Dear ncOleee:

Your last sentence is: “Please help what I could tell her to help open her eyes.”-

Most people, I have found, close their eyes to what is in front of them. I did, for many years. This closing of the eyes, ignoring reality, is really, business as usual.

You are doing it to: you are closing your eyes to the reality that you are wasting your time repeating to her the same old, same old input from you.

So, open your eyes to your real options: if you choose to keep being her friend, you can ask her to not tell you about him, talk about other things. You can let her talk and say nothing. You can let her talk and give her a different input.

When she says: ” “it’s really hard we’ve been together for a long time”, a different input would be: “Tell me what “really hard” is for you? How does it feel when you are not with him? Get her focus from what HE is doing, where he is and with whom to —> how she feels, what she is experiencing. And take it from there.

anita