Dear Shirley:

There is a difference between an Inner Critic and an Inner Bully (or an abusive inner critic). The first is necessary so we play by some reasonable rules, for example, when you wait in line and you are impatient, wanting to rush ahead of someone in front of you, a reasonable inner critic would say: Shirley, I know you are in a rush, but we have to wait in line for our turn, please relax, breathe in, let go, relax. An Inner Bully, on the other hand will say something like: Shirley, what is wrong with you? Do you think you are more important than the person in front of you? Shame on you!

See the difference? So yes, listen to a reasonable, patient and gently inner critic. But an inner bully should not be listened to but rejected and expelled. Replace the bully with a reasonable inner critic.

anita