I just want another human being to see some worth in me. To love them and to have them love me in kind. If that’s expecting too much from life than life is devoid of any meaning. I don’t value financial gain or political or social power. I just want to have a family. I want someone who will love me.

For Christ’s sake Hitler had a a lover! In fact just about every monster through out history was capable of making the opposite sex attracted to them! I am less lovable than all of those people! I am the lesser choice to wife beaters, jobless loafers, sexists, racists, violent drunken and people of a similar ilk. How utterly and obviously worthless must I be when I have less luck attracting someone who might potentially be a life long companion than those people?

What is so OBVIOUSLY wrong with me that it’s glaringly obvious from a distance that I’m not good enough to be loved? What is so obviously wrong about me that everyone else can see it but myself? I wish I had half the problems everyone else on all of these message boards have. I wish I was good enough to be used used or objectified by others, I wish I was worth the time and energy to have someone abuse and manipulate me to keep me under their thumb. I wish people kept dumping me after only a few weeks over and over and over again BECAUSE AT LEAST that would mean people are giving me a chance! I don’t even get that! What am I supposed to think about myself when the UNANIMOUS CONSENSUS is that I’m so obviously undeserving of love that it’s not worth getting to know me at all- that there is no conceivable quality I could possess to make up for my unworthiness? How do you rationalize that? What point is there to life if the ONLY thing that you want in life is completely contrary to your nature? Just give up, admit I’ll never be loved by another human being and learn to tell myself “It’s okay that I’m unlovable by others because at least I’m alive!” I’ll never force myself to live a lie like that.