Hi Ladybug,

I see that you’ve received a lot of good responses here and I agree with everyone who says you’re not alone…this problem is so common and I’ve been experiencing the same thing for the last few years. I am in a wonderful, long-term relationship with my boyfriend and even though he’s thoughtful and understanding it just isn’t healthy to have only one person to go to! I totally understand where you’re coming from. Anna makes a good point, perhaps you should look inward to discover why you’re attracting a certain “type” of friend, but what if you journey inward and realize that it’s not you, it’s them? Perhaps the reason these kinds of friends are coming to you is because they’re not made up of “good friend material” and they bounce around from person to person and periodically land on you?

If this is the case I have a different suggestion for you — look to “expat groups” or “new to the area groups” online for your community. People who have just relocated love to make friends with a local and I’ve met some really amazing people this way. Try searching on Facebook, Meetup, or NomadList — or even think outside of the box and rent out a spare room on Airbnb. You may end up with friends all over the world rather than a close community here, but talking to interesting people other than your partner will do a world of good, I promise! Consider signing up for local yoga, fitness, or acroyoga classes and make sure you attend all the same classes so people will start to recognize you. Try searching for a beginner level of something a little off the wall so that everyone feels awkward and uncomfortable — it’s the best bonding experience!

Best wishes!