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What is true love? Tell me your story.

Homeโ†’Forumsโ†’Relationshipsโ†’What is true love? Tell me your story.

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  • #68409
    Miss.Lex
    Participant

    What is true love? It seems that many people keep discussing about toxic, unhealthy relationships that linked with doubtful questions such as, “Should I stay or should I go?” or “I am no longer happy. Is this relationship suiting my needs anymore?”

    I am 23 years old and I haven’t had many relationships, just three that I considered “official.” My first relationship was when I was 18. It lasted about 2 months, where I dumped the guy, and then realized that I wanted him back and we dated another 2 months, then he dumped me. My second relationship was worse and I was 19. It lasted a year, but we broke up and got back together multiple times. Our relationship was extremely unhealthy where a majority of it involved us arguing, yelling, and full of emotional abuse. After this relationship I decided to chose wisely next time, and to take it slow. I met my recent ex-boyfriend when I was 22. I was hesitant to jump into another relationship, especially since I saw myself having a long term future with this person. I didn’t want to mess this one up. At the beginning I set my boundaries (i.e. I have my friends, I have my own hobbies, I have x amount of time for a boyfriend). However, as soon as I saw that this was the partner I wanted to share everything with because I felt like he accepted me, I thought that this relationship was exactly how I would have liked it. I let all of my “walls” fall down and insecurities show with this person. Overtime I began to trust them and grow to love them more, and even now I still love this person. However, towards the end of our relationship we started to get into more arguments. I tend to get sad and cry a lot when my feelings get hurt or when I feel neglected, and I wasn’t able to communicate how I felt in a rational manner. (Neither did he. He would always say that he felt like he was walking on egg shells with me, or that the relationship was too difficult and shouldn’t be so hard). I didn’t think our arguments ended the relationship, but somehow I feel that my behavior was the reason for the break up. But at the end of day, he was the one that stated to me that I was too invested, and that he need a more independent woman, and that we would have second chance if we both changed.

    Of course I was hurt. I loved unconditionally, accepted this person’s flaws, insecurities, and needs for individual growth. Did I do something wrong? I know I was not perfect in this relationship, and I may have lost myself in this relationship.

    Knowing these new realizations, and learning from these lessons, I can only grow as a healthier young woman. Now I am at a point where I am trying to move forward with my life (it has been hard since it has been a month since I spoke this this person). I still believe in love. I just don’t know what that looks like anymore.

    What is your story? What does love mean to you? How do you share it with your partner?

    #68411
    shelly
    Participant

    I’m so happy and thankful to have an amazing relationship with my future husband and current father of our first son ๐Ÿ™‚ we met 7 years ago and it was love-crush at first sight <3 i was so young 16 or 17 and of course inmature and didn’t know about relationships ๐Ÿ˜€ but last year we start dating again and for us was easier to be and grow together, my fianceรฉ is 28 and i’m 24 right now and i do think that matters a lot because we are more family-centered and we are so happy, enjoying everyday and trying hard to reach our goals and become better versions of ourselves while developing and exploring our artistic interests… it has been an amazing journey and so far i’ve learned this:

    – when there’s an “argument” remember is not YOU VS HIM is you both vs the problem = finding a solution together, in harmony
    – communicate, express yourself and your boundaries, no matter how shy or crazy or whatever you think you are, if something is making you feel uncomfortable SAY IT baby! communication will strenghten your relationship

    – don’t stalk your partner ๐Ÿ˜€ i’m a jealous person, and my bf knows it, but i’ve learned that is ebtter to trust each other BUT follow your instint … i know and feel everytime that a girl is looking flirting or whatever with my boyfriend and i have talked to him and set CLEAR boundaries about what i will tolerate and what i won’t.

    – fall in love everyday! try new things because everyday is a new day to have fun and explore and share beautiful time together ๐Ÿ˜€

    – don’t let other people interfere in your relationship, or gossips,or family.. i mean, you have to be a strong couple and trust each other because at the end you will share your lives 1000% of time ๐Ÿ˜€

    #68416
    Inky
    Participant

    When I met my DH I fell in love with him ~ in my gut. I didn’t feel it in my heart (I just met him) and I didn’t figure it out in my head (I just met him), but it was a gut feeling. He was way older than me and we had many detractors and naysayers. But I just KNEW. It’s that feeling where you are driving home from somewhere far away and you see something you recognize ~ enough to turn the GPS off. When I met him, I had Come Home.

    We have the same soul but different brains. I hope that makes sense. We have the same instincts and values which makes the stuff that doesn’t matter truly not matter.

    And, read everything @shelly wrote (above). It is all so true for maintaining a relationship.

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