I know that he is of some very small denomination of Christianity, so when we had talked about our different beliefs, which was in the beginning, I don’t understand why it wasn’t then that he would’ve said hey maybe this isn’t going to work out. But I think that monklet80 has a point. It doesn’t really matter what the beliefs are, and I guess as much as I want to fully understand this whole situation, it’s not going to help me move forward to keep investigating. I guess it’s just been difficult having to physically be in his presence. I’ve been doing a lot to keep myself moving forward but I guess with time it will get easier to see him. I’ve just never experienced such sudden and harsh heartbreak before, so I’m just going through a lot of thoughts and feelings over it.

Hello anita.

I met with him today at a park nearby. It was a sad, yet much needed talk. He basically explained that he felt he was not being true to himself with me, and that if our relationship were to continue, it would feel like he was pretending to be someone he’s not. I expressed my feelings to him, letting him know that I was hurt, confused, and upset, but we discussed all of these things with level heads and came to an understanding of each other. He told me that he feels terrible for doing this to me, and that he owed this talk to me. He asked me to forgive him, which I did, despite still feeling hurt and going through this process of healing and learning. I told him that he needs to forgive himself as well, because in that he can heal and grow from this experience. I told him that despite everything, I still care for him and that I am always here should he ever need someone to talk to. He also told me that if I ever need to express any feelings or just need to let anything out, he is there to listen. We had some small talk before and after the conversation, and upon leaving gave each other a hug goodbye. Maybe eventually down the road, we can be friends once we have both healed from this. Even though I am truly sad and wish that this was not the way things were, I feel much more accepting of the situation and that I can now truly begin to learn and move on from this experience. He will always hold a place in my heart, and I hope that I also hold a place in his.
I am glad that I gathered the courage to reach out to him and talk about what happened. Thank you for your advice and kindness towards me during this difficult time. I appreciate your support greatly and will certainly learn from this life experience. 🙂

Hello anita,

From what I understand, his religion follows teachings of celibacy before marriage. He and I did become physically intimate with each other during our time together. We had both made sure that we felt comfortable with each other at that point, so neither of us were hesitant or expressed any feelings of second thoughts about it. When he was explaining his reasoning for breaking things off, he stated that he had been very devout and faithful throughout high school, up until about a year ago, until he and his ex-girlfriend split. It was then that he said he felt that he strayed away from these beliefs and his faith, and now he’s been having thoughts about living his life through his faith again. Since he’s been sitting with these thoughts, he felt that it would not be fair to me to ask for us to stop the physical intimacy between each other. Although I do appreciate him wanting to respect my beliefs, which are not traditional, I feel like he was making an assumption at this, because the relationship meant more than just the physical connection we shared.

As far as the visit with his parents, they were both very nice and friendly. His parents are divorced and he lives with his father and then visits his mother occasionally. From what I gathered, he is much more emotionally close to his mother. He also has a sister who lives away in another state. I have not met her, but from what I can tell he is very close with her as well.

With the bachelor party, all I know is that they had spent the weekend away in a house, but from the way his personality is and how he described his friends, I do not suspect any kind of infidelity or anything of that nature. I do know that his friends are religious, since he did attend a prayer group once a week and also did a lot of work with youth groups. I am wondering if maybe some discussion occurred during this time with his friends that could have made him think about the relationship in regards to their beliefs and faith.

I am very undecided in how to go about this, because I am also wondering if I should perhaps give this time and maybe see if he reaches out to me. I would not want to wait too long and miss the opportunity to possibly rekindle this, or at least let him know that I am here if he ever needs someone to talk to, and that my feelings for him have not changed because of this.