fbpx
Menu

"I'm not angry, but I feel anger"

HomeForumsEmotional Mastery"I'm not angry, but I feel anger"

New Reply
Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #66591
    Todzilla
    Participant

    This is the mantra I am trying to internalize.

    I feel anger at myself and my spouse. At myself, for thinking unconditional love would bring specific responses of loyalty and kindness from my spouse. At her, for responding to my attempts to please her with cruelty and hurtful words and actions.

    I’m trying to get outside of the anger, understand it, but not own it.

    Sometimes it seems easy. Other times, so difficult.

    #66594
    Matt
    Participant

    Todzilla,

    I think I can see what you’re aiming at, and a few things came up as I read your words. Consider, what makes it anger? What makes her cruel? For instance, if you came across a fox with a leg caught in a trap, would you expect it to lovingly thank you for trying to help in untangling her foot? Or would you expect it to snarl and slash? To the conditionally loving, the fox appears cruel to them. To the unconditionally loving, the fox appears in quite a snit, certainly, but understood, forgiven, seen through, weathered, normal, usual. What scratches? Their claws pass right through, maybe a grunting breath, but its not about you, no biggie.

    Consider, the anger is perhaps like your body yelling “how dare you be so caught up and snarling?”, which closes off your intuition, makes it harder to see the trap. The need she has that fuels her lashing, where instead of pouring passion, she’s blazing it outward. To reframe her many lashes, consider them like “You love me? Bullshit.” She may paint it in other words, but that’s probably pretty close to the center.

    With warmth,
    Matt

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.