Dear Adam992:

If the other member still visits the website, if you reply to his thread, maybe you can communicate.

I read you want my input except any mention of manipulation, so I will respect your request. I re-read most of your original post on this thread.

In your original post you wrote: “She’s told me the game meant nothing, that she had no feelings for him, he meant nothing” That was a lie on her part. Simply, not the truth; the opposite of the truth: that game meant a whole lot to her. She did have feelings for him. He meant a whole lot to her.

Thing is you know it from your own observations of hearing what she said, and most convincingly how she said it, how she sounded and how she looked when she talked about him.

There is no debate, not in my mind, that this is so, what I just wrote. These are facts.

You had no trouble with that guy or with the girlfriend BEFORE she fell in love with him. See? I just wrote it: fell in love with him. Ouch! That is painful for a boyfriend to watch his girlfriend falling in love with another guy. No wonder it hurt you, no wonder you felt scared of losing her and of more pain. So, no wonder you started overthinking, struggling. On one hand you were in love with the girl; on the other hand she was in love with another guy.

This is it, David. She was in love with that other guy. What you saw and heard in her eyes, in her voice when she talked about him is what you know you heard. You didn’t make this up, didn’t imagine it. She fell in love with him in real life. She had loving thoughts about him. Most likely, she imagined being intimate with him, this is what people think about, wish for, dream about when they are in love.

As you requested, I will not mention manipulation. I will go as far as assuming there was none- and maybe there wasn’t. So assuming there was none, then this is the possibility I see: she was so in love with this guy that she just had to share her love story with whomever will listen and you happened to be the guy she was talking to. You know how it is when someone is in love… so engaged in those feel-good thoughts and having to talk about them? Well she talked.. to you.

Now, David, can you live with this? And should you? Should you go on with her? Marry her? This is all up to you, of course. But one thing I do insist on: do not deny reality- that will hurt you no matter what choice you make. See it for what it is, don’t struggle by closing your eyes to what is real. What is real is: she was in love with that guy. Go from here…where? Share your thoughts and feelings with me, please.

anita