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How to deal with a difficult sister?

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  • This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by Inky.
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  • #73492
    Jasmine
    Participant

    I am a single divorced parent 24 year old woman, my son just turned two. I went threw a nasty divorce but gained full custody over my son, during the process my sister and I have had a falling out I will try and make this as short as possible. I left my ex because right before we where about to move out of state he punched me in my stomach, he wanted me to stay skinny and supposedly being pregnant wasn’t in his plans after much counseling I found out he was a psychopath my sister let him eat at her house and talked to him while pushing me aside she consoled the man who hurt me and my son a day after the incident. So I moved in with my mom I had no job no car because when I left I left with nothing. My sister made comments about me rubbing my belly saying I am going to make my son gay by doing this, I did not understand why she was saying this stuff. After I had my son when he was only 2 months old she said you should be careful he may pee in his face and like it to my 2 month old son! I was disgusted and until this day I am disgusted my conseler has told me to let go of this relationship but in the back of my head I can’t I am not sure if it because I am protecting my mothers feelings for my sister or what? Mind you my sister and I are 10 years apart and she has two kids, who hit on her punch her dance way to provocatively, she even sat and watch Godfather with them and their 5 and 6. But since I had my son I have started school working towards my bachelors buying my house next year and I have a State job, she has called me broke which I am not, jealous which I am not and much more. I have had people tell me she may be jealous because I left my ex husband and she wished she could leave her husband because he cheats and hits her. But it hurts me to think of her in such a nasty light, she has made various comments about my son and myself when I bring it up to her to resolve issues she says I’m to sensitive. I am trying to be spiritual and calm, but it is so hard when you have people knocking you down, I can’t get what she said out of my head about my son, Those words keep going through my head it hurts so bad and I want to move past this please if any one has advice, help!

    #73576
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine,

    She probably still views you as a kid sister. Literally. By getting married, getting a divorce, and having a baby all so young, you have essentially become her peer. She took your (ex)husband in because she doesn’t take you seriously, takes him seriously, and can maintain her current role.

    The way to get out of this situation is to Get Out. Nothing creates distance like distance. Once you get your own place (forget a house, get a small apartment for now) stay away from her. And your Mom, the family lynch-pin. Visit them at holidays and see how that goes. Don’t offer sister ammunition. Be polite and quiet. See what the vibes are. Let her wear herself out, talking. The kids, by virtue of their existence, unfortunately, might contribute to the competition.

    One year, or one decade, your sister may see you as a peer.

    Sorry you’re going through this,

    Inky

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