Dear tabenda:

I see how this is aggravating, definitely. To speed up the process leading to no longer ruminate about him, maybe cut social media contact or any contact you have with people where you learn about his whereabouts, like his backpacking trip. Tell him you want no contact with him; tell the friend you don’t want contact with her, so you keep the two of them out of your life. It will be like you moving away, or them moving away- that will make things easier for you. Can you do that?

anita