This post has helped me tremendously! I literally just took the ‘trip’ to end an emotionally abusive relationship! We were together three years. The abuse didn’t start until after our first year together.
During the first year there was little signs of disrespect like, flirting with other girls, his picture showing up on some other woman’s Instagram with the line of ‘would you still fuck me’, not showing up for my birthday, or for dates with me and my daughter. When I would tell him about these things he would lash out and say they all were not big deals. I would get so upset that I would simply ignore him for days trying to convince myself that he was not the one for me. But then in weak moments he would wiggle his charming ways back in and I would find myself in the cycle yet again.
One night a friend, whom I had relations with a year prior to my current relationship had called out of the blue, while Mr. ex was there and because my old friend called, my home was destroyed. He broke so many of my belongings and then justified it with, a guy you used to have relations with was calling you!
As the years continued everytime we hung out with each other, I was always reminded about how ‘lame’ how much ‘my life was a mess’, ‘you are a joke’, ‘you’re too insecure’, ‘you are a liar’ ‘you are a cheating whore’, ‘you are the reason none of your relationships work’, ‘I wish you would die’, ‘you don’t deserve a prince’, ‘you don’t deserve christmas’ and so on.
My last encounter with him was horrible. He accused me of talking to other guys because I keep a password on my phone. He then demanded that I open it and show him. So I did because i have nothing to hide. He literally went into a rage over messages from friends that were innocent. He dumped beer on me and threw the can at me and then continued to take my bedroom door off the hinges. I told him to leave and he wouldn’t. So I kept my mouth shut so he wouldn’t flip out anymore. As I laid there that night crying he told me to go sleep on the couch if I was going to be that pathetic. He kicked me out of my own bed. Like I was a dog.
After that incident I would not answer his calls or texts. Until yesterday, I told him to leave me alone. I told him i didn’t want to be around him because he scares me. He then blamed all his actions on me!
I’m ready to move on and find that happiness within myself; however, I just can’t seem to get over the pain and hurt. I also cannot get over the fact that someone that can be so abusive and monster like will in one breath say ‘I love you’, but then deny their actions of abuse! Will I ever be ok with not getting a true apology or acknowledgement from this man?