Maybe you are afraid of being intimate (sexually and emotionally) with someone after being hurt this time. I think that is a natural response. It will take some time to let go of that fear…are you in a situation now where the subject of sex and intimacy would come up for you? If not, be patient with yourself. It wasn’t that long ago that the relationship ended, and you’re still trying to find your new “normal.” At this given point in time, how important is being sexual in your life? You don’t say how long this relationship lasted, but you do emphasize that you believed you would be with him for the rest of your life. When something like that ends, naturally it will be traumatic.

With something like this that is causing such an extreme amount of pain and upset for you, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to seek help from a therapist or counselor. It helps to put this in perspective. In the meantime, in times like this, it helps to focus on the positive. You’ve said you have amazing friends…that’s something to be grateful for. You have the means to travel. Great!

Best wishes to you!