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Why Relationships Fail: 4 Tips to Make Love Last

In Love

“Happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors.” ~Dalai Lama

If you get married today, there is a 60% chance that your relationship won’t last. Is finding true love really that hard or is there something else going on?

A research group from the Heriot-Watt University found that many people have a “warped sense of the perfect relationship” and “unrealistic expectations from their romantic partner.” They concluded that they got these unrealistic expectations from Hollywood love stories.

These movies have us longing for a Cinderella or Prince Charming who will sweep us off our feet and make us happier than we have ever been. But can we really expect our partners to make us happy? Is that even fair to them?

When I figured out this wasn’t the right approach to a relationship, I had already been in two failed ones. “Failed” may not be the right word, because I don’t regret them and I’m still friends with both of my exes, but these relationships were based on needs, from both partners.

After the second relationship, I was single for a long time, and that’s when I started working on myself.

When I started to see some changes in myself and in my life, I felt the desire to have a girlfriend again. I mentioned this to my mentor, and he said, “It’s not the girlfriend you want; it’s what you think she can give you.”

This was a real eye opener for me.

I realized that this desire was my ego telling me there was something missing in my life and that I needed to find someone else to fill this gap for me. I didn’t have a person in mind yet, but I was already being unfair to her by expecting so much of her. I was demanding love.

Demanding Love Vs. Sharing Love

If you expect your partner to make you happy, you are demanding love. If you were happy when you were single, you’re more likely to be happy in your relationship. And when you’re happy, you can focus on “sharing your love” instead of “demanding happiness.”

Do you see how this can make a world of difference in your relationship? When you go from “needing” love, affection, and support to fill a hole in yourself, to “sharing” love and happiness from a place of fullness, your relationship (and life!) will blossom into something truly amazing and lasting.

The Love Illusion

Not expecting anything from your partner doesn’t mean you can’t rely on them for support. It just means you don’t depend on them to ease the discomfort of being with yourself.

Even if it seems like they do that for a while, the absence of discomfort will be an illusion. It’s like taking aspirin. You may not feel the headache anymore, but what caused the headache is still there.

If you don’t like to spend time with yourself, you most likely don’t really love yourself. And if you don’t love yourself first, you cannot sincerely love someone else—or let yourself be loved by someone else.

What “True Love” Really Is

When two people get together and start working on themselves—when they aim to grow together instead of avoiding growth by depending too much on each other—they build a connection on a higher level. Couples who understand that this is the greatest gift they can give each other will be the happiest couples; they will experience true love!

4 Tips for a Loving, Lasting Relationship

1. Love yourself First

Many people don’t realize that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings about themselves. Learning to love yourself will not only benefit yourself, but also your partner.

A couple of ways to start loving yourself in action:

The mirror exercise: Stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say, “I love you. I really, really love you!” Don’t just say the words; try to feel them. It may take some practice, but if you do this two or three times a day for a couple of minutes, you will feel the results!

Practice self-acceptance. You are a magnificent human being. You may have some flaws, but that’s okay. Everybody has flaws and we all make mistakes. You can learn from them, accept them, and even be grateful for them, because they have helped form the person you are today.

2. Choose to be happy.

True happiness comes from within. Nothing or no one can “make” you happy. When you are a happy person because you choose to be, this will rub off on your partner, or attract more potential partners if you are single. Being happy feels good on the inside and looks good on the outside!

A few ways to choose happiness every day:

-Practice gratitude and optimism. People who see the world optimistically see opportunities and love everywhere they go. There’s truth in the saying “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” Make a habit out of gratitude. When the sun shines on your face, when someone lets you cut in line, when someone smiles at you, say “thank you.” You don’t even have to say it out loud; thinking it will do just fine.

-Don’t let others determine how you feel. Try not to worry about what others say, think, or do—even if they talk badly about you. You can still respond to them, but don’t let it affect your level of happiness. The moment you get emotionally involved you have lost your inner peace.

-Accept your circumstances. You cannot control everything that happens in life. Sometimes, bad things happen. We cannot escape from this; we can only accept it. Choose to accept the circumstances you can’t change instead of causing yourself to suffer.

-Have fun! Find something you love to do and do it on a regular basis. For me, it’s snowboarding. Even though I’m physically exhausted after a day of snowboarding, mentally, I’m fully recharged.

-Meditate. Meditation was the foundation of my whole transformation process. I still meditate two hours a day. But if you are just starting out, fifteen minutes will do. Meditation will help you with all the points above; it will give you focus, mental clarity, and inner peace. It takes some practice, but if you put in the effort, the results will astound you.

3. Fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely.

Don’t compromise or get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. When you love yourself, you don’t mind being alone sometimes because you are spending time with your best friend. Ironically, being in a bad relationship can make you feel like the loneliest person in the world.

4. Do not lose yourself in a relationship.

Make time for yourself, pursue your own goals, and do things without your partner. Maintain a healthy balance between your personal time and your time together.

Putting yourself first in a relationship might seem strange at first, but it makes perfect sense. If you go into a relationship expecting your partner to make you happy, your partner might expect the same from you. Do you really want to be responsible for your partner’s happiness? That’s quite a responsibility to take on.

Wouldn’t it be much better if you and your partner entered a relationship and committed to becoming the best people you both can be while sharing your love with each other? No needs, no expectations, no obligations. Do you see how in a relationship like that, love has the freedom to grow into something truly amazing?

Photo by Paul H. Photography

Avatar of Guy Neyens

About Guy Neyens

is a meditation enthusiast who had to overcome quite a few challenges in his life. After rediscovering his inner peace and happiness, he is now dedicated to helping other people find theirs. You can read more on his brand new blog

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  • Amy

    Wonderful advice to live by. This has reminded me of why I chose to be single. Gotta cherish my time alone before I can be involved with someone else.

  • Rachel

    Hi! Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom with us! This article is coming at just the right time for me. I’m a few months out of a break up and learning to make the most of my time alone and grow as a person.

  • Vijayalakshmi04

    Having struggled with finding love, and having finally found it, I can really connect to what you’re saying here. Thank you!

  • priya

    Wow! I loved your post..
    The things you mentioned are so very true..deep down i always knew these things but i guess someone had to mention it to make me realize and accept it.. Thank you for showing me what true love really means and helping rediscover a whole new me.. :-)

  • friend forever


    This is such an amazing post. Firstly, the timing.

    “It’s not the girlfriend you want; it’s what you think she can give you.”

    This is so damn true!! What she can give you. What other people can give to me and I know, that time and again they have failed to deliver it. But, I still go on expecting.

    Although am not in a relationship but have been involved in spiritual work, I knew these points before. You have really written them with such great clarity and simplicity that the words and their meanings are hard to miss. I loved all of the tips you shared and I especially loved that you mentioned the way we can love ourselves and ‘choose’ happiness.

    I am really thankful to God that I got to read this post at this moment in time. I needed it and God knew it. The loving yourself part, anyway :)

    Cheers and wishes

  • Claude Lagang

    Very informative indeed! I need this today :)

    Thank you for posting this. Have a great day!

  • Lilly

    Excellent post! In deed, I very much agree & struggle with the 2nd one under “Choose to be happy” Gosh, its difficult, but very rewarding when achieved.

  • Guy Neyens

    Hi friend forever,
    thank you for your kind words. I’m glad the post was helpful to you!

  • Guy Neyens

    Sometimes all it takes is someone who remembers us of the things we already know :-)

  • Susan

    Great post! I need to remind myself of these tips often. I should wallpaper my room with tiny buddha posts :)

  • Dave Burney

    I’m both crushed and optimistic. I have been telling myself these same things as my twenty-year marriage crumbled. I’m now on my own and picking up the pieces, just learning how to be myself, by myself. I’m enlightened by the notion that I’m not the only one who sees that the key is to look for someone who compliments you – not someone who completes you. And we can’t begin that journey until we’re comfortable with who we are.

  • Razwana Wahid

    Losing oneself in a relationship, Guy – something I have done and know many others that have done the same. And yes I agree, the movies have a lot to answer for! But they are about escapism, and shouldn’t be used as a reference to real life, right??!!

  • a_distorted_reality

    What a wonderful post. Thank you, Guy. You’ve really hit the nail on the head. I used to do exactly that – try to find someone else to fulfil me because I thought that would solve all my problems! But it was only after I’d spent a significant period of time on my own, and learned to love myself, that I finally found real love.

  • Guest

    Dave – my story is by no means as tough as yours I can imagine, but my 3 year relationship ended months ago because it’s impossible to maintain when only one of you sees that as the key. I wish she did.

  • Goals Happen Here

    So true! We must love ourselves first and resolve our own issues before we’re ready to love someone else.

  • Lizza

    This is brilliant, Guy! Thanks for sharing!

  • Buddhadude


  • Mae

    You rock man.
    Fall in love when you’re ready,not lonely. Now this is something new and really very deep.(thumbs up)
    I think I just needed this..just to remind that I love myself…yah I do.
    Great share!
    waiting for more. :)

  • Maria

    There’s so much truth in what you say. Thank you for sharing it.

  • Eduardo

    Thank you! Ending a 9 year relationship hasn’t been easy. You have helped me to refocus.

  • kiyomi

    thank you so much. this was informative~ very true and wonderful. Thank you for taking your time to write this wonderful piece :) A great reminder. It is so true that media skews our images of love and the ‘perfect’ relationship. Thank you again :)

  • Solitude

    I really do not understand the point you are making in this post. I do agree that it is important to be complete in and of yourself, to be comfortable with and to love yourself. But if I am whole and complete and happy on my own, then what is the point of being in a relationship? If the people in a relationship don’t need and depend on each other, then what’s to stop them from walking away when things aren’t in their own best interest? Essentially, if I am placing myself first (which I think, in general is a good thing) when why would I ever want to give the same amount of love or attention to another person? What is the point of it?

  • Vid

    I dont belive in anything you say .. break up does not end in friendship ..if it does then one of the parties might still be having feelings .. what i have learnt is that love does not exist at all its only ‘expectations from sex’.

  • Tara Crowley Rinaldi

    love the article — timeless wisdom that needs to be told again and again. I just finished a great book which is about self-love and acceptance: Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. Cracked my heart wide open.

  • Guy Neyens

    Dealing with a break up like that must be very hard. Just think about this. If things start falling apart, the pieces most likely didn’t fit in the first place. You could even say that the pieces did not start falling apart, but started falling in place.
    This is an amazing opportunity for you to reconnect with yourself and the more you find yourself, or find the ‘guts’ to be yourself, the more beautiful things and beautiful people will find themselves on your path.

    Best of luck Dave!

  • Guy Neyens

    It doesn’t really matter how long your relationship lasted, the pain you feel is still the same.
    A good relationship requires both partners to be on the same level, or at least have the same idea about what a relationship is. When you notice that your partner isn’t on the same level as you are, sometimes you have to make the hardest decision. That doesn’t mean you don’t love him/her, it just means you need to be fair to yourself.
    So what you did was very brave!

  • lv2terp

    Beautiful post with wonderful points! Thank you for sharing your wisdom! :)

  • Guy Neyens

    Excellent questions.
    When two people enter a relationship in which they do not depend on each other, do not expect anything from each other AND are committed to their spiritual evolution, the kind of love they experience is a kind of love that most people never get to experience. They love on a higher level.
    Osho, one of the great masters said that just like in consciousness, there is a hierarchy in love, with ‘sex/lust’ being the lowest level and ‘pure compassion’ being the highest level.
    So, a good relationship can actually help you grow and teach you how to ‘love at higher level’.

  • Guy Neyens

    They should put that as a disclaimer on all the posters and trailers :-)

  • Guy Neyens

    What I have noticed is that after a break up, partners do need some time apart to figure things out. But then, after a while, they can be friends.

  • Kristi Sparks

    I love that point via/by Osho!! Wow, I have found that so true in my experience. Sex/desire is great but so temporary and can be the absolute worst cause of emptiness if the other levels aren’t being nourished.

    I have been joyfully learning all I can about compassion in the last few years after my divorce. Through a heartache last year and different recent dating experiences, I am enjoying how wonderful it is when I embrace a compassionate perspective instead of focusing on what I lack or resentful thoughts. If a relationship doesn’t work out, I’m left with a heart much more in-tact and can wish him on his way so much more easily!

  • Jeet

    I am with this amazing girl(kid), and she is my world. But I have to let her go, as she lited to me about her age, when she is a teen she told me she was 25. I fell madly in love with her, but now as I know her real age, I feel she is too young for a relationship with an older guy like me, I am 29. So, I feel terrible thinking a life without her, but slowly but surely I am falling out of love from her. I needed some good counselling, and this site is giving me that. I hope I can survive without her.

  • Atul Manchanda

    Nice teaching

  • Claude Lagang

    Very informative and true as well. To be able to get the love that you desired, you should love yourself first. It depends upon on how you value yourself.

    Thanks for posting this! :)

  • Adrianna

    Very interesting and helpful! Thanks!

  • Samsara

    I am very good friends with my ex-husband and there are no romantic feelings whatsoever; he is very happy in his long-term relationship with his new girlfriend and I am absolutely happy and in love with my current husband of five years. My ex and I were smart enough to realize that we were brought together for a reason; we mistakenly thought it was to be partners, but it turns out that it was only to be friends. My current husband and I do a lot more than have sex, lol. He reads poetry to me, we paint together, meditate together and we have lengthy, philosophical discussions. Sex is just a bonus but not the driving point behind our love. If my husband was unable to have sex or vice versa, we would happily stay together because there is more to our relationship than a physical connection. We are more spiritually connected than anything. What you have experienced is very unfortunate and I hope one day you see the real side of love.

  • Esther

    I’m not sure if an obvious to me is being completely acknowledged here…that while we seek to serve and have no demands on love spiritually, on an emotional psychological level we(humans) gravitate to(fall in love with) patterns that mirror what we experienced somewhere in childhood in order to resolve the pain of them. So as humans we have needs and ways of loving and feeling loved that need to be acknowledged and filled. (The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman). And as Dr. Harville Hendrix(“Getting The Love You Want” and “Keeping The Love You Find” and IMAGO Therapy) explains it, if we can become aware of our stuff(defining and healing our childhood wound), begin to work on it AND CHOOSE a partner in love that is ALSO aware of their wounds and committed to growing and mutual healing THEN an opening of spiritual unconditional loving can come forth. It is not always the easiest process I am told, but to watch people who have done the work individually and then together through to fruition is inspiring. The love and peace in their eyes, the obvious level of comfort being honest(because they have or are working to heal the past wounds and conflict is no longer threatening) with each other because no one is running away and there is total acceptance is touching and stunning. Just wanted to acknowledge the mental emotional aspects from a childhood patterning view. All of it ultimately still falls into a spiritual realm for sure. :-) Just noting.

  • Virginia Tse

    Great read! Nearly all the stuff you wrote about- I do so myself. :) I cherish my time alone and often times travel alone. It’s definitely true that you gotta love yourself first. Thanks for this inspiring post.

  • Lady

    I don’t think it means youre puttin yourself first. It simply means you’re giving without expectations. And in turn, there needs to be a healthy balance which is why two people should be on the same level. Because no one deserves to be sad, right?

  • Linda =)

    Loved your article! Cheers =)

  • Karen Levin

    I was trying to leave a post here and instead it ended up on my wall attached to the link I was sharing. It won’t let me cut and paste my post. My view was from a different perspective though….wish you could read it: from the view point of how to use this for a relationship I thought could NEVER make it because we are now it separate states. And how I would like to try and use these practices (because I have already started myself) to try and gain a better life/ relationship for us both (and individually) via personal happiness once we are able to be back together.

  • Sandeep Kr. Sarma

    Thanks a lot for these simple tips which everyone can follow…please post some good tips about how to do meditation to calm our disturbed minds..thanks again.

  • mainiacbrainiac

    you can do it. I did after 22 years of marriage and if I can, anyone can. once you have liberated yourself by finding yourself, you will wonder how you ever lived so long without you!

  • Lea Johnson

    Well said, thank you. Check out the TEDtalk featuring Esther Perel’s research – I found her insights on successful long-term relationships in in today’s world were interesting – Prince Charming effect and all.

  • Alicia Marie

    What a great post. I think many people go into a relationship thinking that whatever issues the other person has can be worked on and then the relationship can be a happy one. Often times these individuals will even see it as their mission to help their partner through this. I was actually reading a study the other day though, discussing how those who believe that people are able to change and improve themselves through effort actually get more frustrated when a romantic partner promises to change something but only partially follows through. The former often attributes this non-change to lack of effort on their partner’s behalf. I really do believe that being in a place of emotional stability and contentment, feeling that you are in a position in which you can give to a potential partner, is key. For both individuals involved. Otherwise someone will always get bitter. As you said, it’s simply not fair.

  • Malvis

    Please advice how long it take, if he don’t want to apart some time to figure things out. But use role of friend as an excuse to contact you. Beside that, how come make a friend after break up because one of the parties still have feeling.

  • Karisa

    This article was excellent!! I really connected with the themes here.

  • Chrystina Noel

    I love the statement “fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely”. I realized that statement in this past year, and since then I’ve been a much happier camper being single.

  • Anony

    Hmmm…I was with a so-called Buddhist who used me and treated me very badly. When I addressed his behavior he came back with “I’m not responsible for your feelings.” I explained he was responsible for his actions that created my feelings.

    I agree that we should be with someone when we’re ready, not lonely. Being lonely set me up for this jerk to take advantage and boy, did he ever. After a couple of months, I ended it. It was hard because I had to let go of the illusion. My ego took a bad bruising but at least I was able to love myself enough to get away. Far away!

    On that point, self-love is necessary and healthy. Unfortunately, I think too many people take it too far and become selfish and narcissistic. It’s their way or no way. They don’t seem to take the other person’s feelings into consideration. They act entitled. Their actions no matter how bad they are, are defensible in their “perfect” view of themselves. I’m seeing less accountability in people and their actions.

  • Dromeda

    I agree that you need to love yourself before you love someone else. But honestly, how can you call it true love if you don’t put your partners needs first sometimes? Also, no obligations or expectations? So you’re not obligated to be faithful?

  • Alex

    Yes good advice. Honest, but good.

  • Dan

    Wow! Both your posts are amazing. Bookmarked both!
    Thankyou :)
    this post came at the perfect time for me. It was as if deep down I knew all this but reading it was highlighting it to me as in “ahh yes! That is so true!”

    What type of meditation do you recommend to start off with? Or how to start?

  • tnxm

    no you cannot do that you just have to beg them or you must tell her you love her
    nothing to be shy just kiss her don’t be shy if not stay harmble no need to get a girl friend ok

  • tnxm

    you cannot get girl friend because it is not harmble and then when you marry
    you will get a lot of problem later they will have affair so don’t get marry and you can
    spend all the money do your own thing is that nice do don’t get marry

  • tnxm

    you cannot get marry yes he love you is just you must be more understand and you must see check your self first may you are too good to be true and then you must tell you wife that what happened
    say I love you forever please forgive me just make her scared
    then later she will want her brave husband back go to the in the roof and
    jump so that got noise then she will call you back and you scold her
    and she will beg you ok try it out it will work. good

  • tnxm

    yes you must try also

  • tnxm

    hi Excellent questions
    why we really want to get marry when ever thing we must do own self ?

  • tnxm

    you are not too old just 4 year ma so you are madly in love with her then go ahead
    before you MISS THE BOAT hurry hurry

  • tnxm

    magala sutta it very nice you can call the person at 0162981316 he is very well manner ok bye

  • Emma Nicole Risley

    Wonderful post and great questions everyone. I had a previous relationship of 5 years and knew him for 10. Together we were wildly passionate about each other. He opened me up to many things and showed me how to truly love but then the tragic break up happened while we were traveling and I being my selfish self decided to focus on me and just have fun. I was covered up with activities to keep me from thinking about how badly I missed him and here a year and a half later in a new relationship am still thinking about him and contacting him. We long for each other still after all this time. SO my question here is how do I find the answer….Do I take a break from everything to focus on me even though it means hurting others?

  • Kim Unertl

    Yes, take your break! You can explain you need this time to heal with out hurting others because they should be able to respect that as you would do for them. Don’t put it off too long (years) like I did and push everyone away with out really understanding why it seemed right to do so until I understood my toxic mindset.

    Hope that could help!

  • Claudia

    I know this is late however I have went through the worst most tragic break up of my life. I read this and I recall the other day when I told him I loved him more than myself. I was sure of myself and I loved my life before I met him. However once i met him I couldn’t pass up such a perfect fit for me. It was bliss at first it was the highest high when I was with him. Eventually I started to feel incomplete when he wasnt around. Like my soul wasn’t right when he wasn’t with me even if he was in the next room. I now believe I began depending on him for happiness. He was the best thing I had in my life. I moved back to school last week and the whole week was torture for me. I told him on the phone how depressed I felt without him. We talked about how much we loved each other. Then all of a sudden 2 days ago he ended it. I finally calmed myself down enough to talk to him a few hours ago about what happened. He said our relationship wasnt healthy anymore. That he knew I was depending on him for my happiness and even though he loves me that it was necessary. I felt so empty without him and now that he isnt mine for good like the torment is literally too much to bare. He wants to aid me through this process bc a girl before had done the same thing for him. He is very wise and very sure of himself and I do not hate him for breaking up with me bc he is the clearest thinking person I know. I know its not bc I did anything wrong, it’s just because we weren’t on the same levels. I just don’t know though because i feel like I didnt depend on him for just happiness, I depended on him for those feelings. The feeling of forgetting my problems and how perfect and at peace I was with him. I couldn’t see myself with any other person. He made me the happiest. But i was able to be happy without him when I was with friends or went out. So I mean is that still not healthy? and should I let him help me get through this if he knows whats best and I have no hard feelings towards him just a broken broken super broken heart?

  • Streina

    I’m in that situation now (long distance) and I’m trying to work it out (though it’s really tough). We broke up last week then got back together hoping we could fix everything together. He’s like your ex boyfriend, too. He knows this relationship isn’t healthy anymore and it really makes me sad. We just promised to still be together as he helps me into this.

  • Liz

    Speaking from experience, Jeet, you really should let her go. I was the younger woman in a relationship (he was 13 years older), and I was thrilled that an older, successful man was attracted to me. He was proud to have me on his arm. But the older I got, the more I wanted to experience other people and places, which is a natural process. Let her grow and mature without you and see what the future holds for you both. I wish you good things…

  • Seriously

    so many men and women these days just can’t be committed to one another anymore.

  • Glenna Mercado

    yes guys are just supposed to be sex on legs while you have a career

  • Very Seriously Speaking

    why are there so many very mean and nasty women out there that are making it very difficult for us good serious guys looking to meet a good woman today, and it certainly seems that the nastiest women are everywhere nowadays that are the problem now.

  • Kelley

    So true and exactly what I was telling my ex when we broke up a couple of months ago. He told me that I was what made him happy in the relationship but he was not getting this point. If you look to your partner for your happiness then when they do or don’t do something, you get overly hurt by their actions which caused the fight that broke us up. He cried for 6 weeks trying to get me back, then as soon as he met another woman he dove right into a relationship with her.

  • Kimberly Neal

    Oh my stars! Thank you. Finally, I’m on the right path to healing my head and my heart..I was demanding love..I see it now. I gave a job to someone…unfairly. I’m still learning at 48!

  • Soozie

    “No needs, no expectations, no obligations.”? Easier said than done,Guy. I’m not necessarily being negative but just being real and practical. In today’s world, relationships without these three things just CANT WORK. These things creep in. They do. Like the inevitable.

  • gayatri

    Tips for loving and lasting relationship-
    what you’ve said is true. Love yourself, but after loving someone truly .. we forget to love ourself and deeply we’ll be thinking of only them. This is what i’ve done and now i’m suffering and feeling lonely , when i’m getting any love or care in return and atleast no concern.
    So after reading your article , what i came to know is ; i need to love myself and get habituate to meditation, which i believe that , again i could be happy in my life , aftert long time!

  • Marina Ratmansky

    Great Blog,

    These relationships tips provide the best way to overcome the differences and conflicts and helps to solve relationship issues like misuse of man power and violence it is the
    best place .We can solve all relationship issues in your life with little

  • gaga

    i love my baby yup yup i love my chick

  • Fml

    My girlfriend is nothing but obligations needs and expectations, i was actually working on the goals above before i read this, good shit tho


    My girlfriend is expecting needy and i am totally so many obligations what to do.

  • melony

    Hello i am Melony from Sweden,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another man,l in a couple of months ago,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Dr IRABOR the great spell-caster,I narrated my problem to Dr IRABOR about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was apologizing for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to plead for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i apply for to work as a manager,I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr IRABOR at the following email address and get all your problems solved..No problem is too big for him to solve.Email him,and all your problems will be solved and you will be glad at last.

  • dsimplelady

    Thank you. . This article actually helped me abt my current situation

  • Ams

    i reaaly liked these thoughts I gained a perspective which i never had

  • G

    I agree with Lady When you love yourself it’s easier to love someone else because you’re not preoccupied with worrying about your self worth, and Dromeda a person’s level of faithfulness shouldn’t be based on obligation and self love, it should be based on respect.

  • The Truth

    Communication and compatibility is a plus.

  • matta

    Thanks for making my family happy again, my father came back home and he can even take us out, something he never think of before! i wonder Dr egbenakhue are you god or what? amazing you make things happen! i will .Thank you very much. from Holland if you need his help contact email address Dr

  • leena
  • Justin Alias

    I want to say thank you to a man who help me got back my love (My wife christy), it was all my fault ,I never cared for her, what ever she does is an advenue to matreat her, I am easily irritated, I have this hot temperament towards her,I always beat her for no reason, some times I just feel like beating her. But despite all these she never raised her voice, instead she tries to calm me down. There was even a day her mother came with police to arrest me because I beat up her daughter, but she warned her mother to stay off her marriage.

    To worsen the situation I brought another woman (Mariam) into our matrimonial home, and when she confronted me about the issue I beat her up, their and then she reminded me of when we were still dating when she said the only thing that can make her go angry with her husband is if he disrespects her to the extent of bringing another woman into her matrimonial home and that I just did. JUst like a joke she packed all her things and she left, I did not even bother to stop her because I thought she would come back. I was still with this other woman (Mariam) but she is different woman entirely from Christy, she is not the calm type , if I shout at her she shouts back and even insults me telling me she is not my wife who takes all my nonsense.

    A day came she insulted me and because of my temper I beat her and she called the police on me and told me never to come close to her again. Then it became clear to me that I have to look for Christy and appologise to her, because no matter what christy would never call the police on me, at this point tears fell from my eyes thinking of all the wrong things I have done to her.After I was released from police custody I went to look for Christy in her mother’s house.

    I tried convincing her to come home on several occasions that I am a changed man but she refused and said I should stop coming to see her. I became worried and someone told me to contact and I when I did the man told me that my wife would return in 2 days. To greatest suprise my wife came back to me in 2 days as promised by this wonderful man, we are living happily. Thanks to this wonderful man, you can also contact him on

  • Kite Monica

    I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Trust When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Trust i was able to get my lover back after 24hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr. Trust on these contact details below for proper understanding of what i have just witness. And i promise that he will help you as he help me.

  • aryan

    I loved the line love when u r ready but not when u feel lonley…. one line really an eye opener for me thank you

  • Honestly Speaking

    Well most marriages would certainly last much longer if there weren’t so many women Cheating today, and many women are Not faithful anymore like they were in the past when they Accepted their men for who they were when money wasn’t an issue like many of them are looking for today.

  • Wally

    This all makes since and to put into practice is hard especially since my marriage is going on 25 years. My scenario resulted in my wife having an affair and found that out while traveling as a family of 7 while on one of my sons sporting events. I was devastated, hurt and was furious at the time. I continue to feel it was my fault and can’t help but to ask myself what I could have done differently. I truly thought we would be together for eternity and really feel lost as to what steps to take next. Any recommendations especially since this has happened over a year ago and we are still legally married although we are not communicating other than what’s involving the 5 kids?

  • Summer

    Number 3 really resonates with me. This past year I have learned the difference between being alone and lonely. Thank you for the post, lovely words to read!

  • Aias

    I love this article. I even read it several times. Thank you for sharing it! It is definitely something what I am facing now…It was always in my mind but sometimes you have to hear it from somebody alse.

  • lilly

    Sound advice! It really works. I was recently single for six months after a series of bad relationships. Those six months were the best time of my life. I had so much fun focusing on my own interests and taking time for myself. My confidence was so magnetic that I was turning down men left and right. Without trying, I met a kind man. For the first time in my life, I’m in a healthy relationship. Life is good.

  • Angela

    I hate you :-( How were you able to stay friends with any of your exes?!

  • Lidia Mckinney

    How I Get Back My Lovely Husband MYRAL
    HI AM Lidia DA Sanchez’s, Am from Madrid Spain . with this great tears of joy and happiness in my heart today I want to give an unlimited thanks to this man Called DR IKHINE of and also share my testimonies with this great man on how I was able to get my husband and my kids back to my arms once again after two years and after I thought all hope was lost in getting back my family well and happy today I have my family back and I want to say to the whole world what would I have done if not for DR IKHINE that I saw a testimony share on the internet by miss MICHELLE FROM USA and I also contacted this man for help and he also did my own for me and to day am back with my husband MYRAL DA SANCHEZ,S and my kids are happy with us. Am very happy today and I want to say to everyone on this site that I will always remain thankful to this man DR IKHINE of for all this he has done for me, thanks to you once again DR for am grateful to you and will always be and you can also contact him on +2347060552255 for urgent response.

  • ardianto sony

    Great Post…. thank you, i had lost myself a year ago when my father died and my girlfriend of 2 years left me..

    i will choose to be happy and gratitude all the things in my life.


  • Viriya

    Thank you, Tiny Buddha!


    Thank you Dr.Paul for helping me to reunite my relationship just within the period of 48 hours. I can still remember those period when i was having problems with my lover but today through the help of your great powers i am having joy in my relationship.thank you very much Dr Paul you can contact him for help through his email

  • MarkG

    I must say I agree with Anony and not all of this article.”Unfortunately, I think too many people take it too far and become selfish and narcissistic. It’s their way or no way. They don’t seem to take the other person’s feelings into consideration. They act entitled. Their actions no matter how bad they are, are defensible in their “perfect” view of themselves. I’m seeing less accountability in people and their actions”.
    There is loving yourself to be able to fully love others then there is being in love with yourself where you cannot ever let anyone in. The latter being a narcissists dream. Do not take this article to heart, I think it could be as damaging as enlightening.

  • JoynHappiness

    This is a great article! Even for those who aren’t searching for love. Making time for friends and then personal time for yourself. I like this… I’ll start practicing happiness.

  • RobOnBusiness

    Hi Guy,
    Thanks for the interesting article. I have problem with “love”. I’ve come to understand that my difficulties in a relationship are about my expectations, and I’m trying to arrive at a decision about which ones are “appropriate” and which aren’t. The more I read about love, the more it seems there are not to be any expectations at all! For me, though, being in love and loving go hand in hand in a relationship with your chosen partner. And, I can’t help but feel that in the giving of myself in intimacy, both emotionally and sexually, the other party should respond in respect by loyalty to me, as I expect myself to be for them. Is there then not any faithfulness to be expected, and one can expect the other to become intimate with any other they choose at any time they feel it is “good”and “loving” for them? And if there is any degree of faithfulness acceptable, what is its basis then, in the face of the assumption that we are to “let go” of each other, and let each other “love” themselves as they see fit?

  • Guest

    Nice article all the points are practical and we should follow them

  • Josh pellicer

    all the points are relevant and practical and we should all follow them if we need a good relationship lot of people forget these points

  • Mellisa Hannah

    Hello my friend trying and read this testimony how this great man help me to get back my wife, my wife left me because we had a little quarrel i try to pleading to her but she did not listing to me she left me with my son,and my son love is mother so he keep asking me to call back is mother,i try to call her back but she will say that she is not going to come back me my son will try and talk to her but she will say that she is not going to come back so i did not know what to do so one day i see my friend name Anthony who told me that he is happy with is wife that how is my friend i was sad the way i ask him he now ask me what is the problem,i now told him he now told me to smile that my problem is solve that dr ukpoyan will help me to get back my wife so he now call him,dr ukpoyan told me that my lover is going to come back to me he now told me to call him letter that he should do some prayer, after some minutes he now call me and told me that my lover is going to came back with 10hours he now told me that i should go home and wait for her that i should cook for her so i now went home do as he ask me to do it,in the next 9 hour i had a knock on my door when i open my door i found out that it was my wife she was smile to me that she is back home my son was happy and today i want to tell others about this great man who can help then with there problem thanks to dr. ukpoyan for help me you can email him on is email

  • SinglesAdvice


    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
    distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the
    flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
    Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
    programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then
    installed undesirable programs such as : NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs
    4.1 Al so Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply
    crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to
    fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?




    First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command:
    ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget
    to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed,
    Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
    and Flowers 3.5.

    However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
    to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note
    that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and
    Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law
    1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control
    of all your system resources.)

    In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0
    program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
    memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
    buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
    recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck!

  • Jacyln

    I really needed to read this today. My 3 1/2 year relationship just ended 2 months ago but I’ve been clinging to it and have been miserable. Reading this made me realize that I am missing all 4 of these things in my life right now. I don’t love myself and have horrible self esteem. I’m choosing to be unhappy instead of letting it go and moving on with my life (the relationship needed to end, it was extremely unhealthy). I fell in love with him very quickly even though he told me he never wanted a relationship and didn’t see a future with me. You’re right, at times I was more lonely when he was right next to me. I completely lost myself in the relationship and put him first. I did what he wanted, when he wanted even if it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I’d wait around for him to wake up on weekends instead of going and doing something on my own. I stopped doing things with my friends and tolerated his even though they were not good people.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this! I know I need to pick myself up and brush myself off. I’ll be printing this out and hanging it on my fridge as a reminder to slow down and think before jumping in again. And when my gut and that little voice in my head says “this is right!” I will listen this time.