Hey Xenopustex,

Everything is resolvable. However, to what end? If we apply your intellect to this, then you will surely see that there is a time to act, a time to listen, a time to speak, and a time to be.

Anita, an insightful soul, pointed out the gem previously. I will try to say it in another way that is more aligned with the mind side as I also learnt something from what she wrote. Your mind/intellect/knowledge/general brain stuff, will only get you so far. Also to note, you emotions/feelings/urges/impulses that are not enacted on will only get you so far.

There is a harmony between your mind and your emotions. Feelings from your core are different again, but lets leave this alone for now…. as the bridge between your mind and emotions are enough to flag what you need to attend to.

If you desire someone who is showing signs of avoidance, and after some mind reference, you can see she has also reached out a few times, surely must indicate to you that she is very sensitive to any interaction. If you are open to being in her life, then you need to be open to her level….. not yours! She needs an amazing amount of time, patience, understanding, acceptance, stability, assurance and empathy before you even get close. Ring her, and offer to help with the garden, and offer several times over the next month. Offer her the option to choose, offer the option to take her time, offer her the same things you need internally for someone to truly enter your heart!

See… you can only understand her, and notice these little things, because they reside in you already, and you are just as hurt, scared, fearful and move towards these interactions with trepidation, and (if I may) bravado, to gain the upper hand emotionally. You require the same level of tact internally as she needs from you to have a genuine interaction with you.

Intelligent emotions….. be honest within yourself, and learn from this experience how to treat someone you care about externally, but how to treat yourself moving forward.

What Anita is saying (if I may interpret) is stop over thinking it, and listen to your heart in the best way you know how. Learn from your mistakes with this lady, as she is a reflection of your inner journey. She has already taught you something you needed, and you have learnt. Open that door, allow some vulnerability into your life, take the risk, and allow things to be as they will.

You may enjoy yourself far more than you realise 🙂

Best

Evan