I appreciate in advance anyone’s help or advice.

I am in panic mode and have been since Friday morning at exactly 7am, when I received a harsh response from the CEO of my company regarding a mistake I made. In all honesty, I only deserve partial blame but of course, I am trying to do the right thing and take full credit for the mistake. This is important because, while only a year ago, my company was an amazing company to work for with a great culture, great work/life balance, etc., we have gotten new leadership and all of that has been turning completely upside down. So, instead of working in an atmosphere where a mistake is a learning experience, the atmosphere is one in which a mistake – especially one of this magnitude – is literally the end of the world. I have been unhappy for awhile now but thought it was wise to stick it out because moving through these changes could be a good learning experience.

After surviving Friday at the office, I was given written instructions regarding the expectations moving forward – some of which are actually impossible to meet. And I was given a project to complete by the end of the day today (Monday) that I spent the entire weekend working on – morning, noon, and night.

But, mistake aside, I feel terrible. I feel worthless and unempowered and sick to my stomach, so much so that I can’t eat, can barely sleep, etc. It’s like the worst anxiety and depression I have felt in a very, very long time. I am almost certain I will be fired, especially since now I feel so small and unable to complete the work to satisfaction no matter how hard I try.

This entire situation is extra magnified because I am pregnant; I’m almost in my third trimester. And on top of the concern I have about losing my job and the depression and anxiety I am now dealing with, I am worried about my baby. Surely this affects him/her. So, call it maternal instinct or call it running away from my problems, I decided I want to quit the job. I mean, no job is worth my mental health and especially not the health of my baby, right?

I talked to my husband about it and he is adamantly telling me there is no way I should quit my job without having another lined up. And while I am willing to look for a new job and pretty confident I can find something (anything, even something that is less stressful and part time would be ok), he simultaneously crushes those thoughts by telling me no one will hire me because I’m pregnant.

I haven’t spoken with him in two days, mainly because I am trying to keep my head together and not get so upset as I do when we discussed it on Friday and Saturday. I thought he would be more understanding and supportive. I feel like he isn’t on my side. (For contrast, my mother who is generally hard-line “never quit a job unless you have another offer” has advised that I quit and was very supportive of the idea that I would find something else to do….) I spent the entire weekend in our extra bedroom trying to complete the work requested of me, and sleeping on the floor. I’ve barely eaten and when I open my mouth to speak – even to call my midwife to schedule an appointment – I am on the verge of tears. Not only do I feel now like I made a mistake at work, but that I made a mistake in who I married and am questioning whether I should even have the baby.

So, I do appreciate any and all advice you have. Thank you in advance.