Dear JournoGirl:

You are not hurting him. The two of you have been hurting each other and your own selves. The hurting has been like this dynamic: you hurt yourself. he hurts himself. you hurt him. he hurts you. Not in this order, but all at the same time.

And so, I say: time to stop all this hurting. This marriage has been sick for a long, long time. Take yourself out of it and heal. Let him get out of it himself so that he has a chance to heal.

anita