Dear Marie:

As to your last question: why do people, including your psychologist, focus (or “deviate” ) on your family dynamics, history instead of focusing on your later-in-life relationships with men? For one, the family is where you, as a child, became who you are today. These years are called “Formative Years” because you were formed then. In addition to it, your relationships with men, as I understand (and correct me if I am wrong) have been short-lived, too short perhaps to focus on?

In an earlier post on this thread, you wrote: “I feel that I’ve let my anxiety and depression take over me as I was in a really vulnerable state and had never been that close to anyone before.” regarding your ex boyfriend. You wrote though that you were never close to “anyone” before. I am thinking: maybe you were not close to your father or your siblings, or your mother’s siblings (uncles and aunts).. I am thinking you were not close with your father, maybe, because he didn’t tell you much about your mother. He moved you around a lot so you can see the world, but didn’t let you see, figuratively, his emotions (about your mother and her death, for one)?

As you can see, I have more questions, but it may be worthy for you to answer them. It is your choice. My aim, again, is to get better understanding of you so to be able to help, I hope.

anita