geting to 40 year of age .. its realy boble youre soul ..

  • wrobella

    hello, im a 21 year old college student. Im very very stuck on choosing my career path but This helped me so much!! im still indecisive about what i want to do but i feel like im getting closer. thank you so much for these very enlightening questions!

  • Joel

    After reading a few of the other posts i’m feeling good just having people actually concerned for one another because we are all in the same boat. what to do in life..

    You don’t know me and i doubt my words are worth anyone’s time, but it’s worth my time to express to whoever it concerns a possible solution to your troubles, i’m still on the verge of “Finding Myself” and i know many of you are too, so please allow me 3 minutes of your life and read what i have to say. :)

    What do i want to do with my life isn’t the right question!!! after all you can’t do one thing for your whole life no matter how much you love it. But you can get excited to go out and do it everytime youre not doing it, and everytime you’re finished you should have that feeling of “i want more”! you crave that thing, and that is how you find your passion! —(If you have trouble finding that passion NO SWEAT :) you have the rest of your life to figure out what your passion is then do it for the rest of your existence!)

    The real stunner here is what do we do so that our lives are happy, fulfilling, and exciting? what excites you when you think of the word Exciting? for me its looking over a mountain cliff standing beside a waterfall looking down 1000 feet to the misty valley below. Maybe i want to be a squirrel suit diver :)

    Think of an image in your mind that’s always comforted you or that comes to mind when you think positive and happy, something beautiful, untouched and unscarred serenity (I just pictured the fountain of youth from Pirates of the Caribbean after the word serenity).

    anyways the rest is up to you, i wish everyone a very happy and peaceful journey towards your meaning of life! Much love ~

  • Melissa

    Kevin, I’m so glad to read your response. I have thought about your comment several times and I’m so glad that you have made such a wise decision! Yes, I would be happy to hear more about what you do to make money. I will send you an email.

  • Melissa

    Stephanie, i don’t know if you will read this, but I hope that you will run across this comment at some point. I am 42 and have been up and down in my weight, as well. And I mean, I have been as low as 150 and as high as 260. Just a couple of years ago, I finally just learned to accept myself for who I am. Stop beating yourself up because you gained weight! Guess what? In our society, it’s almost impossible NOT to gain weight. Portions are too big, we drive cars everywhere instead of walking, and our food actually has chemicals in it that will cause you to crave more so you will buy more. Then you are told non-stop that you aren’t acceptable the way you are so you will go spend money on diets to lose weight! It’s called CORPORATE GREED! And guess what, many people literally do just have better metabolisms than others and no matter how much you exercise, that’s not going to change. Learn to love the body you are in and see how beautiful your curves are! You are beautiful NOW! Not 10, 20 or 50 pounds from now, but NOW!
    Second, if you want to lose weight for health reasons, then yes, by all means, do that! And if you want some nutritional points, try eating your big meal for the day at lunchtime. NOT in the evening. It is SO much better for our digestion to eat the biggest meal in the middle of the day. Espemg7 has a point when he says to try and snack on different foods throughout the day. That’s even better than one big meal. But you DO NOT have to starve yourself at all! Fill up on fruits and vegetables. And don’t deny yourself everything all the time. If you do that, you will binge creating a much worse situation than before. You will need to exercise to gain more energy, but that can be a 30 minute walk a day. Anyway, those are just a few tips that I have found to help me. I wish you the best Stephanie! Take care!

  • luckybear

    i was have such a tough time deciding what to do for uni, on one side my heart is set on a course but on the other side its not a practical subject.
    I’ve read so many books, i’ve read so many articles and even asked everyone I know to the point where no one is willing to even listen to me any more. I though i’d be lost and just do ‘ip dip do’ until I came across your blog, and it helped me realize I don’t need that much money to get where i want in fact too much money will just get in my way. I think i will go for it and see where it takes me, hopefully it’ll turn out fulfilling enough for me. so what i want to say is i am incredibly thankful for your blog it may well have helped me make my final decision.

  • Mike

    What’s difficult for me is that answering these questions only deepens my conviction that I have no goals/ambitions in life, and want to do nothing. For example, what would I do if I had a billion dollars? Absolutely nothing – I wouldn’t volunteer, I wouldn’t work part time, I wouldn’t teach philosophy or music or design buildings. I would sleep in, go to the gym to stay in shape, hang out with friends/family, watch movies, surf the net, play guitar (alone in my room – I have no interest in being in a band but I really like playing guitar by myself), etc. Unfortunately none of that helps me figure out what I should do with my life. There isn’t a single career I have ever been interested in, or ever will be. These exercises might be helpful for some people, but people like me are truly beyond help. Some people actually want to do nothing with their lives. The ONLY thing I want is to not have to work, and be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Nothing else appeals to me in the slightest, and it never will.

  • TheSaint

    James McWhinney, amazing article,I really appreciate it but….. what if the questions are too difficult to answer? What if like me we are so confused to not have an answer to this questions.

  • Andrea C.

    Try discovering who you really want to be and find your passions. Non what society expects from you but what you really feel. Follow your heart.

  • Andrea C.

    Feel the same very often. Until I discovered that you must give honest answers to yourself. What brings you peace? What fulfills you? What makes you really happy? There must be something. Everyone has that something inside. And that, you must find out.

  • Andrea C.

    Love your response :)

  • Moses

    I felt this way at 25. I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel at
    my job so I decided to start making money online and through a network marketing business. Hope you find your way.

  • KMI

    LadyAngler , The true existence is within you…..quieten your mind, listen to your heart carefully, and your soul will guide you…

  • guest

    sell everything move to the keys buy a flatboat and get your guide license and captains permit…. fly fishing clients pay $550.00 a day to fish the flats and a 200 day a year work schedule is average…. the sun the water the people and fishing isnt work its just fantastic!

  • gdaym8

    I feel the same way.

  • Sambo

    Grow up, you sound like the most fortunate person in the world, with a good job, good money and able to provide for your family, Stop looking at the negatives and enjoy your time with your son and time off. So you have to deal with a bit of shit at work, even if your some free agent artist you would still have problems then this post would by crying about them. Change your attitude not your life….

  • k.sue

    It’s nearing midnight of the Jan 1 of the new year and here i am. I cldn’t go through another year of the same dysfunctional grind that is the norm in our society. It’s a mess…watch American Addict on netflix, or fat, sick, and nearly dead. I jst witnessed the living conditions of the animals we depend on for food, it’s a scene straight out of hell. Our country has turned into a monster corporation fueled only by profit and at the cost of our health and there is no shame in the lengths gone to for profit…the new god. So then top this off with the same issues everyone else on here are repeating because it has jst become miserable and well, here I am. Watch the TED talks on education. The info is out there folks, things are not being done with our benefit in mind, it’s nothing more than a need for a body to feed the corporations profits. If i sound like one of THOSE ppl that r preaching, trust me, it’s frm the utter shock of what i’ve jst begun to learn. Ok so on top of all this,, i’m dealing with an alcoholic husband. i’m jst lost as to what to do. it’s jst an unending cycle of a few steps forward and a conveyor ride back. i’m trying to figure out what and how to do what i need to do to live the life i want without breaking up a family. I figure after this exercise, i will figure out a few things but this particular part of my life has been set in stone for the past 15yrs. I tried a split but my poor kids took it so horribly. anyway, i jst need some counseling because i’m at a loss. it’s late and i’m rambling. any advice is welcome, i tend to keep this to myself, no outlet as u can probably tell. it all begins with a first step though and that’s why i’m here.

  • vamanij tremblendab

    It sounds to me that you have already woken up. Congratulations! The things you talk about – nature, animals, outdoors, simple living, helping others [most importantly] are all things that all humans should be embracing.
    We have lost our way as a species and have replaced many of the basic human fundamentals with greedy and toxic ways of life, such as acquisition.
    We are slowly waking up, and the more people that get there, the closer we come to enlightenment. I am so happy for you and I would say that I wish you luck, but now that you are awake I do not think that you will be needing that.
    I will say have a great journey! :)

  • Sahil

    Thanks James. It is indeed a very good read.
    I am thinking to ask myself these questions once in a week , as these are the questions that can bring out true me . From the past many years what i am doing is i am wasting my life , thinking about the things that actually does not make sense . But i did not knew what to do about my unconscious mind. Today i really understood the meaning of “A person can change his life by merely changing his attitude”.

    @Friends : Since my childhood i take tensions about little things . I have high dreams in life but these tensions slowly kills my happiness.Till my college i have done nothing significant but worrying . Suddenly my life changed when i get into Job. I interact with people, help them. But even now i felt lonely sometimes .To be very true from deep inside i do want to live a tension free life and achieve happiness but it is my unconscious brain that makes me sad sometime . But from today onwards i will not take tensions and live life happily and peacefully

  • thaniii…

    i love music ,,, but now im 24 and i never learnt music, i want to be very famous but i have’nt done anything to be . now i think its too late to learn anything in music field,, i used to sing in my college n school… now i m myself confused what to do.

  • Chris

    Hey mate
    I am in exactly the same situation as you. I have had real bad anxiety for the past 5 years and it is just crippling. I started freelancing as a web designer and emailed some local business’, but when they called I was too anxious to answer the phone! Ridiculous I know, but that’s how bad it is. I spent this Christmas and last Christmas alone. I live by myself and I just told my family I was speeding it with a friend.
    On top of that i feel lost, like you. It is terrifying when I think about how fast the past 5 years have gone. The prime years of my life are just passing me by.
    Is this now the most depressing post ever lol
    Anyway, it would be nice to connect with you via email if you want? Maybe we can come up with something to fix our situation if we work it out together.
    My email is

  • Sheeba

    …All right. Now what do I DO with this information.
    Recalling childhood dreams is nice and all, but I live in the ‘real’ world.
    The one where people have to eat and need shelter from the cold. -_-;

  • JEC

    Thanx for your post James. Im in a stage in my life right now where im asking myself what do i want to do for the rest of my life? Because my philosophy is that, i didnt come here just to go to College Or University, get a degree, get married, have kids, get old and waiting for death to come, and the kids are repeating the same things as me again, like society wants it to be. I think theres more to this life, we all incarnated on this Earth for something, to accomplish a mission, we all have a purpose, a reason of being here, we all came here to create a product, or service for the evolution of humanity, But the question remains HOW do we find it?, how do we know our purpose? I wish i could have the answers, but so far, im only seeing tiny parts of it, but im trying to structure it in this society. People its not easy, Pray that Whoever created our souls, enligthens up, so we could be in peace and happy with our lifes JEC

  • Jenni Jenni

    I am 27. So far in life I have failed everything I have attempted to do. With now two failed marriages and nno real direction I’m completely lost. I love art and cooking but find working for others runs me dry. I don’t know where to go from here. Good luck

  • Rogue86

    After reading this i realized my true love and passion is in dance. its always been all my life and people always complement me on my dancing when im at clubs. I can truly say its my #1 love and passion and at 27 i just felt so lost and confused as to where my life was going. I felt that i needed to get a job somehow to make money like everyone around me but everyones just miserable because there working in things they dont really love to do and i was just lost and wanted something better in life something more fulfilling and worth living for and ive realized my true love was always in me. im so excited this year i actually have a good idea where im heading in life :))

  • wayne sweeting

    im 22 years old and have not a clue what to do in life….im so confused and lost that at the ages of 17-20 i made alot of mistakes got into college and still have no clue what im doing… i dont really know who to talk to or what to do anymore… if anyone has advice i would love to hear it my cell is 315-263-2574 my names wayne and honetly i have tried so hard and now im just at a point of just feeling like i dont know what im doing anymore

  • Lori Deschene

    Hi Wayne,

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling confused. I don’t know if this helps at all, but this is really common for someone your age. It’s hard to know what you want to do when you haven’t yet had a lot of post-school experience. And sometimes it takes time and trial and error to feel a sense of confidence in your purpose and direction.

    I felt the same way in my early twenties. In fact, it wasn’t until I was 27 that I felt a solid sense of what I wanted to do. I used to think I was “wasting time” until I figured it out, but then I realized that all that time I was doing what I needed to do to figure it out. It was all a valuable and necessary part of the journey, even if I felt frustrated and lost at times, and even if I felt I’d made a lot of mistakes.

    If you’d like to get advice from other community members, you may want to post this in the Tiny Buddha forums, where more people will see it.

    It’s free to join here:

    Then you can access the forums here:

    I hope this helps!


  • gilbert

    Im 31 years old, throw out my years I been In and out of jobs where I have been used and backstab from low paying jobs. I never went to collage I only finish high school, I have no kind of income I my life n stuck with my self trying to figure out of whom and wgat I am in this point in life. Im with someone for five years whom cares about me and been helping me complash my goals and reach out to them. I cry because I cant understand where in my point or what direction I am heading. But there things where I am good at as far as writing, drewing, designing. I just dont like the direction where I am going for myself and just wanted to use my good talent into a good use and not let it get into a waste. I just dont know how are where to start from.

  • Azure

    Hi Victoria, I don’t know if you’ll get this reply, but I just wanted to say that I see a lot of potential in your situation. You have no friends/family nearby and your husband is at work all day. What better time to get online and start educating yourself in whatever field you choose. There are so many online courses and/or tutorials nowadays…even if you are not working toward an actual degree, you can educate yourself so you simply have the knowledge.

    For example, if you wanted to start a line of jewelry, you could learn about that, research how to start your own business, and learn how to create a website. (Just as an example.) I don’t know about selling your wares from Dubai (only because I am not familiar with Dubai and the market there), but cross that bridge when you come to it. If this venture fails, then so what, you’ve learned so much in the process that you can put towards your next venture.

    Or if you want to go a more traditional route, there are actual university degrees you can earn online. Google until you find something that suits your needs.

    Whatever you choose, just work at it and work at it until you become a stand-out in your field. People make a living from doing calligraphy, a photographer that specializes in taking pics of children, or being a tailor, or a personal shopper…all kinds of random stuff. And it sounds like you and your husband don’t *need* your income, which is a mega-bonus to take the pressure off.

    Practice and persistence is more important than talent. You can do it!

  • Azure

    Life has its ups and downs. It’s forever changing, and I believe it is impossible to stay in a “down” for the next 70 years if you keep trying to find something that resonates with you. Don’t give up…you won’t regret it, and someday all of this will be a distant memory.

  • p

    a world without borders. everything you can if you want. for me, it’s a lie. I feel that I have the chains on my neck. I have 30 years I am a wise person, I finished a course on business coach, I can think independently, I have my own opinion, this year was born my wonderful son.(we had fight for our child 6 years). If only I was born in the United States.. My life will be diffrent.. Heart in tears to the action, a lot of dreams and desires too much awareness that people live differently, better, they smile to each other on the streets they are happy that the world is so beautiful that there are wonderful places and beautiful nature and that I never see because normally I can not afford. Heart cries that the same fate awaits my son! so much I’d like to show him the world. Nobody wants to help me. I want work and get from it honest money, I can clean up and do anything as long as escape from here. world without borders does not exist. There is no hope. Here is the great wall. And the internet just sticks a knife in the heart by showing some candy but not allowing it to eat.

    I have lost hope.

    If you can help me please write

  • Lost And Confused

    Hello all and thank you for this post James!

    Without playing the violin (I take responsibility for me and my choices) I am genuinely lost and confused and have been a while, I was just great at covering it up in my many jobs and relationships. I have been called bipolar, ENFP, the one year wonder (different relationship & job every year) and variations of, by many who love me over the years. My stepmum says I am like Spike Milligan “brilliant yet troubled” – which made me happy to hear as he was a hero of mine, but sad as he battled depression and mental health issues which are a reality of mine also, I just cover it all up really well.

    Here’s the issue; due to a very violent and turbulent childhood full of mixed messages which I carried forth into every relationship & venture, I now find myself at 40: unemployed again after getting away with it in a job I hated; the latest of many. Finally I have dealt with most of my personal insecurities, my anger and relationship issues and have no real fears there, I trust myself and am open and am finally making good decisions with relationships.I just can’t clear the block that comes out of my thoughts re: job/career/business and I don’t trust myself. I think and worry WAY too much. I reject psychotropic medication completely, yet I know my overthinking is killing me.

    Dream Job/money no object: Comedy writer, comedian

    Problem: I don’t believe I am as funny as I used to be, plus I am lazy..I start to write..the resistance begins and nothing good comes out so I quit and hate myself. I have tried getting in via the sales aspect (I have been a salesman for many years) but no joy. I see an old friend who is successful and I am not green with envy, I am genuinely happy for him, but then I hate on myself for not being funny enough, driven, focused enough. He has simply done the work and I hugely respect him for that while making excuses for myself. I make everyone I know and meet laugh, many of them have said I should be a comedian but I freeze and do nothing. I am not scared of public speaking or meeting people, it’s the content I struggle with, and the reality of money.

    Passions: Comedy, health and fitness, music, politics, satire , activism, social media

    Problem: I was living my passion for several years by promoting parties and DJing part time, but I made the decision to “retire” due to hedonism, drugs, bad people etc. So that’s out. Comedy I mentioned above. I am about to begin a part time personal trainer course as I love working out, getting healthy, transforming my body & mind and helping friends to do so. Negatives: My area is saturated with them and I just don’t believe in myself enough to make it work. As an ENFP (I wish there was more out there to help with personality profiles) I get very passionate about social issues, the dumbing down of society, corrupt politics, manipulation, media etc. Last year I found myself as the head of a grassroots movement that created change in government and uplifted the community..I was greatly appreciated and advised by many to get into politics. My toxic romantic relationship at the time consumed me until only just recently.

    I know meditation will help, and I avoid it, I know writing anything will help and I avoid it (yet I am comfortable writing this) . If I can resist the work I will…with TV, movies, cannabis, porn, sex, whatever. I just get worse and worse in my self esteem.

    Right now I am struggling to get interviews for jobs I know I will hate just to pay the bills. I know that’s “the universe” or whatever you want to call it, telling me it’s my time for change, but the bills need paying and I need a lift. I hate wearing suits, ties, offices, corporate culture and feeling like I am selling my soul. I want something more noble.

    Part of me wants to get realistic and get into social care, but I don’t want to do 3 years at uni & get more debt. Part of me wants to be a vice squad officer working with missing kids, working to smash paedophile/trafficking rings, but I have a (spent) criminal record from 20 years ago. Part of me wants to launch something like “The Young Turks” in the UK, Part of me wants to be a personal trainer, part of me wants to make money, part of me wants to laugh, part of me wants to cry. Part of me wants to die, I attempted suicide twice in my 20s, I would never, ever do it now. But, the thought is always there. I have my moments of excitement and positivity, but they get stomped by the Mondays, every day…even though I am free of my office job where I had chest pains, stomach ulcers and vomiting many times over many years.

    The word “should” to me is a swear word, and even though I avoid it and encourage others to avoid it, it’s in my head. I was heralded as a future millionaire at the age of 14, I got a scholarship to a top boys school at 11, and hated it due to my family environment and self esteem issues. Yet I keep hearing “you are very lucky – you are a white, educated, healthy, european in 2014, you SHOULD be happy, making great money, having nice things and doing what you want, it should come easy” I reject the voice yet it still lingers.

    Thank you for reading, apologies for the essay yet one good thing is this is the longest I have written in a long time :D

  • Confused but determined

    One of the smartest and most helpful comments around, thank you :))

  • OnlyOneAnswer

    I have been reading these comments and I see a trend… Why has no one mentioned God? I know that is a dirty word in today’s culture, but I can assure you: All the on-line advice, self-help books, and motivational speaker seminars in the world will still leave you thirsty. I know because I have been there. Proof? Look at these posts: On one end we have a poor person who hates the world for their own reasons… On the other end, a rich person who hates the world for their own reasons. I promise, if you continue to look at earthly answers to your questions, you will be looking for a long time. There is one person that can give you the answers you need. And He can’t be found on earth. But he did write a book if you’re interested… I recommend the New King James Version.

  • James

    Do what you haven’t done yet. Don’t try to force anything.. Don’t pass judgement even on society it is the way it is let others be the way they want to be cause they’ll be that person anyway.. take all bad feelings and throw them all away.. do more of what you enjoy doing visit a distant relative.. express your feelings to everyone you care about and that cares for you..

  • Liton Ahmed

    Sorry to hear that. I pray for your success. It will change Happy Plants. Don’t give up!!!

  • Aaron

    Oh I feel awful. I am reading this and answering honestly, but I am nothing of what I yearn for. I haven’t been able to find a career, I’ve been through multiple jobs. I am only 19, why am I so lost. Everything I wrote is the farthest thing from a 9 to 5 job. I moved out of my house across country and felt so alive while traveling. Now I’m lost, I don’t want a job, to place all of my energy into, then to buy the fake ness and trash of this world to waste the last of my energy.
    I want that feeling of following the heart, and spreading good vibes. I don’t want a family or a career to retire on. I don’t want a 401k or large shares in the latest company. Why, can’t I find this life?
    I don’t mind working, but I don’t feel right. I get troubling stomach pains, I can not live this life.
    However I don’t know where to start or go.
    This post is beautiful, like what I want, I’m sweating just from how badly I want this life, and the seriousness of how I feel. I can not give enough thanks for this, but I am now in realization I can’t keep living like this.

    Thanks, hopefully I will find what I need.

  • Ally Mack

    Hi I’m Ally
    I have been in the most horrendous marriage for 20 years he has cheated on me several times, he constantly lies, has been in trouble with the law emotionally blackmails my kids has attempted suicide (not) several times to keep me here he spends every penny we have before i can get what i need for the kids, house or myself and he’s down right disrespectful to me Why am i still here you ask ???? because he keeps me in financial and emotional trouble so that i have been on a hamster wheel of hellishness and never able to get off coping with one drama after another constantly skint and unable to get away and rent my own place and start over. I have answers to every single one of these questions and it has made me think I could have had these things but I put everyone else before me and now its too late- for all you guys reading these posts chase and catch as many of your dreams as you can. You can knock your pan in trying to please and support others and forget your self. Answer the questions and do what you have to do to cross them off as you achieve them . M

    ake it your bucket list ha ha xxx all the best A

  • Alia Jan

    This is a great article. I have always said that you are broke if you
    spend everything (or more) than you make, even if you make over a
    million dollars per year.

  • bandgeek

    I’m just a middleschooler, wandering on the internet, going to school. I have a lot more years to live, but the most memorable moments are middle school and high school, and I’m here on the internet, passing my day like yesterday; going to school and on the internet at home. Then I stumbled on to this article, and I realize that I am wasting my precious, beautiful life to something that’ll hurt me (with socialization, education, and memories). I realized that I can’t answer most of your questions…

    So I want to start a new life tomorrow; doing a good deed a day with a happy moment everyday. I want to find a reason to keep living for tomorrow. When I’m on my deathbed at 90, I want to look back at my life and regret nothing.

  • Nick-Nock

    What about taking a course? You said that you like helping others so you could study to become some kind of counseller, or occupational therapist? You are obviously an intelligent woman and you would be able to relate to people and understand their feelings?
    Have a look at night schools or degrees that interest you, and even if they don’t lead to a new career, at least you would be doing something for YOU and not anyone else and that would make you feel so much better.
    Good luck :)

  • Dante

    I m 20 years old now, stopped my economics school for the reason i would hate doing a desk job like this and also we have money difficulties…
    i wanna make a new start, study something that will make me happy..and get out of this misery every day life of doing nothing.. but the problem is i dont really know what i want to do.. i like some things but im not sure for neither of them..
    so i gave these questions a try and i will post them in case anyone of you have any ideas to help me.. here we go..

    1. I love music(favorite thing in the world), video games, animations, beautiful nature, traveling, peace, hospitality, calmness, good company, meeting good people

    2. I m not sure for this question but all i can think is these… making friends, staying on a “good” path, getting a job, started guitar

    3. For peace, equality, empathy, world aid

    4. This one is a hard one but i dont really mind as long i am happy in a place i want to be, resourceful and with people i love

    5.Buy a pc (looong desire), start a new instrument, help my friends and family, donate to poor and travel

    6. I dont have really any particular in mind, i just admire the people that help the others in need, the more simple the better

    thats all i can think for now, thanks for the list and the comments below :)

  • Manish

    I m confused in my life, i don’t wanna live like this and also don’t want die for nothing. i want to do something i have faith in myself that i will do something. I always ask myself the reason of my birth why i’ve been born why i am here. need help… please help

  • jr

    I’m 18 years old and everyday I get up I still don’t know wat I want in life. The things I want I don’t know if I’m ready to get it

  • zeninla

    answered all the question, but that didn’t tell me much more than i already didn’t know. you should do a part two of this article that explains what to do with your answers. how can they be useful and actionable. i think they need to be broken down even further somehow.

  • Angela

    A lovely article.

    I am 24 and working in a job that I don’t hate, but I don’t respect those I work for or what they are doing. I waited my whole life to work in film and now that I am here….it is letting me down. It has been hard for my dream job to turn into this.

    I don’t know where to go from here. I’ve only been in my position for 3 months so I can’t very well quit and move on so soon. I understand needing to own your own life and follow your dreams and desires, but I think that there is something to be said for common courtesy and not leaving your employers in a lurch. I feel so lost all of the time.

  • honey

    Thanks a lot of this information it makes me realize that life is fragile… we need to think evrything that weve done….if thats a rght things to do or not? I start communicate and start reading like this article its very helpful for me tnxxx

  • Nick Bryant

    Hello Lady Angler!

    Don’t stress! Your situation can be fixed! I would recommend cutting back drastically on your spending. Save up for about 1 year’s worth of expenses and then get out of town! At that point you can spend some time relaxing and finding your true passion.

    I personally need about $16,000 per year to live as a single person in Gainesville, Florida. Pretty much everyone out here lives with very little money and we’re pretty happy! Go back to the basics and stop keeping up with the Joneses. Downsize the apartment, the car, any extra money you may be spending on eating out and shopping. Once you’ve saved up, you’ll be ready to find your true path!

    Remember, we’re all born with nothing and we’ll all die with nothing. Possessions don’t mean too much!

    I hope this helped

  • kika

    unfortunately i do not know what i want or like in life..i have been suffering from social phobia since more than 8 years 31 and dont know what step to take
    i have zero friends and the thing is i dont seem to want to make them neither as i never had them. i feel miserable. when i did try to make a friend i just didnt have much to say.
    i dont speak to no one except family members
    i wake up and see no future..i stay at home all day as i cant go scared sort of.nervous and anxious about what people are tinking of me

    all i know is that i want alot of money and i dont want to work very very hard for it

    any advice let me know

  • Jaime

    Great post as im looking for an answer myself on what to do in my life and really stressed me for the past 6 months. i hope there’s a very good outcome if i follow this. thank you…

  • Emma

    Thank You really THANK YOU

  • Fitzmeister

    LadyAngler, you’re not alone! A simple few words help me change my life – “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I’ve just walked away from 24 years in law enforcement. This job was my life and it didn’t matter what happened to me, my job was always there. The only problem was this type of work wears you down to the point where you have nothing left. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough self respect to change and instead worried more about job security than my well being. I became ill two years ago and decided is was time to feel the fear and make some big changes. It’s not easy and some days I feel it would be easier to go back to what I know but I remember how the stress was killing me. Life is certainly more interest now and I’m more comfortable with change. All the best


    I’m 36 male and I have a wife and 2 kids (2 and 11 months). I also have a child that is 12 from a previous, failed, relationship. I have joint custody and loved spending time with him. Now that he is older and is with his friends more the fun has worn off. Not to mention that his mother has no clue about the importance of attaining high marks in school and is satisfied with him just passing, which makes me want to smack her upside the head and say wake up! Now, my current marriage is basically failing because my wife seemed to have unreal expectations about how being a mother was going to go. As I guess I did as well. I married her and had children with her because I did not want to lose the friendship that seemed to be so great when we were dating. This has proven to be a big mistake. I am unhappy, the sex now sucks and the kids, though I love them, seem more of a burden then an enjoyment. I married and had children for the wrong reasons and totally f&*ked myself. I hate my business (self employed carpenter/contractor). I used to have so many dreams and expectations and used to love life and mostly my freedom. I never made a lot of money and was just out of the woods with my first son and could have gotten a big chunk of my freedom back being he was at the point that he was more independent. Now I’m doing it all over again and I hate it. I feel like killing myself everyday just to escape because nothing brings me joy, except for my kids smiling and that doesn’t make it any better in the long run. I have no retirement, no savings because it all goes to my child support and current wife and kids care, so I basically can’t do shit with my free time and when I do I get reprimanded about how my life hasn’t changed and my wife’s has….which is complete bs! I play softball 1 night a week in the summer and used to go bowling with one of my friends on Monday in the winter…and besides the once a month ufc fight I basically do nothing but hang out with the family. I tell my wife to go out and enjoy some time away from the kids which she does when she’s not making the excuse of being to tired. True she’s been tired from waking up with the kids because I had knee surgery and couldn’t but when I was, and now that I am healthy I wake up with the youngest so that I don’t have to listen to her complain and so that she has less of a reason to bitch at me…..SO, my life sucks. I can no longer be active and pursue dreams that I once had (going to Colorado to go snowboarding, living somewhere warm and just enjoying freedom and life)….so what’s the answer….and that’s even if you read all of this. AND that’s just the tip of the ice berg. (multiple surgeries, divorced parents, dad that was never there, thought and was told I had an std, which was mis diagnosed, kicked out at the age of 16…should i continue) Life has just sucked but I’m still here, I don’t know why, believing that one day it will magically all disappear. Also, I had a GPA of 3.75 with classes in Anatomy, pre-calc, chemistry….and I’m a f**king carpenter!!!!! Someone please help me see the light!

  • Just

    I’m a 19 year old guy and idk what to do. I love music and want to get signed to a major label because i feel i have the potential if i truly desire to get good enough, but i know thats just a dream. I believe no one should ever settle for less than they already have. I feel like it kills you a little bit on the inside. Life shouldn’t be about working for the rest of your life. I feel there is a deeper meaning but i dont know what i want to do. Those questions and things to write down i literally couldn’t come up with anything.

  • SlimShady

    1: nothing
    2: im proud of all the trips that i’ve done
    3: i would do the things im doing now
    4: this is my fucking question
    5: buy a beautiful house
    6: no one

    What a beautiful life that i have

  • livebyfaith

    the answer to everything is to turn to Jesus and he will guide you and direct your paths, no matter what you do in life without God you end up failing and feeling miserable. jesus is the way the truth and the life, you feeling miserable and discourage? turn to jesus, nothing or no one else will find you satistafaction in this life because apart from him we have nothing, turn to him and see how your life will change

  • livebyfaith

    please turn to jesus nothing else in this life will satisfy you, and you wont find happines. jesus is the answer cry out to him and surrender and you will see how your life will change. the devil has nothing to offer you but he just wants to destroy you and decite you with lies. but no matter what you do in life without God you wont find happines. i was in your position beofre until i gave up and surender to him and my he change my life completly , and now i wake up every morning with joy looking forward cus now i have something to live for

  • Tenzin Thokmay

    Thank you for.the post. It helped me to see what life could be if we realize what is really important and which would make one’s life truely worth and happy.
    I’m 27 and unemployed for now,only completed high school, bounced between lots of odd jobs earning just enough to get by but most of the times I’m in financial crisis with unpaid bills. I tell myself everytime when I’m financially broke which always leads me to depression, I tell myself that I’m still very lucku that there are soo many people out there who sleep empty stomach and without a roof on their heads. Sometimes it’s just too stressful to even think about a future while everything you try kind of fails at the moment and then I’m just too scared to think if i could even support or raise a family if I had one in the future. Buy I’m still hopeful things will get better one day. I live in asia,nepal and I always thought the west was a paradise with people earning good money and the comfortable life they lead but then I read the comments here in article and feel like even in the west with all thay people still feel soo depressed and miserable. I earned roughly 1800 US $ a year when I did work. I guess simple living isn’t that easy when reality hits you in the face everyday to remind you that you were born in this certain time to work your whole life just to have enough to eat and live. Hate inflation. I’d be happy if I could just come down to west because life is really better there from what I hear. Anyway I hope everyone feel better and find a way to be happier. 3 of mu friends committed suicide ouy of depression which is kind of scary. I wouldn’t consider that. Just look for beter days, and yeah stay content.

  • Tenzin Thokmay

    Work hard 1st and save some real money then get out and persue a dream if you have one. Nothing comes easy my friend. And go out and just stop caring about what people might think, you should train yourself to do that…here too it takes a little work. Well,just stop doing anything for an hour everyday,don’t touch nothing,no internet or tv or cell phone nor any book..just lie idle and think about life and what you feel is uour purpose(genuinely) what would make you genuinely happy..and go out and try yo work on that. I would do the same thing if I was you,but I need to get by and feed myself on daily basis. It takes time patience anf alil work before you see a more happier and comfortable day.

  • Tenzin Thokmay

    Go for your dreams but don’t expect too much though coz that.may lead you to feel miserable if you don’t get where you want to. An unrealistic expectation is harmful but if you know your good in music and you love doing it then there will always be a way. Goodluck on that.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Good to hear that. Happy journey.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Goodluck buddy.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Wish I could really help you there but can’t. I know it’s disheartening when starting from the scratch but I hear you got a degree in business so I hope you get the right opportunity soon.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Happiness is really all in your mind. Nicely said. I had this friend always was jolly,laughing, smiling with everyone. Was fun loving and always seemed positive but then two days back I found out she committed suicide, and I was absolutely shocked and speechless. That was all fake and a mask while underneath, she was just dieing everyday by pressure from her family which I found out yesterday as she left a note. Well,train your mind and meditation should help a little to not go thay extreme. Damn. It is all in our mind.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    I agree with you.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Thank you for your positive words and good luck ahead.

  • TenziN Thokmay

    Why is your dream job letting you down,what reasons? ? Practicing to be a little content sometimes can really ease your mind. If you know those reasons then get down to the bottom of that and work on it. Why is it a big deal?? Ask yourself and generally, nothing will make one happy even if one had a trillion dollars in his/her account unless one practices contentment. And work for a social cause if time permits, helping others will eventually make you happier and forget about your own illusional worries that is created by mind in time.

  • new_girl

    Hi, I feel the exact same way and I’m 27. I finished uni, have a decent job, but dreaming of doing something else and finding something that makes me happy. As you, I know there’s no one out there who could answer these questions for me, but it doesn’t make it any easier. There’s just nothing that makes me happy or that I’d like to do. It makes me feel even worse when I see people who know what they want from life, when I’m just stuck with clueless mind and heart. I feel like there’s nothing inside me. I remember I used to be ambitious and I had plans (which I then realised) but it’s gone now. I keep on coming back to this post, trying again and again. But I’m slowly giving up now, thinking it’ll all be the same forever.

  • sal

    im in a sistuation right now where i dont now what to do with my life, im thinking of jooning the military to help me decide what i want to do, but anyways im going to do these 6 question first and find out what i really want in life

  • M

    blah blah blah self help bullshit blah. What if the answer to all those questions is simply nothing? I found this page by searching “I don’t value my life” on google, and your article did zero to change that.

  • Jopey Joe

    I’ve recently turned 18, studying music at college and in a few months my course ends. I have no idea what to do next. university hasn’t been a big interest of mine but i thought it would keep me busy for the next few years but it turns out I’m not good enough.. Music is the only thing i care about and for someone to say my music ‘isn’t that good or exciting’ from a university tutor is just heartbreaking. Especially after spending hours a week writing and recording for the past 3 years.

    Right now my life literally has no meaning, i don’t know maybe I’m having a man period or something but i really can’t be bothered with anything right now. All my confidence has been drained out from that university interview. My parents think I’m doing really well and the university interview went great, just needed to share this with someone and who else is better than a bunch of people on the internet who i don’t know.

    basically, if you work for a record label, TELL THEM TO GIVE ME A CHANCE!!!!!

  • jopey joe

    holy fuck I’m exactly the same, all i want to do is write music, getting signed just seems impossible but i promised myself i won’t give up trying until i die, reason being if i don’t write and perform music for a living, i don’t want to live at all.

  • Ashley Keer

    This article helped me so much. I am 22 years of age. Ever since leaving school I have tried many different things and moved about a lot, I’ve never had a stable life. I’m forced to go into dead end jobs to provide for me and my fiancée but I have always known that I never want a job where I am unfulfilled or be told what to do or forced to do something. Trouble is, I have so many interests and passions and so many potential paths to take that I get lost and don’t know which way to go. I feel I’ve been lost for the past 6 years and when I think I’m getting somewhere I eventually seem to get lost again and go back to square 1. However, hopefully this is the start of doing what I really want to do. Thank you for this amazingly helpful post! :)

  • Eric Saucier

    Life and all that is in it,
    is part of the infinite mind;
    and the only way that life can go wrong
    is by the limited finite mind.

  • Kat

    This is the life you chose so be a mature man and deal with it and put effort into making it work! You aren’t a teenager anymore that can walk away from a relationship when it’s not fun anymore. All couples go through this. You took marriage vows for better or worse. So I suggest you work through the worst and stick around. I hate it when couples decide to divorce because the honeymoon stage is over and it’s not fun anymore. People like this have no business getting married in the first place. I don’t mean to offend you but I probly have but you sound more like a 20 year old then someone in there 30′s. Grow up, you have kids now and they look up to you and you need to set a good example. Show them that you need hang in there when things get tough, not run away. If your unhappy in your work life that’s a differnt story. I wouldn’t quit your job without having another one lined up since you have a family to support. Go to a job agency and see what they have to offer. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. My upbringing was worse than yours the only difference is I don’t go around playing the victem and crying about it. It just showed me what I didn’t want to be like and I moved beyond it. It’s time you do the same. I’m sorry if all this sounds insensitive, just think of it as tough love.

  • Kat

    Are there any community centers near you where you can sign up for a class? Something like pottery, or painting? How about a outdoors group? I love hiking.

  • Zo

    Hi Ally Mack,
    Thanks for what you said..I am a 21 year old scared piece of shit..I do not follow my dreams. Instead I have buried them deep because my parents told me I should aim to get a ‘proper’ job. I feel sick, I wanted to be a dancer..I’ve never loved anything as much as dancing and my ex who tore my heart apart by cheating on me with my best friend. I;m currently on my way to working in the finance business eventhough I know I would hate it. I lie to myself everyday. But, I never change because I’m afraid, society and my parents have instilled in me an idea that I cannot get away from. And I am the one to blame, but I feel weak and like I’ll never get out of it. I never knew I would turn into such a disappointment when I was a kid and had all those crazy dreams and felt so excited about life.
    Hope you get away from your husband. Find the strength..And be happy again, be a strong woman your kids will look up to:)…

  • dado

    I was born in bosnia and was forced out of my country. I am a refugee and my family too refuge in germany and now we are in the States. I am an ex collegiate athlete. I was an all american had a full ride scholarship and I lost it because i wanted to party. Now I am stuck in a never ending cycle of not knowing what to do with my life. Soccer has consumed my life for 20 years and now i am struggling without it. I feel like ive wasted my skill and now i definitely cant find what i wanna do or what i wanna be. Im back in college but it feels like im just going through the motions and im simply not excited about anything i do. I just need a spark.


    i am just the BEST !!!

  • A friendly voice

    In life it is important to start living and stop existing. Whilst it is true that we only have one life, it is also true that we have a lifetime to do something incredible. “Nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit inside every man, than the idea of a secure future. It is important to have an ever changing horizon and a new sun.” Christopher Mcandless. The change starts with you. Only you can decide if it’s a failure. So give it a go and don’t stop until you find it.

    A young man beginning to choose his path.

  • prabhjot singh

    I stuck in my life after doing mba …don’t know where to go.. my father is having the small retail shop….don’t know what was my passion…..I remember the days when I was passionate about mba…to join top b school…..but I joined average school……now just going to start jonb to earn money…..but I lost my passion…………………………..quitting success path .just going to live a simple life…………………

  • Vobluda

    What to do if the answers are: 1) nothing, 2) nothing, 5) the things you said and then what I do now – reading and some time wasting, but without a fear how to pay for bills 6) nobody ?

    I don’t want to live like that, I don’t want to, but I tried everything. I get passionate about something and then it fades.. and I am more and more sad. I think I could have ADD, that is only thing that explains my life.. I just don’t know so much.. Well, I spend more time here, maybe it helps:)

  • AZ

    I am lost.. I don’t know what to do. I Just graduated. 19 years of age, and have a job that puts food on the table for my siblings. We’re not making much money, but we are surviving. I don’t want to be stuck doing the same thing all my life. I want to make more money for my family! Make it easier for them. I don’t care what happens to me.

    I’m a guy that loves nature, and weight lifting, but more importantly helping people. Who ever needs help, like people that are starving but have no control over that or those who are ill.. Even in other countries.
    I’m just stuck in my own little world , and don’t know what’s out there.. Where do I start..? Who do I go to?

  • Bre

    I don’t know any of you on this page, but I have to admit it felt good to know I am not alone in the fight of living and just not existing anymore. I am a giver; always has been but i also want to be loved within my giving. But it seems as if my kindness is taken advantage of and made it look like I am weak and than when I finally speak up for myself I am looked at as being a b*tch or being called selfish and only thinking of myself. I have been listening to this spiritual song by a lady named Jessica Reedy called “Better”; this song will feed your soul to the fullest. I pray for everyone on this page and that we all find a sense of happiness and reason to fight to live. I have been bullied all my life told I am nothing live with an emotional abusive fiance and than I ask myself why I am still with him and giving all I have to him and others who don’t care anything about me.

    It is nothing wrong with living for yourself and for your kids if you have them. I am learning it is not being selfish but loving yourself and who you are… I am a musician who was told by family and some so called friends to find something more stable that has benefits and job security; I followed my heart and I won’t make it seem as if everyday is easy, but it is fulfilling to where it has saved my life. I have been able to travel the world and get paid for what I love doing. I am learning that you have to live for yourself and than you can include others.

    There are still giving people in this world and there are still evil takers in this world. I am praying on where to draw the line and sometimes have problems with drawing those lines but with declining health it’s making the decision easier and easier.

    I pray for all looking for purpose and the will to live and the fight to stop just existing and I know it’s hard. I am still fighting even today but I refuse to give in without going out without a fight.

    I pray for you alls strength!

  • jbmiller97

    blah blah blah self help bullshit blah. What if the answer to all those questions is simply nothing? I found this page by searching “I don’t value my life” on google, and this offered me absolutely nothing.

    I have done quite a bit of thinking on the subject of the worth of people, death, life, and how we’re all brought up in life being told “we are all special”. Well we’re not. There are an infinite number of me’s out in the endless expanse of space ensuring that the configuration of atoms and energy called me will never die, and do you know what happens if you don’t die, if you CAN’T die? You go mad. This is the fate that awaits all of us, the sheer force of boredom alone will drive every one of us past the brink of complete insanity. I have only lived for 16 years but my life feels as if it has passed through hundreds of years. When you stare deep into the abyss it is said to stare back at you, this is untrue. When you stare deep enough into the void you realize, you were nothing all along, and yet you cannot die. If there were such a thing as a soul, I would believe it to have been sucked strait out of me leaving only my mind left to decay as a body without a pulse. If you can, disregard what I say to you, just … remember this. It will help you understand what is happening when you find yourself alive when you should be dead.

  • joe

    Nobody here is alone. We all have some relationship in life that brings us down – a job, boss, career, parent, friend, etc. This article is important as it gets you to examine your life, but solutions that require change are the hardest to implement. We MUST change. You have two choices – change, or depression. Every book, every movie, every pop song, every saying….have one thing in common if you read between the lines. That is, you must change something to make the future different than the past.

    I have never known complacency. I have not only put bad relationships behind me, but also, in my ever-seeking need to change, have destroyed a few good situations.

    You simply must dive off the board into the water of your dreams. This is not simple, but the hardest thing you will ever do…but do you must.

    Quit, move, begin that business, end that marriage, leave those toxic siblings…whatever you want to get away from, do it now. Even if you do not know where you are going, you’ll get there someday simply because you had the courage to get off the wrong path.


  • Mel

    I’m 19 years old, just graduated high school and I have no clue what to study. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want and what makes me happy and this post has kind of helped me see what I truly want in life. Hopefully I’ll find my way. Thanks!

  • kos

    I am 33 years old and I can relate to you Ladyangler. I have lived my life the basic layout Also so far. I too feel like I am eating my life and live for the weekends. . it has been almost a year since your comment, would love to hear you progress. I am on the fence myself trying to break free and do something else with my life.

  • Nigel


    Please don’t put yourself down like that. You’re not a scared piece of shit OR a disappointment. If you look at the life stories of anyone that ever achieved anything, they always faced some sort of opposition from somewhere. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers; there will always be someone trying to tell you how to live your life. But you need to start listening to what YOU want, not what they want. :)

  • Lavinia

    love it! Thank you

  • a girl

    My problem is that I don’t care about anything, I’m jus killing time at the age of 22. last years I always did what I wanted, I was painting, doing yoga, reading, studying science and art, helping others, I was always out, I had many friends. But now it’s already 7 or 8 months I do nothing at all and I don’t even want to do, I see the idea in nothing, I don’t trust anyone, I feel nothing because I felt too many disappointment, I dont have strength to wake up in the morning. I want to live again but first I need to find something worth. I just listen to my favorite music and thats all. I lost my favorite people and I lost my memories, places and everything with them. I can’t even think, I think I’m still shocked. I want to live again but I can’t fight for it. will I ever be happy again? or satisfied.

  • Felicha


    I have spent a few hours pondering and answering these questions.

    What I’ve realized is that the person who I’ve always wanted is already here, present and aware of what she wants, and who she wants to be. I’ve made a lot of conscious choices in the past few years and have been able to let go of anxieties and become much more self aware. I am starting to become the humble, compassionate individual I’ve always dreamed of being. I’ve also realized that my dreams are very achieveable as they aren’t too out of this world.

    Thank you for giving me the questions to tie it all together. This has given me the push to let go of the fear and keep moving in the right direction.

    To everyone out there who feels lost: let go, and love yourself. Seek therapy, surround your self with motivated individuals who resonate good energy and what you love to do will come to you.

    With an open heart always,

  • Paul

    Not trying to be intrusive or anything but I kind of get the feeling that your life revolves around drinking booze and getting high. As a former drug/alcohol abuser, trust me, these things are mere distractions and, quite frankly, a waste of money. They aren’t the answers you’re looking for. Try looking deeper inside of you.

  • TheKid

    I can’t answer some of these questions. I feel I’m too young. and maybe it’s beyond just simply changing myself, but I definitely don’t feel as if I’m passionate about anything in life, nor do I feel as if I’ve accomplished anything major because I literally QUIT everything at some point. I appreciate the incite and wish this could be something of worth to me, but instead, it’s made me feel more disappointed about myself and admiring someone, I don’t admire the people exactly, sometimes I admire traits in people or things they’ve accomplished themselves or attitude they have towards things, but I don’t look at people and go wow! Just not in me, I stay within myself, consumed by emotions and deep thoughts. I don’t think I’ll ever make it anywhere. Although I know I have something in me, just don’t know how to make it come out and make life happen. It’s depressing.

  • stu

    Thank you for the reply .No intrusion at all Paul . Im not depressed. I dont use daily or abuse either alcohol or drugs. If I drink I have one. If I smoke a joint its one or two. I look after my family and friends. Im employee of the month every month. The point im trying to make is that the article is based on dreams of many people but its not just so simple and easy to pack up and start again. Well unless I was a bit of a selfish bastard that cares only what makes me happy. its a very nice and fulfilling article to read but in fact its not so simple that it sounds to turn life around. Possible? Yes. So easy as it sounds? No way!! Theres no ying without yang. Not without somekind of financial backing during the change. Or did everyone forget that money is why the world goes around???

  • PJeans

    I feel like I am in a terrible situation right now. I am 21 years old with an associates degree a well paying job as a waiter I’m saving tons of money I have a great car and a strong family behind me as well as a good group of friends but I feel like I am trapped. All of my friends know what they want to be and have their careers figured out but I feel like I am the last one to do so. I love sports talking about butnim not very good at writing, I enjoy the feel of helping others figure out what is right and what is wrong but I can’t figure out what is right for me. I come from a poor but very strong family and they all think very highly of me but I feel like I am wasting time. I know I have my whole life ahead of me but I’ve been at a stand still for over 2 years now

  • steph

    What if you don’t know what you are good at? or your strengths? Im 19 at the moment, about to go in my last year of uni, i’m glad I know all this information you’ve posted, yet I still feel like I will end up in something I wont like, I don’t feel I can do anything to stop it.
    should you go for something you enjoy but are not good at ? or something you are ok with, but do not enjoy? because sadly, that is the way it is for me.

  • Syed Naqvi

    Everybody has something. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    You’re living it good! :D It’s great, keep up the high potential of getting outstanding grades and what not. But for what you wish to do for your future life, don’t let any one decide that for you. I’m 19 as well and honestly, well I’m not stupid, but I’m extremely lazy which brings forth my stupidity. I’m failing two of my classes which I’m completely upset, so I WANT to change my life. Okay pardon this act of behavior but, to hell with the world and their ideologies. You should set out for your dreams in what you love and accomplish many things. I’m not saying to ignore those who are trying to help you, I’m saying to be happy :) Live it good and believe in your self. We have a long life ahead of us, and god forbid if we don’t have that time, then let’s at least enjoy these very seconds with joy. Oh and listen to upbeat music, it’ll rile you up and make you feel like doing the impossible! ^.^ Just like Molly Lou Mellon’s grandma would say, “Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you.” And so…. “She believed.” ;D Read that book many years ago. _> shhh <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    You are in the state of nirvana. Hmmmm, sorry felt like saying that ’cause it popped in my head. Well I’m 19! :D I’m not in the least like you, out going, beautiful, creative, etc. You seem to have had it good but people hurt you and now you feel like, “shit…. what is there to live for now? :(” Meh, I feel that every day ^.^ You’re not alone, I sometimes try to see myself with a friend. I mean I have some but I don’t get that sense of comfort like happiness, I’m usually alone and I’m like you at that part. “Why get up? I’m just going to do the same shit all over again.” But I want to change, I wanna get over my social anxiety and become somebody great. I shall accomplish that! If not then I’ll be tossing and turning in my grave ’cause I’ll be like “what have I done?! God (or whomever or not you believe in) created me and I threw it all away!” WE must change ourselves! ^.^ And when you say you have lost your friends, nah. They have lost you. <3 When I'm alone a lot, I begin to cry (a young man crying, ha! unheard of) and feel like dying many times or I ask God why he created me? Or will I always be depressed and sad forever? But in the end, all we ever want is to be happy. So in your case seeing as you're young too and have lots of confidence, think of your future not of the present or the past. Think of what you want to do, such as become a Picasso, Da Vinici, Steve Jobs, Sarah Palin (nah not her, sorry), Oprah, Toni Morrison, Nelson Mandela and change the world. I'm not telling you to become a dude, I'm saying to examine their ideals and make a new goal in life! :D _>) okay I’m still alive. But don’t be like the idiotic couple like right in my face, at the moment kissing crazily in the middle of the library… -_- Well I’m not sure if you’ll want to read my long ass essay haha but it was worth the try. Trust me, you will be happy :)

  • Syed Naqvi

    Ahem! I’m 19 years old too man. “impossible”, Not sure where the quote is from because my 13 year old brother told me about it. “Nothing is impossible, because the word itself says I’m Possible.” Like wow man, that blew me! I was like hahaha I love that quote. <3 (I'm a heart loving guy, sorry) Go forth with your dream. If Mandela can walk his country to freedom, if Gandhi can help liberate independence, if Malcolm X can defy the system of injustice, if Dr. King can announce, "I Have a DREAM!" Then believe me man. Your dream of becoming a musician or music producer or in the actual band itself is Absolutely POSSIBLE! I mean look at Justin Bieber, he made it. So why cant you? ^.^ I'm pretty sure you're way better than he is. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    Haha, man no one’s ready in life. My ma had her first kid when she was 20, I asked her, “Were you ready for all of this?” Now she has four of us including me, I’m oldest son with two older sisters and one bro. She was like, “No not really, but what I did, was done and from then on I set my goals on how to complete my position as a mother.” You’re probably like what the hell does this have to do with me not knowing what to do with my life…. >_> Well, none of us are ready <3 We just gotta go out there and find out what we can stabilize on and maintain a happy living. :) In time you will be like, hmm was i really like that? But we just have to be thrown out on the stage of life and embrace all the challenges that come at us. Because we are Human! And we shall not go undefeated! Learn new things online, the web is vast now. Everything is within our grasps. Good luck man, and I hope you find meaning to your wonderful life. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    Become a chef! :D I’ll come to your restaurant. ^.^ You’re still young! Even though I’m 19 >_> … I’m a baby then. (: But stop running so much and stop! Relax it out, breath in then breath out. Think of YOUR life as a whole. “I wanna be an artist like Picasso!” or “I wanna be a chef like that one dude from Hell’s Kitchen!” You may have failed, but it;s good. There was a quote I read from a poster in high school. Something like this, “It’s better to fail in life but get back up, then never trying at all.” Men, ugh. they are swine-full pigs! Shiver me Timbers! Haha just kidding, I’m a guy, so I insulted myself… T_T anyways there is a big blue sea of many fishy men waiting to be snatched by the mighty hook you are. Don’t give up, because if you do, I’ll be heart broken. You will probably wonder, “Why would this kid be heart broken?! Bahahaha” Because if you can’t do it, my inspirational model who has faced more in life than I, then how can I ever do it? I wish you find true happiness in the joy of life. I’m still searching for it, so please lead me to victory. <3

  • Syed Naqvi

    WOW! So many inspirational comments, I loved how everyone was helping each other out. Now that’s the kind of world I’d love to live in. But unfortunately, hate, war, chaos consumes most of our beautiful world. Keep doing it my role models! Keep spreading your blessings! <3

  • Dina

    This is one of the greatest posts I have ever read. Thank you so much. I am truly greatful!!!

  • Honey

    At age 15 I have a chronic illness that doctors know nothing about and I have to start schooling from home. I will never be able to work a full time job and my future is looking bleak…

  • test


  • mb

    awesome post..I am definitely looking forward to change my life completely ..I am 23 and I don’t have a job I don’t know where to go ..corporate job or something that I always wanted to do .society pressure and high standard of show off adds on to the frustration and I don’t know why people try to put others down and we actually get hurt by it , instead we should be thinking about our lives and how we want to live.. I hope we all find a better way to live our life to the fullest ..all the best people..START LIVING .:)

  • Susie

    I am so trapped and sucked dry, I can’t even answer these questions. Intelligent, successful, well paid, well respected ….. and I don’t even know who I am.

  • Mulubrhan Dagnew

    i do see the world is getting poisoned but when i say that, people say that i am negative. I do not see real happy people but sure many fake it? this is the question we all need to ask. Why reading LadyAngler , i remembered Charlie Chaplin greater speech…. i think he had a message for modern man

  • Yo niggas

    1. Your mum
    2. Your mum
    3. Your mum
    4. Your mum
    5. Definately not your mom.
    6. Myself.

  • Impulses

    Really nice! I am about to release an app about trying to find out what you really want. It shall be out soon.. :)

  • Viola Ash

    What is it to “Give”? Is there ever a “how much” or “how long” to it? And when does one know when to draw a line. . Between pleasure and pain?

  • Clarexiii

    What do you do when your answers to these questions continuously change? You change change paths every six months!

  • Lost for ever

    Hello I’m 50 yrs old I’m living in my brothers car I’m strung out of herion for last 4 yrs I’m lost now I’m in and out of prison in and out of hospital I’m so lonely every night I was so hungry I had to go steal food to eat the other night I miss my kids there growing up in front of me I all but gave up went as low as I ever been I keep waking up every morning why I think I’ve been saved for a purpose the last 8 months I’ve should be dead and really feel cheated At times I know my youngest child’s smile keeps me going thru hard times I keep hoping for this one big break and my life is going to change for the good live life happily ever after

  • Alicia

    I have the same problem with my parents. They always ask me what I want to do with my life, but when I tell them that I don’t want a normal job. They say I don’t know what I want and that I just need a job that a good amount of money. The problem is that I don’t care about the money and I can’t even try to talk to them about what to do after high school. Now when they ask I just say, “Oh, something business related,” but I know that’s probably a lie.

  • Derek Gallardo

    This is what I really needed to see today. Thank you very much.

  • Andrews

    Happiness is within……
    Those who find it ,,,,,,,,,,,,can live it……………
    Hope you are next

  • Victor

    WoW O_O , are you my soul mate? <3 . Loves nature, animals, fishing, outdoors, simple living, art, helping others and the ability to overcome many hard knocks in life and I'm 20. You are so awesome

  • GnAz

    I don’t feel any different, I must be dead inside.

  • KittyKat Minecraft

    Thanks you. Just thank you. I felt this way. You helped me find my music passion! I now take Viola, Piano, Gutiar, and I take Singing Lessons. I love music more than anything in the world. I was waiting for, well, the weekends! I never knew what I was capable of. If I make it big time, I’ll have you to thank.
    -Thanks, (don’t ever give up!) Kitty

  • laracameron

    THANKU SO VERY MUCH! i am a class 11 student and i a have medical but i was in a dilemma since the last two days as to what do i really want in life and just 20 minutes! it took just 20 minutes to know! these six questions told me what i really want in life….it’s how people i know could not help me…in the end it was just me and my inner voice who made the right dcision….thanku very much. you have no idea what you gave me…..just by asking six questions! :D :’)

  • Johnn

    I am 21 and currently failing my university degree because I hate it and it makes me miserable. I thought i was happy with the way everything went, until the summer after my first year at university. That summer and summer after that I went to USA to work at a summer camp. I loved the job, I enjoyed working with the kids coaching them kayaking, swimming, water skiing, climbing, building camp-fires, spending nights around camp-fire with kids and other staff, meeting new people, making unforgeable memories and experiences and knowing I did something for the kids this summer that they will remember and hopefully impact their lives in the future. It was the hardest but most rewarding job I had so far.

    This summer job opened my eyes to what actually matters to me in life. Screw my degree, screw well payed jobs and the “respect” everyone talks about that you get with it… None of that is going to make me as happy as the last two summers did. But since I like in the UK summer camps don’t really exist here. Also without being student I don’t think I can actually get visa to go work at camps in the future.
    My biggest dilemma is how can I make this into more than just a amazing summer. Even if I could get visa to go again, I will most likely be stuck in dead end job for the 10 other months, and no matter what job I get they wont just let me go to USA for 2 months…
    I answered most of the questions above, they all lead towards the summer camp. Its like the one place where I was truly happy which makes me really really worried and scared I wont be happy again until I go back.

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  • Shaeric

    I quit my job last August because I started getting severe anxiety/nausea/panic attacks at work because of the horrible people I worked with. I’m 25 and can understand the anxiety and being terrified to go
    back to work. I, too, thought of suicide (although I wouldn’t
    actually act on it) because it just seemed easier than
    living with constant social anxiety and panic and trying to figure out
    the path I want to go in with my life. “Society” puts ridiculous ideas in our heads that we feel we have to live up to (such as having a job at all times… or we’re useless) and the moment we think we aren’t living up to those ideals, we panic. The first step is to realize that these societal ideas aren’t real – they are totally made up, and for some reason everyone believes them but basically no one follows them – so we are all in a panic for no g** damn reason! I must say, it has been quite the long road trying to get myself back on track and away from the anxiety/panic – I can see from your post it’s taking you much longer. I know that the anxiety will always be there, it is just who we are and so many people go through it – so what I have been doing is putting myself slowly into situations that may give me anxiety/uneasiness to see if this will somehow reverse it. I’ve been realizing that it helps, because slowly I’m becoming desensitized to the world around me and I’m finally able to function in situations I didn’t think I would ever be normal in again, such as hanging out with my friends even – the anxiety was so bad I was nervous to see my best friends who have known me my entire life. The fears we build in our heads are completely non-realistic. Once we realize this, it helps slightly. Try getting out with more people….they say anxiety stems from many things, and isolation is one of them. You should try a job that isn’t too demanding and is very low pressure – maybe part-time work at an ice cream stand. Do you like kids? Try subbing at your local school, or working at a daycare. Can you draw? Start painting or drawing comics…who knows it could turn into a freelance business once people see your art. If you don’t want an overly-stimulating environment, why not apply to a job at a library? How about a job that requires you to be outside? Nature is the best reliever. I’ve been seeing a therapist as well and am now on anxiety/depression medication. Give it a try – I promise things will eventually look up….I still have hope. Good luck :)

  • ewing

    If I were to follow my heart, I’d die from hunger. Just sayin’. If your dream is to sell used cars or organize your own online business, you’ll be fine. But a lot of people have dreams that do not pay enough to live. Not everyone has a talent to be successful at their dreams either. Maybe banal platitudes help someone, but I find them annoying.