Dear xaas:

I am glad you posted here. I admire your willingness to control the abusive expressions of your anger.

“How hard can it be?”

Very hard, it has been for me and it is for many others. This is why I admire you for being willing to take on this hard challenge.

It is hard because of the abuse you took as a child; the beatings and violence you endured because you had no choice, being the child victim that you were. Being weak was the reason he beat you, because he knew you were too small, too weak to fight him back. And too afraid.

You don’t take such abuse without being injured, without the fear and the anger wreaking havoc in your mind.

What he did to you was oh, so very wrong. You did not deserve any of it, not a single bit of it. It was incredibly unjust.

And it is unjust for you to pass on the violence to others.

I was beaten too and in turn, I passed on the violence. I learned to control my anger: what a journey that has been!

Please do post again. I will be looking forward to your reply and would very much like to correspond with you!

anita