Dear cmdneosoft:

I am responding to this summary of you story: your wife had sexual encounters with a man. Some of those sexual encounters you watched yourself on video (You previously installed cameras in that man’s home). Somewhere along the way, that man stated that you betrayed his trust by watching the videos and your wife has insisted and still is insisting that you are wrong to hate this man as she continues to visit that man’s house and … insists that you join her spending time with that man and his family, sit across the table from him. When you do that you “struggled each and every time…a piece of (you) died inside because it was a reminder, a trigger and these horrible images and scenarios would start circling in my head, visions of when I caught you two together…”

If your story is nonfiction, if it is real, then your brain is operating on a fictional mode of operation. To un-fictionalize your brain, I recommend psychotherapy with a competent, hard working therapist. In therapy, I hope your thinking becomes congruent with reality.

In reality, you should never, ever be in the presence of the man who understandably and naturally triggers the real images of him having sex with your wife. In reality, if the marriage was to be, your wife should have no contact with that man. In reality, unless you are interested in an open marriage, this marriage you are having is … what is the word for it, a joke…? Something twisted, even obscene… weird, unbelievable… might be a word more fitting. Can you think of a word more fitting?

anita