Dear eris:

Your post speaks to me… a lot! A whole lot. I like the Russian dolls analogy and thought about it in the past as well. I too had this very thought that you expressed only a few days ago: that my mother was a good person to a few people in her life, maybe to many people she spent a short time with, but she was a bad mother to me.

And it was also only a few days ago that I said to myself when calm: she was a bad mother to me AND I did not feel that distress as in part of me disbelieving what I just said. I used to believe such a claim only when I was angry, but when no longer angry, the doubts returned. It took five years and one month (and going) of my Healing Path to get to the point when I now said a few times to myself: she was a bad mother to me and believing myself when calm. The Healing Path takes what I call excruciating patience. Core beliefs take a whole lot of time to change and extreme patience and gentleness with oneself is required.

Thank you for your post and please do post again, anytime. I would like to exchange thoughts and experiences with you!

anita