Dear xenopustex:

I wish I opened your thread sooner today and answered sooner. I appreciate you opening up here, very much so and honored that you did so at my suggestion.

Your last sentence: industriousness, loyalty and fidelity not being saleable- need be saleable to just one woman, one life partner, and it is not too late for you. You can have the kind of relationship, with a woman, that will make your life so very different, so much better. It takes only one woman to highly value your qualities.

The paragraph before it: your image of crassness that people can’t see anything but it. Well, I can. I can see something else. And so will that one, the just one that you need.

Before that you asked: will changes make a difference? Depending on the nature of the changes. Some changes afford opportunities for the changes that do matter. For example, if you move to a big city but you take your mother to live with you there, then there will be no difference. But if you move without her, and on top, you attend psychotherapy that is not available to you where you are, then there will be great difference.

Staying where you are, still, you can make changes that will make a difference. If you are wise about the changes you choose to make. Trying to change your image with the little society where you live, probably will make no difference. Approaching that woman you mentioned, in a different way, opening up to her like you haven’t done before, that might make a difference.

The Serenity prayer:
“god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Did you watch the movie Groundhog Day? About a man stuck in a small town and in the same day? A crass kind of guy. It is about change, from crassness to softness. You may want to watch it. You may like it, be inspired by it.

Please do post again and I will look for your thread earlier while online and reply.

anita