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  • #106223
    CandyO
    Participant

    While I have struggled with anxiety in the past, it seemed like the last year and a half have been going really well. I felt like I have had things under control, no attacks, going to therapy, yoga, exercising, etc. Boy, was I wrong. Last week I had a bunch of symptoms of having a stroke only to realize after being in the ER for 7 hours that I was having an extremely powerful anxiety attack. This has been the worst one to date in my life. Now since then, I am totally on edge and have attacks every few days. It has put me in a state of stress and worry, and my mind feels like it’s on a loop of negativity and it’s driving me crazy!
    I should mention a lot of past triggers came up around the time of this overwhelming attack. For a while I thought that since I felt good and that I wasn’t in my own head talking negatively about all these issues, that maybe I had really gotten over things from the past and the trauma that I had endured. But now I feel as though I cannot trust my own judgement. Was I getting better, or was I just pushing it down and denying my problems? I felt like I had a good grip on things. So now here I am, trying to figure out how the hell do I really let go of the past and know that I can accept these issues for what they were so I don’t have to be completely blindsided by an attack again?
    Does one every really know if they have truly let go?

    #106227
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear candyohle:

    It is my experience that there is no easy way to heal from trauma, especially ongoing childhood trauma. i had relatively good periods of time, involving exercise, health food, even a full time job, things looking up, but even during those times I had serious problems relating to my trauma. It has been for me over five years now ongoing healing work and I can see what real healing is.

    It is not having an okay time or even a good time, it is seeing more and more into what really happened and what is really happening. It is viewing my life and life itself as if for the first time but this “first time” is five years and ongoing.

    This is how I know- every day I see more, I learn more. It is not like what I thought it would be, a happily-ever-after existence, finally relaxing into well being. It is this daily learning.

    There really is such a thing as healing, trustworthy healing, not just a … break. Only this healing does not feel that great much of the time. It is interesting and I focus on the interesting part. It takes heavy duty changing of neural pathway, if I may get physiological, and that is often weird and uncomfortable.

    … For more details (as this healing of mine involves so much), ask anything specific you have in mind and I will answer.

    anita

    #106241
    Rock Banana
    Participant

    While I have struggled with anxiety in the past, it seemed like the last year and a half have been going really well. I felt like I have had things under control, no attacks, going to therapy, yoga, exercising, etc. Boy, was I wrong.

    You weren’t wrong … you really did have a good year and a half. Well done and it’s awesome to hear things have been going really well for you for that time! Here’s to more like it.

    Last week I had a bunch of symptoms of having a stroke only to realize after being in the ER for 7 hours that I was having an extremely powerful anxiety attack. This has been the worst one to date in my life. Now since then, I am totally on edge and have attacks every few days. It has put me in a state of stress and worry, and my mind feels like it’s on a loop of negativity and it’s driving me crazy!
    I should mention a lot of past triggers came up around the time of this overwhelming attack. For a while I thought that since I felt good and that I wasn’t in my own head talking negatively about all these issues, that maybe I had really gotten over things from the past and the trauma that I had endured. But now I feel as though I cannot trust my own judgement. Was I getting better, or was I just pushing it down and denying my problems? I felt like I had a good grip on things. So now here I am, trying to figure out how the hell do I really let go of the past and know that I can accept these issues for what they were so I don’t have to be completely blindsided by an attack again?
    Does one every really know if they have truly let go?

    The very good news is that if you have been spending a year and a half in a much more enjoyable frame of mind, that will influence your relationship to this particular issue, as any issue exists in a broader context. However there may well be some exploration to do around this, and I recommend carrying out that work with a highly skilled coach or therapist (preferably one that is focused on creating a happier future for you and not too obsessed with dwelling on the past – so I wouldn’t recommend any Freudian psychoanalysis for example!).

    Sorry to hear you are in this space right now, when you are in a low mood everything looks low, when you are in a high mood everything looks high, this is part of the nature of moods so sometimes it’s best to avoid too much analysis of your life situation when you are in a strong mood! It will be distorted through the prism of emotion. And about all this thinking … Stepping up the yoga / meditation may well help!

    #106585
    Rose Tattoo
    Participant

    I’m sorry this happened! In my experience, healing is never linear. One aspect heals, but there are still other aspects that are in different stages of healing. And the fact that you were doing well is great! It means you can do well again. Life is not a zero-sum game. We move forward, we drop back, we make quantum leaps, we lose ground again…having this attack does not mean that everything we were doing before was wasted. Not at all. It just means that you are you, and that maybe there are aspects of your life that you need to look at further.

    I understand feeling anxious. It may be that it’s not so much about letting go of the past as understanding that you are someone prone to anxiety attacks, and not judging yourself or beating yourself up about that. Exploring what triggers attacks, etc. Do you know what happened in this case, or what was building up and causing a panic attack? Are you doing too much? Do you worry about everyone liking you, or always doing everything perfectly, etc? I know that these issues are things that have come up for me. More recently, I’ve become aware of how much I “micro-worry” – worry without knowing I’m doing it.

    The attack was a way to learn more about yourself. You’re OK and you’re taking the right approach by exploring ways to foster calmness, physical health, etc. Best wishes to you!

    #106616
    Maria_L
    Participant

    Hello…

    Sorry to hear about your panic attack returning, I can highly relate to this cause currently I am kind of recovering from really really bad panic and anxiety disorder too. After having 5-10 panic attacks per day, I am two months ‘free’ from panic attacks. I believe I am better, but also I kind of fear that this will be a process, that they will return at some form at some point… etc. I can only hope and trust that I will get better at dealing with them by then, and can count on myself and my coping mechanism.

    I don’t believe that you are back to the start, because you had this situation after a successful year, I think that you are doing well and it’s normal that some unresolved issue might come back after a while, just in order for us to deal with it and move forward again. The mind is an enigma, and sometimes ‘freezes’ some situations because they were big shock that couldn’t be handled when they occurred, and than slowly releases them after a while. What we believe is ‘hurting us’, might be just our mind trying to protect us. This is why you just ‘freeze’ for second when you are crossing the street and a car with big speed rushes toward you. I remember, when my father died of cancer when I was 13, I wasn’t aware of the situation, and couldn’t cry, and for almost a month I kept making the table for lunch at the time he usually used to come back from work.

    They say panic attacks go away once you stop fearing them, and since you already battled this once, give yourself some credit that you can do it again, each time faster and better than the last. You just need to build up your confidence, identify the triggers in the future, and stop the situation in the very beginning, before it develops to dizziness, strong heartbeat, sweating, shaking, feeling of drowning etc… That is the ‘cure’ from what I understood. Identify in the start, and don’t let it take you further.

    I understand that past trauma has to be dealt at some point, but (also just from my experience) I find it much better when I focus on the future and gain some distance from it rather than facing it when it can easily consume me, especially in the heat of anxiety. When I am highly distressed I’d rather first help myself to go back to neutral state by refocusing on something else (joyful and positive if possible), and relieve my physical symptoms by ‘attacking’ from the physical side (exercise, food, supplements). I return to the issue when I have proper distance and perspective and feel ready. But this is just from my experience, I am not professional and don’t have the whole picture in your case 🙂

    Cognitive Behavior Therapy is wonderful thing to help dealing with the ‘triggers’ for panic (your mind is playing tricks on you to believe that you ‘will have a heart attack’ or faint… but you won’t, trust me… and you can trick your mind too ;). If nothing else, there is this wonderful website http://www.paniccure.com/ . Just go through the free introduction and it will be a great start to convince yourself that a panic and anxiety attack can’t physically harm you, you can’t ‘go crazy’, faint and have a heart attack. They are just unpleasant, that’s all. Anxiety fades away when you stop fearing the next attack. There are many testimonials of people successfully overcoming this situation, and I am sure that you (and I) will be part of these stories.

    Do not blame yourself, or push yourself hard to have happy and calm days all the time. It’s ok for us to experience bad days too. Some of the most successful people on the planet have difficult traumatic childhood and life behind them, so do not fear your past also. Embrace your life as it is. I am not psychologist, so I wouldn’t dare to give advice on past traumas and how to resolve them (I have my own too, big ones, trust me :), but what I am trying to say people move on all the time on their own terms, it can be accomplished, and it makes them better and stronger.

    Also, I don’t know your situation with medication, and that’s another subject maybe. But as someone who is dealing with this, I personally take on daily basis magnesium, high concentration of b-complex (especially b3 vitamin is essential to this), and omega 3. Also I read a lot of wonderful testimonials about other supplements like inositol (I plan to continue with it in the future, there are researches that in certain amounts it does wonders for anxiety and other disorders. But consult your doctor about this if you take prescribed medications). Do your own research, I always believe that we should give herbal medicine and supplements a try before conventional medications which are ‘problem’ on their own (most of them highly addictive).

    I sincerely wish you all the best and I am positive that you will get better again very soon!!

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