Dear JournoGirl:

I re-read your original post and the last one. I will try to understand your situation as I type and please let me know if I am correct and where I am not:

You are married to a man, no children. You and your husband do not have physical intimacy and haven’t for many months (or longer?)- he is not interested. Before you got married he was not happy with you and haven’t been happy throughout the marriage, claiming the two of you are too different, that you annoy him and are bad with money, among other things. You begged him to stay with you again and again. There is a pattern in the marriage when he is loving (not physically) and kind and the two of you pretend that all is well, and then he explodes and tries to end the relationship.

You are having an affair with another man who loves you dearly and wants you to leave your husband and marry him.

You have no idea why your husband is unhappy with you, why he doesn’t want to have physical intimacy with you; you have no idea what bothers him and why he behaves the way he does, what motivates him and what troubles him.

In other words, you don’t know your husband. You know you have abandonment issues from your childhood and you hate it when your husband leaves.

Did I understand correctly?

anita