I’m sorry but I’m not satisfied with these answers. I’ve learned nothing that I already didn’t know and I need answers because nothing makes sense to me.

How do I effectively communicate with people? I’m ecstatic you feel I have those skills but I don’t. Certainly not face to face. What do I tell people to make them see I’m worthy? What about me even is worthwhile? I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for nearly 25 years! I’ve been in therapy since I was 5! I’m not getting cured anytime soon. How do I make someone feel like being around me would be an enjoyably experience?

How do I make up for my obviously ill-functioning mind which isn’t defective even though it lacks the basic functions of nearly 95% of the human population? How do I communicate all of this to people? Do I hide the fact that I’m perpetually in pain and suffering because I’m alone? Do I wait another 30 years and hope I’m cured by then? Then another 30 after that? What if I actually DON’T have anything to offer another human being? For that matter, when someone says “something to offer” what do they even mean? What are you offering? What does one offer? A steady job? I have one. No one cares. Be pleasant to be around? When I’m not in the middle of one of my 3 day long panic attacks I’m told my company is quire enjoyable. Doesn’t do me any good. Emotional stability? Yeah, this’ll likely never be something I’m capable of offering another human being so if this is the lynch pin of the equation I’m basically alone forever.

See the quandary you propose, weather you realize it or not (and I’m sure you do not) is that the requirements you claim another human being has to love someone are outside of my reach. However you claim I have these qualities (even I want to believe I have these qualities). So if I have the tools and qualities needed to attract someone why am I still alone and why won’t anyone give me a chance? Do I not meet the requirements to be loved? You said everyone deserves to be loved but then you said if I have nothing of value to offer no one will want to be with me. Well I wouldn’t be with someone if I didn’t love them so what I hear is “No one will live you because you lack these qualities”. Maybe that’s not what you meant to say but it’s what I’ve heard. It’s what I keep hearing. I hear it from everyone. Constantly.

When you break all the advice down to it’s smallest minutia the message being conveyed is “No one will love you because you do not have the qualities other people value”. That’s what I hear. And they disguise it. Like, they can’t just look me in the eye and say “John, listen. No one will ever love you. You’re worthless and have nothing to offer. You don’t deserve love.” At least I would respect their honesty. If that was the answer I got from the very beginning I would’ve given up a long, long time ago. Instead they bury the truth behind empty platitudes. Something like “If a person doesn’t feel the promise of some good feeling about being with you, the person will not be motivated to be with you.” which basically translates to “people don’t like being around you, that’s why you’re alone” which translates to “The person you are is unlovable”.

At this point in the game I should’ve had some luck. I should’ve gone on a date or two, been dumped and been able to try again. But, no. It’s that obvious, so utterly and GLARINGLY obvious to everyone how utterly unlovable and worthless I am. I need to know how to make people think I’m not a worthless and unlovable waste of flesh. To me it makes perfect sense: I have nothing of value to offer ergo I’m alone. I’m not a bad person, I’m just scared and I don’t know what to do. I hurt every single day and nothing makes it stop.

I’m scared and I’m alone and no one seems to be able to offer me the advice I need. This isn’t some faulty wiring in my head I have a real and honest deficiency in my life that I can not resolve. I need a salutation to my problem, not empty platitudes. No one wants to tell me what I need to do, step by step, to make another person see my worth and fall in love with me. So if you won’t or can’t offer me that hope that’s fine. It’s nothing new, either. No one really wants to help me. Everyone seems content knowing I’m alone. It seems to be the way it’s meant to be. No one will give me a chance and no one wants to offer me any advice. I’m meant to be alone and I’m meant to be unloved and the sooner I accept that fact I can learn to lie to myself about how happy I am.