Thank you for responding mimicus. I used this as an opportunity to get deeper into the root of my issues surrounding security and things. The funny thing is, after diving into it, I’m over it. I remembered that whenever this sort of thing happens it’s because my money is needed for other things. Sure enough, I need it for something that I NEED. of course I want it too, but need it more, it’s something essential, and that money will be much better spent elsewhere — did I mention that I already had a set of the books that I missed bidding on? A different edition, and not as ‘attractive’. But, still, hardcovers and very old and the same content as the ‘prettier’ ones. I don’t need TWO SETS, regardless of how beautiful they are. I buy books for mental profit, not so I can stare at them on a shelf, and not because of their resale value commercially. The profit I receive is improved writing and increased knowledge. SO! What I did was took Will’s advice and used the money for a variety of books that I don’t already have. Several authors that I don’t already have and because of this ‘snafu’, this is even better, I was able to discover FOUR new amazing writers that I would never have found if it had not been for this and for Will’s suggestion to get something in place of the books that will make me happy. And this makes me MUCH MUCH happier! (When I learn of new authors, it’s literally like I am flying over the moon). I was on Amazon ready to purchase two authors that I have been dying to read, and since they always ‘suggest’ new books to you while you are shopping based on your shopping experience, I began scouting around and reading previews of different authors. Man! I scored big time! I actually got chills! I keep checking Amazon now to see when they will arrive! I discovered FOUR new authors that I didn’t know existed, and after reading previews of the books, I just can’t tell you how excited I am. SO, end of story, the books that I ‘missed’ out on were pretty, but now I am getting some that are going to enhance my writing life, and that is THE most important thing to me in the world! Woohoo!

• This reply was modified 9 years ago by constantly growing.
• This reply was modified 9 years ago by constantly growing.

Hi Kyniska. Thank you for responding. I never thought about it that way — about having lost something or someone of immense value to me. The thing is, I lost EVERYONE in my life when I was young. Mother, father, my whole family. We were torn apart by dysfunction, and when I left home, I never looked back. It’s funny, when I was young, some of my few fond memories were antiquing with my mother and grandmother and aunt. It was the only thing that made those three women happy. They would search for weeks for a specific thing and become so angry when they couldn’t find it, or if someone else got it. It would practically destroy my grandmother and aunt (my mother was not like that though). I think I attach happiness to finding something precious that no one else can have. Like, a replacement for my childhood or the people in my childhood.At then end, I have to think to myself ‘if there was a fire, you would lose it’, or, ‘there are a million people in the world that didn’t get the book either’. Eventually I do let it go. But it takes some tremendous power. So thank you for suggesting a root to something deeper. It’s odd. If I had gotten them, I would have been thrilled, but I would have put them on my shelf and probably not read them for a long time, or thought about them much after that. Not that I wouldn’t have appreciated them, but I think the acquisition is where I feel a certain power or a sense of completion…