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Terry

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  • #101079
    Terry
    Participant

    Anita/tinywandrelust:
    Tiny,Thank you for coming back and commenting on how you are doing.
    Anita, thank you for reviewing the comments left by tiny.
    I see my mirror reflection in what tiny has gone through. Although, I’m at the beginning of my journey to happiness and freedom, I’m still a little stuck in the mud, but everyday is getting better. I’m at almost a week of no contact and he is in the hovering stage. He has left close to thirty voicemails, basically pulling out all the stops to get me to respond.
    Unfortunately, for him, I know his cycle. He only wants me to respond because this fuels him. He is not at all sorry for anything he claims to be, he is a sick individual and only wants to beat me down. Even though that sounds horrible for me to say, it actually feels really good to know that I have identified the cycle of his abuse and it just makes me want to stay away more. I will continue to stay no contact forever. He will not even get one single solitary ounce of a response from me. As far as I am concerned I no longer exist to this individual.
    Thanks again for sharing, i hate that this has happened to you as well; however, it brings a little peace to my mind knowing that someone else has gone through this and are now very happy. Three words: LIFE GOES ON!

    #100700
    Terry
    Participant

    Anita, he actually left a voice mail last night, stating that he was sorry.
    At one point while listening to the message that false hope crept back in. However, I know if I let him back into my life, it will be the same continued cycle of abuse.
    I’m staying strong and healing my heart, so that one day I can invite a healthy relationship into my heart.
    I do feel sad and hurt about the end of this chapter in my life. It would seem to be less painful to walk back into the arms of my abuser; however, once you are back to the cycle, you realize how much it hurts and just how badly you want to get out.
    With every passing day away from him, is another boost to my self esteem and self confidence. I don’t want to take four giant leaps forward, to turn around and take ten large steps back anymore.

    #100662
    Terry
    Participant

    Anita, my daughter is ok. She actually has not been around him in over a year and a half. He actually stopped coming around on the weekends that she is in my home.
    He may feel that it is ok for him to ‘de stress’ in the way described above; however, it does not make it right. It’s scary and it hurts.

    #100658
    Terry
    Participant

    This post has helped me tremendously! I literally just took the ‘trip’ to end an emotionally abusive relationship! We were together three years. The abuse didn’t start until after our first year together.
    During the first year there was little signs of disrespect like, flirting with other girls, his picture showing up on some other woman’s Instagram with the line of ‘would you still fuck me’, not showing up for my birthday, or for dates with me and my daughter. When I would tell him about these things he would lash out and say they all were not big deals. I would get so upset that I would simply ignore him for days trying to convince myself that he was not the one for me. But then in weak moments he would wiggle his charming ways back in and I would find myself in the cycle yet again.
    One night a friend, whom I had relations with a year prior to my current relationship had called out of the blue, while Mr. ex was there and because my old friend called, my home was destroyed. He broke so many of my belongings and then justified it with, a guy you used to have relations with was calling you!
    As the years continued everytime we hung out with each other, I was always reminded about how ‘lame’ how much ‘my life was a mess’, ‘you are a joke’, ‘you’re too insecure’, ‘you are a liar’ ‘you are a cheating whore’, ‘you are the reason none of your relationships work’, ‘I wish you would die’, ‘you don’t deserve a prince’, ‘you don’t deserve christmas’ and so on.
    My last encounter with him was horrible. He accused me of talking to other guys because I keep a password on my phone. He then demanded that I open it and show him. So I did because i have nothing to hide. He literally went into a rage over messages from friends that were innocent. He dumped beer on me and threw the can at me and then continued to take my bedroom door off the hinges. I told him to leave and he wouldn’t. So I kept my mouth shut so he wouldn’t flip out anymore. As I laid there that night crying he told me to go sleep on the couch if I was going to be that pathetic. He kicked me out of my own bed. Like I was a dog.
    After that incident I would not answer his calls or texts. Until yesterday, I told him to leave me alone. I told him i didn’t want to be around him because he scares me. He then blamed all his actions on me!
    I’m ready to move on and find that happiness within myself; however, I just can’t seem to get over the pain and hurt. I also cannot get over the fact that someone that can be so abusive and monster like will in one breath say ‘I love you’, but then deny their actions of abuse! Will I ever be ok with not getting a true apology or acknowledgement from this man?

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)