Thank you for your reply. That relationship was with an alcoholic and drug addict, who was unable for many reasons to be a supportive husband and father while raising four children, who blamed me for everything he didn’t like about his life and responsibilities. Believe me, it’s hard to be perfect while raising four children with very little emotional support or partnership. I was not striving for perfection there, just a normal marriage, co-parenting partnership which I am now realizing was never going to be available to me with that person.