Dear Anita,

Namaste. You are much too generous with your sentiments.

My head is on point. My heart is less so.

I am bereft; however, not enough to initiate contact.

It would be an act of desperation were I to do so and it would leave me vulnerable to becoming a door mat.

I suppose I am at a loss as to what it was about me to have attracted a man of his character because I need to discern this so that I may never cross paths with such a man.

All signs point to him as still a playboy. He has hidden his holiday photographs. He does not tag himself with women. He is vague about his emotions on social media, so I must conclude there are other women in the background watching his posts and perhaps waiting. For instance, all of my photographs he liked on my profile, he has now un-liked. Clearly, he is a man with a master plan.

Our common friend had no notion he was this way and is horrified she had a hand in introducing us. She encouraged me to look after myself first and foremost and to simply leave for my own peace.

I suppose what makes this exponentially harder on the heart is there are two families who were hoping for a happy ending. I have to force myself to look at what he does/did and not listen to what he says/said because that is the authentic him.

I invited his mother to continue a correspondence with me outside of FB, because I cannot be certain she is not conveying information on my page to her son.

I gather he and his childhood friend are experiencing concerns in these early days. She is in one state. He is in another state. She spent a week with him and he is AWOL. Already. This is not a way to live and this is not the way I want to live.

My mother expressed concerns early on, since he was a man in his 40s, unmarried, no children and all for a reason, and now I know. During the darker moments I return to a quote someone gifted me:

Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.

Amen and ain’t that the truth 🙂

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Lily.