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  • #69497
    shreya indulkar
    Participant

    i am 20. i have had a rough past concerning both family and friends. after my father recently remarried (like 6 years ago) for the first time in my life i had family i could love and respect.
    my problem is im TOO focused on gaining friends and sometimes can try to b ppl pleasing. at the start i enjoy amazing friendship but just cant seem to sustain them.
    i am pretty, a nice person, interactive, fun loving , caring and sensitive
    but i had undiagnosed adhd for 10 ish years(this year i came to know) also i have very very low selfconfidence. i am too emotional and not only cause pain to ppl i love bu to myself. i dont speak for myself. majorly because when someone is mean i just cant formulate anything to give back to them.
    i want to change my greatest fear – that im unlovable and will end up alone in life
    i want to b someone that i can respect ……..that i would love to b with.
    but its so difficult. i cant seem to function well
    can anyone help me?

    #69503
    K
    Participant

    Hello, Everyoneisbeautiful

    Know that you are not alone. Like a Phoenix you can rise out of the ashes. With an open mind, please check out FLYlady.net, she helped me so much with my ADHD disorganization that I came to understand was a huge problem in my life and was causing a lot of my stress and self hatred. Then when you have a chance google Renee Wade, I found what she has to say extremely empowering. This post may sound like a commercial but these two sites really helped me start out on “a good path” while I was on an emotional rollercoaster and had to quit my anti depression meds cold turkey because of financial reasons. Hope that helps, sorry I can’t say much more because I am a mom of two small children. Best wishes!

    #69519
    Yue
    Participant

    Hi everyoneiabeautiful,

    One if the challenges of growing up is finding out who we are and be proud of it. One of the things you should recognise is that no matter what a great person you are, not everyone is going to like you. Similarly, you are not going to like everyone you come across so instead of spending energy on cultivating the good opinions of these people, listen to your intuition. If someone is mean to you, it is not necessary to always necessary to have a sassy come back. Simply tell the other person how they make you feel and you would be surprised how they respond. If that person use this to hurt you further, he/she is not someone you want to spend more time with anyway.

    In the mean time do what you love, travel the world and experience new things. People are most attractive when they are happy and live consistent to their values.

    #69530
    davidgoliat
    Participant

    I know feeling different from others can be tricky. But remember, theres always two different sides about everything. So if you’re in a situation where you’re feeling sorry for your rareness, try to change your focus on the benefits of having that rareness.

    I dont know your case well enough to understand how hard it can be sometimes, but trust me. Change the way your dealing with stuff, you can choose the way you respond to everything. What are the benefits of being you? What can you provide to YOURSELF? 🙂

    I would think it like this: Rare/different = one of a kind, interesting. ADHD = Creativity, focus, fast problem solver and decision taker.

    I hope you can relate to what I’ve written 🙂

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by davidgoliat.
    #69812
    BenzRabbit
    Participant

    Hi EIB:

    You are young and have your life ahead of you – I can tell you that you WILL NOT end up alone – trust the Universe !

    You have identified your problem: low self-esteem – which comes from not being loved/treated right !!

    Here are links to 2 short articles that will help:

    1) http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Worth

    2) http://rohan7things.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/how-to-overcome-loneliness-and-a-fear-of-being-single/

    Also, listen to this one song called ‘You are loved’ by Josh Groban – here is the link:

    God bless !

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