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Evan

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 57 total)
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  • #113979
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi Tracey,

    I agree with VJ here. Repressed emotions are buzzing around so ferociously that it is hard to find your centre and inner stability. Emotions are energy in motion. The question is are ‘you’ the emotion, or are you ‘experiencing’ the emotion.

    Time to step back and not believe in the thoughts that a raging around. Somewhere deep within you, there is a spark of joy, love, peace, empathy, courage, and it will always be there waiting for you to discover it.

    It is not found by thinking about it…… You must give yourself permission to feel it, and the discipline to keep focusing on the feeling of it. Your mind will not like this, as it is no longer in control.

    The answer you seek is just beyond your mind. No doubt it takes every ounce of courage you can muster, to allow your inner self to see past the curtain of thoughts. From that place you can redefine some thoughts and belief simply by asking questions like….. “Is this true”….. “Has this thought actually got any power over me”….. “If this thought is not true, then what is?”

    Even if you can do this for 2 seconds, then agin for 2 seconds, it is a break in the stream of your mind. Cracks in the wall of thoughts, in which some light and peace can stream through the slivers. The more you can ‘look past’ the mind, the larger the slivers become. Eventually you know within your truth.

    Best

    Evan

    #112265
    Evan
    Participant

    Hey djindji,

    Before I reply, it feels as though you have a resolution. Perhaps I add this, more for contemplation material if you choose 🙂

    All religions, and philosophies have similar threads, and Buddhism is no exception. I researched most of them when I was younger to understand my inner path.

    My advice comes from a zen saying which confused me for many years. I understand it intellectually, and then deeper as time went on, to now on a more spiritual level.

    The saying is….

    At first mountains are mountain, and rivers are rivers
    Then mountains are no longer mountains, and rivers are no longer rivers
    then finally mountains are mountains, and rivers are rivers

    My understanding around this is that the many religions, and philosophies are there to point to a truth that is unable to be put into words. The closer you define it, the further you are from understanding it. The tools given to reveal this truth, are to ‘strip’ your mind of all the labels, judgements, opinions, conclusions, beliefs as to what is….
    This is the first part of the saying – to recognise mountain, rivers, plants, people, separation, judgements, beliefs, etc…

    Once you ‘see’ or recognise these things within yourself, your inner journey begins by removing these limiting mind objects that seperate you from everything around you. This journey is the initial path to understanding that you are not just a physical being, nor are you defined by your beliefs,and circumstances. Your identity shifts from being Evan, or Peter, or Jane, or ‘djindji’. Your ideas around life, the universe and everything are no longer as explainable, nor does it make sense to your mind. Your mind is ‘part’ of the everything, yet it thinks itself to be ‘apart’ from everything. This is confronting, and confusing, and many people turn back the the comfort of the mind, until the universe offers them another opportunity (or lifetime) to once again look within…..
    This is the second line – mountains are not just mountains, as that is simply a label for communication sake now….

    The third line is the inner recognising – the initial stage of enlightenment, and the new ‘identification’ if you will. There are no labels, or names that can express who you really are. There can only be sign posts and tools of communication to understand one another. For example, My name is Evan, yet that is just a name, and without it, emailing becomes very difficult 😉 To call a flower a ‘flower’ is to limit its true existence, and expression of living energy. defining something with a few letters, or vocal grunts and sounds, can never ‘define’ what it is. As you feel this endless space within then………

    Mountains are mountains, and rivers are rivers…….. Simply they just are, and the label is understood as just that.

    Best

    Evan – or am I 🙂

    #111351
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi Nina,

    Living an authentic life, means to face your own fears, and live true to your heart. Demonstrating that within your own life is the essence of self love, however it does reveal the false disguise of others. How do deal with this in your life is with empathy and compassion. Knowing they live with fears, and with their mind that does not stop tormenting them.

    You are not there to fix them though….. that is there journey. If anything, your presence in their life is to demonstrate how you, yourself are genuine and authentic, and that they can be that also. Demonstrate your self love so powerfully, that they will want to try it themselves.

    This also is a trap….. do not get caught in the mind frame that they are less because they are not true to themselves. Their progression is theirs alone. You have yours, and that is your primary focus. Realise your inner divinity, and manifest that in the world.

    Best

    Evan

    #111117
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi twobirds,

    I simple question? Move on to where?

    Missing someone means you have love for them, not necessarily romantic but genuine love. That is beautiful in itself! Allow it to be there without it being a burden, by accepting your feelings. Once accepted, missing someone becomes a warm and open feeling, and creates a space.

    I hope that helps

    Best

    Evan

    #110446
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi Name,

    I would agree so far in that if she truly cared for you in that moment, there would have been something given to you beyond a promise of an appointment. Something perhaps that have helped regarding any healing that you may need, not leaving you with unknowns and more questions….

    Soul reading…. Interesting topic….. If this helps then great….. here is my philosophy around this….

    We are like conduits (think empty straws) in which universal energy travels through us. We have the ability to affect that energy, with thoughts, trapping the within ourselves, and this energy is carried with us. This is my understanding of Karma, where certain things repeat in your life. Healing is discovering this energy, and releasing it back, but redefining the thought that trapped the energy.

    Thoughts that trap energy are ones that move away from love (IE I am not worthy etc) and releasing thoughts are ones that move toward love (I am worthy). Healing is releasing the energy back into the stream of universal energy – otherwise know as love.

    Some people can ‘tap’ into this energy and help us find the trapped energy, and also help us to release them….. but ultimately, all your answers are within….. and the discovery only occurs when you choose to look within. Sometimes it is trauma the ignites the passion to heal, and other times it is simply a knowing to realise who you are.

    So – yes she may be able to read your energy, and help heal you….. emphasis on the help ,as the only person who can heal you is yourself.

    Best

    Evan

    #110180
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi Allison,

    What a great thread, and fantastic advice!! I can not add much at all, as the lovely people above have nailed it in my mind.

    I can only add, that this is far more of an internal journey than an external one. Your reactions and feelings serve to highlight those things hidden away that are sometimes not so pleasant to address.

    The answers you seek always are internal. The external is merely a reflection of what is going on inside.

    You can never derive love, peace, joy, acceptance, gratitude and courage externally, so those are the things to ‘do’ to yourself, and in that process, the revelation of what was hiding deep down will come to light.

    With gratitude

    Evan

    #109023
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi fmck32,

    I echo what is already written by the ladies… if I may add….

    Boundaries, respect and honesty uphold love. These three things must be present for true love to flourish and grow. Love between two people is not static, it grows or diminishes in relation to these ingredients. An abusive free relationship in entirely possible… because if you do not accept being treated in that manner, then the only relationships left are non abusive ones 🙂

    Also to note – you see these things now, because you have finally seen your inner light. You matter! You are worthy! And only you could have found this for yourself. A seed has been planted, and this also needs to be nourished. This seed is self love!

    Best

    Evan

    #107962
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi Esmerelda,

    I once read of a man who loved flowers so much, he plucked one, and held it in his palm to admire it. After a short while he didn’t want to let it go, so he clenched his fist tightly around the flower to keep it for himself, crushing the flower in order to retain the beauty for himself….

    I also once read of a gardner who loved flowers so much, he created the environment for flowers to grow, and was surrounded by beauty all year……

    Of these two men, whom would you choose to share your life with? Look past the words, and observe the action, as there is far more truth hidden in plain sight.

    Best

    Evan

    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by Evan.
    #107959
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi Strawberrygrrrrl,

    Thank you for sharing your story, and you ask a valid point of “How to let go?”

    Funny thing is as I read this I realised within myself an aspect of what it meant. My own belief structure has been that once you let something go, that you should never be affected by it again, and if you are, then you have not truly let go. Live with the pain, but not allow it to affect you (etc)…..

    Yet…. throw a big rock into a pond….. the stone settles to the bottom almost instantly (reality) but the water is churned up for some time to come (thoughts/emotions). The goal is not to be rid of your thoughts/feelings/attachments, but to understand and recognise they are there, and continue on your walk around the pond. Most of us keep throwing more rocks into the pond trying to ‘fix’ things, without realising what we are doing, and why we feel trapped to our past, or current circumstance. The water will settle all by itself, if we allow them to be, and realise they do not define us.

    Also, there are many things that happen during a relationship that is simply not visible to the eye. Energetic connections, on the physical, psychological, spiritual levels, and the mind can not make sense of them. The reason many people say listen to your heart, is that the heart can understand, but it doesn’t speak in words. Its language is via feelings or impulses.

    Try to feel what you need for yourself, and not what your mind/emotions are telling you. Moving forward does not have to make sense your mind at present, nor do you have to justify why you are choosing to do what you do. As long as you are moving toward love, and self love, and self acceptance, then the direction is correct.

    Toward love or away from love….. 🙂

    Best

    Evan

    #107750
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi kperry23,

    I do not see an issue with this…. I would be honest with your boyfriend.

    I am confused at to why you call it a mistake! To me this indicates you may have responded favourably to his advances. Otherwise it is an assault. I also sense a justification in your wording by mentioning the alcohol consumption.

    If my suggestion is true, I would most definitely be honest with your boyfriend. No for him, but for you as it is you who broke your own moral code, and it is you who feels guilty.

    This will eat away at you, and end up causing distrust within your relationship with your boyfriend…..

    Best

    Evan

    #107615
    Evan
    Participant

    Hey Xenopustex,

    This is normal when you begin seeking within. There are layers of energy within you, trapped by your thoughts that no longer serve you. As you realise these thoughts, and recognise, and let them go, you also let the energy go too. You will cry, and feel a plethora of emotions for a while to come. The energy needs to be release, and you will feel deeply. This is healthy, this is natural, and was caused by not listening to yourself way, way back when……

    With each stage though…. a space is created within. Let it be for a while, and do not try to fill it up with other things. It will feel unfamiliar, and lonely, and scary as it is a space you have not allowed yourself to be in for some time. The unknown, comes with a feeling of being lost – until it becomes comfortable and your normal once again.

    Anxiety is about trying to control the future. Thinking and planning the future is ok, but setting an expectation that what you decided upon, has to be realised…. is the essence of your stress and anxiety. The result will be what ever it is meant to be. Sometimes you will not know why it ‘had’ to be this way, until you have grown internally, and look back. It will be clear, and you will find a gratitude within that is profound.

    Go easy on yourself….. Like a bottled up jar, open the lid a little, until you are practised at dealing with what pops out. Then when your heart is steady, and your intuition is once again realised, the open the lid.

    Buy tissues, some comfort food, watch movies that make you cry, spend some time on your own, spend an hour on the beach or in a garden. Realise that life is constantly moving, and you are part of that process. You are once again constantly changing, and reconnecting with life.

    It will be ok! It already is ok, but it just doesn’t feel like it yet.

    Best

    Evan

    #107497
    Evan
    Participant

    Hey Xenopustex,

    Everything is resolvable. However, to what end? If we apply your intellect to this, then you will surely see that there is a time to act, a time to listen, a time to speak, and a time to be.

    Anita, an insightful soul, pointed out the gem previously. I will try to say it in another way that is more aligned with the mind side as I also learnt something from what she wrote. Your mind/intellect/knowledge/general brain stuff, will only get you so far. Also to note, you emotions/feelings/urges/impulses that are not enacted on will only get you so far.

    There is a harmony between your mind and your emotions. Feelings from your core are different again, but lets leave this alone for now…. as the bridge between your mind and emotions are enough to flag what you need to attend to.

    If you desire someone who is showing signs of avoidance, and after some mind reference, you can see she has also reached out a few times, surely must indicate to you that she is very sensitive to any interaction. If you are open to being in her life, then you need to be open to her level….. not yours! She needs an amazing amount of time, patience, understanding, acceptance, stability, assurance and empathy before you even get close. Ring her, and offer to help with the garden, and offer several times over the next month. Offer her the option to choose, offer the option to take her time, offer her the same things you need internally for someone to truly enter your heart!

    See… you can only understand her, and notice these little things, because they reside in you already, and you are just as hurt, scared, fearful and move towards these interactions with trepidation, and (if I may) bravado, to gain the upper hand emotionally. You require the same level of tact internally as she needs from you to have a genuine interaction with you.

    Intelligent emotions….. be honest within yourself, and learn from this experience how to treat someone you care about externally, but how to treat yourself moving forward.

    What Anita is saying (if I may interpret) is stop over thinking it, and listen to your heart in the best way you know how. Learn from your mistakes with this lady, as she is a reflection of your inner journey. She has already taught you something you needed, and you have learnt. Open that door, allow some vulnerability into your life, take the risk, and allow things to be as they will.

    You may enjoy yourself far more than you realise 🙂

    Best

    Evan

    #107454
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi North,

    I am glad you are accepting, which is such a big thing! Acceptance is being true and authentic with yourself, and if I may offer an idea for yourself and Brittany….

    There is no need to stop your thinking, as this puts energy back into those thoughts you are trying to ignore or stop. Simply bring your focus on to yourself, and how you feel, and what you hold within. This is a discipline, as you already know 🙂

    With regard to forgiveness, Perhaps we play with the word for a moment. To give something is a gift. How can you give something you do not have? Forgive is not for another person, it is for you. It is what you ‘give’ ‘for’ yourself.

    It could simply be some space, or an internal willingness to release your anger for yourself, to drop the burden of mental structures you carry about yourself, to allow yourself to be open, and allow yourself to love.

    Forgiveness is not agreement, nor does it necessarily mean to forget. Perhaps let go of some harming thoughts, but we have a mind for a purpose. In a world where everyone can be trusted and is authentic, then yes… forget.

    I truly hope this help for the next few steps, as this next step is freedom 🙂

    Take Care

    Best

    Evan

    #107448
    Evan
    Participant

    Hi lisakelly619,

    Hey I am glad it has helped, and appreciate you taking the time to share with me 🙂

    I too love this site, as there a gems of advice that drift across the pages – always appropriate, always timely.

    Take care, and enjoy 🙂

    Best

    Evan

    #107417
    Evan
    Participant

    Hey Zeroxmxi,

    Do you believe your thoughts? Are they real? Catch one, and put it on the computer table next to you. Prove to yourself that your thoughts are real and tangible. See it and pick it up. Bounce it off the wall and catch it again.. Your truth as you describe, are just thoughts….

    The only thing you have here is choice. If you choose to see your real truth, and it takes a determined discipline to choose this consistently, you will see you are invested in your thoughts. It suits you at present. Accept this, its ok….

    If however your heart and very essence are determined to change this, and see through the falseness of your existence right now, then you will choose differently.

    Your mind can not comprehend the next step, so don’t invest in the mind.

    Your heart can speak your truth – via feelings. Yes you may need to peer into your darkness, and feel it, sit with it, allow it to be……….. and then allow it to go on its way.

    Emotion is energy in motion – it needs to move, it needs to be free, it needs to reconnect to the flow of life. your mind is stopping this process.

    Stick with this statement. I am!

    No more, no added anything. You just are!

    Allow the feelings to move, and become open again to the flow of life.

    Start here – start now.

    Best

    Evan

    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by Evan.
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